Have you ever felt that you were an UTTER looser?

[Sslsh]

Society has been designed in a way that rewards loud extroverts. People with social anxiety have to live like they have some kind of a disability.
No social skills = no good job (and no money), no chance of a relationship, no social life, no respect.
I could have developed skills that don't need social interactions but my apathy (that stems from anxiety induced depression) never let me do so. I only blame (beat up) myself for this.
Here I am, sitting on a steaming pile of garbage that is my life. I just wish I get some sort of terminal disease or get hit by a truck. Because one or these days I'm going to yeet myself in front of the railway line.
Sorry for the long post. I know almost no-one would/should bother reading this but oh well.

 

[JustAMatterOfTime]

Yes, waste of oxygen would probably have been lobotomised if I was born 50 years earlier, probably been happier for it too.

 

[GenesAndEnvironment]

Of course, wouldn't be here otherwise.

 

[blue_muse]

It's not a long post and it's no bother reading it. You've been expected to make orange juice from lemons, which hardly makes you a loser.

 

[RedHarlequin]

At some point I understood that my anhedonia, tiredness and everything else is not my fault but comes from a clinical illness. Just like people with cancer can't do a lot of things so can't we, it is a fault in our brain. This has made me suffer less. I sincerely hope that one day you will be able to see this too.

 

[Sslsh]

At some point I understood that my anhedonia, tiredness and everything else is not my fault but comes from a clinical illness. Just like people with cancer can't do a lot of things so can't we, it is a fault in our brain. This has made me suffer less. I sincerely hope that one day you will be able to see this too.

It's much better now than it was in my teen years, when I didn't know what was wrong with me and thought I was just not trying hard enough. Maybe someday I will come to love myself the way I am, if I live long enough that is

 

[WornOutLife]

You have some certainly interesting points there!

However, I think there's an exception: to get money at least! I have a friend (the only one left lol) who hates society and talking to people but he's a freelance engineer who's programming 24/7. I mean, I dunno if he's happy but he certainly has a lot of money lol.

As for the other aspects, I totally agree. Extroverts have it easier. I guess that's why I forced myself to become a good actor when I'm around normal people.

 

[Celerity]

I'm not 100% introverted and sometimes have trouble relating to my friends who are, but people generally don't like me all that much. The only friend I have held onto has been abused and allows people to treat her like shit. Pretty much anyone with standards won't make time for me.

Now that I have both shots of the Moderna vaccine, I plan to go out more to bars and such. Drunks typically have lower standards for company. I know I find everyone more tolerable when I'm drunk, including myself.

 

[Sslsh]

You have some certainly interesting points there!

However, I think there's an exception: to get money at least! I have a friend (the only one left lol) who hates society and talking to people but he's a freelance engineer who's programming 24/7. I mean, I dunno if he's happy but he certainly has a lot of money lol.

As for the other aspects, I totally agree. Extroverts have it easier. I guess that's why I forced myself to become a good actor when I'm around normal people.

You're right. Although it's not as easy as it is for extroverts, introverts do develop high demand skills and earn a lot. It's just that I am too apathetic to even try anymore. I can get a minimum-ish wage tech support/content writing etc kinda job that doesn't require major skill over here but I have no motivation left in me.
I try being a good actor in social situations but I am not natural at it and almost always come out either too forceful or too laid back.

 

[SweetDreams500]

I feel like that everyday

 

[Neowise]

Yes.

No matter how hard I try, I am always below average. I just don't have enough talent or IQ to be worth something in this society.

 

[avoid_slow_death]

All my fucking life. I feel no matter what I do, it will fall all around me in the end because so far it has. Every time. I have come to feel that it must be me who is defective and garbage. I just poison everyone and everything around me unconciously and I am tired of it. I don't want help and I don't want pity. I just want.....nevermind. No point in really mentioning that because it seems petty and trvial in light of other's problems on here. Plus, I am just a weak ass loser and cannot handle the stress of life. Kill me, please. I deserve it.

