Discussion have you ever questioned yourself?

[Saga]

I'm not sure about this but lately I've found myself questioning as who am I and what happened to me after the incident that happened when I was younger..

It feels like I have lost track of myself,sometimes I look in the mirror and I dont know who this person is who stares back at me..
It feels like I just have a name but I dont really know who I am..


.FYI: i never had professional help

in my country it doesnt seem like depression is a big thing and its all just drama

 

[Kjo]

I can definitely relate.

I saw a trauma therapist and realized that everything I am as a person is simply a result from the trauma I endured. I don't know who I am.

 

[Saga]

I can definitely relate.

I saw a trauma therapist and realized that everything I am as a person is simply a result from the trauma I endured. I don't know who I am.

i lost track of myself as I never really knew after what happened..i think ive lost my identity when I was 13y.o...and it feels like i am not who i believe i am...feels like im just a body with a name

 

[Tabbyql]

Not a clue who I am, I've always just been whatever people want me to be.

 

[LMLN]

Not a clue who I am, I've always just been whatever people want me to be.

Me too! I was born to be a caretaker, people pleaser. It's done me no good.

 

[Saga]

Not a clue who I am, I've always just been whatever people want me to be.

same here...

 

[Tabbyql]

Me too! I was born to be a caretaker, people pleaser. It's done me no good.

Yeah same here, used and let go when I'm of no use.

 

[Phoenix1990]

My therapist describes me as being a rescuer. I want to save everyone else. Putting their needs before before my own.

 

[Rocksandsand]

I have a lot of trouble qualifying my own identity. Everything I think I am is ultimately transient...

I think I am empathetic, but I can be jaded and cynical of other people's problems. I think I am funny, but I haven't made anyone laugh in what seems like an eternity. I think I am a good friend, but I sometimes fall silent for days or weeks. Even the things I 'enjoy' are highly circumstantial, and the people I like depend on how they treat me.

I can't even say I am resilient. Yeah, there's a fuckload of trauma and I am still here, but I wouldn't be alive if no one caught me last year.

The best I can come up with is that I am a combination of contradictions.

 

[Vegrau]

Depersonalization?

I know who I am but I am not the person I am currently living as. It feel as if I am living as someone else. If that make sense. All this is just doesnt feel real.

 

[262653]

I watch things happening, notice patterns, name them, describe them, see links and connections being drawn. Yes, depersonalization/dissociation, the gift of suffering. I haven't seen DSM criteria, or whatever authotiry figure got do decide what the hell does that mean, but I think that is exactly what I am experiencing. A coping mechanism, or literally, shielding/protecting/covering mechanism. I like the word 'shield'. One of those instances where sound makes a good pair with meaning. How to protect yourself from harm? We redefine what you are, so that you are not the one being harmed anymore. There, problem solved. I'm not being sarcastic here.

 

[reveriewong]

All the time.