 

[Aloken]

I mean, most of my life I felt like a loser. But I have some traits in my personality and character that I like and admire (high social and emotional intelligence is one example). I was feeling like a loser for all sorts of things, for example when I took the wrong road and had to go back in front of everyone..or just walking in the street. Feeling like a loser was my natural state, it didn't happen when I started feeling suicidal.

 

[Dead Meat]

All of my pathetic Life.

 

[Sslsh]

Feeling like a loser was my natural state, it didn't happen when I started feeling suicidal.

Can relate to this. Even walking in front of people is a struggle to me because hand movement doesn't come "naturally" to me. So I just end up keeping them idle which makes me look like a braindead robot.

 

[Aloken]

Yeah, I completely get that. I was always trying to look "cool" and nonchalant when I was walking or doing pretty much anything in public, when deep down I felt so stupid, annoying and ridiculous. I mean I couldn't even eat in public without feeling uncomfortable. I stutter and have hyperhidrosis on my palms so these added to my overall anxiety and uneasiness. I avoided speaking to people and my hands and body were sometimes in weird positions because I was trying to get comfortable with my palmar sweat and hide it. However being alone in uni classes helped me face soooooome of my social anxiety and overcome it. Of course not enough. (I talk in past tense, because I haven't left my house in ages, and I feel my life is over and I'll make it official soon)

Can relate to this. Even walking in front of people is a struggle to me because hand movement doesn't come "naturally" to me. So I just end up keeping them idle which makes me look like a braindead robot.

 

[Mizuri]

Have I ever felt? What do you mean felt? I an an utter fucking disappointment and loser.

 

[StringPuppet]

Yes because I am one

 

[lonerclown666]

Society reward evil people
I believe many people cope in believe life will become better for them but every year is the same crap some people just born to lose

 

[Sslsh]

Society reward evil people
I believe many people cope in believe life will become better for them but every year is the same crap some people just born to lose

Well they are the ones making the "rules".

 

[demuic]

Society has been designed in a way that rewards loud extroverts. People with social anxiety have to live like they have some kind of a disability.
No social skills = no good job (and no money), no chance of a relationship, no social life, no respect.
I could have developed skills that don't need social interactions but my apathy (that stems from anxiety induced depression) never let me do so. I only blame (beat up) myself for this.
Here I am, sitting on a steaming pile of garbage that is my life. I just wish I get some sort of terminal disease or get hit by a truck. Because one or these days I'm going to yeet myself in front of the railway line.
Sorry for the long post. I know almost no-one would/should bother reading this but oh well.

I completely relate. I have social anxiety.. countless opportunities wasted. No one understands how difficult it is. You'll think you've gotten better for a while only to realize you are still being weighed down it no matter how hard you try.. And I have no real skills also due to depression and other conditions. I wanted to and want to do so much, but I'm not capable of anything. I was doomed from the start.

 

[lonerclown666]

Bullying Isolation and Mental Problems can ruin a person

 

[DavesDogDexter]

I think you start getting messages about yourself from an early age and by the time you start the socialization process - school with peers - if you don't have a fundamentally strong, positive self-image and the ability to defend yourself emotionally.......you're sunk. Power plays and the scramble for dominance starts on the first day of school and the more money and affluence that fuels it, the more repugnant the behavior. Does there even exist a "nice kid" who's also privileged? Hell no. The best you're going to find is one who knows when and to whom "nice behavior" gets them what they want (in other words, to "get over.") I think your future self is set by the time you're nine or ten.

Humans fall somewhere on a continuum of predatory behavior and those on the low end "enjoy" a much lower degree of "success" (material wealth.) Nice guys really do finish last and I'm guessing more frequently by their own hands than not.

 

[SweetDreams500]

I am the biggest loser on this website.

 

[Wayfaerer]

I never felt like a loser (although would qualify as one for most people) until what had brought me to suicide. Then I felt like a huge one and couldn't believe my eyes what was happening to me so suddenly. It was like going from 100 mph with sweeping beneficial changes to my life to going 2 mph and while frequently breaking down. To have been brought down like that before my prime? It was brutally demoralizing. A few months later and life having gotten even worse (hard to believe!), I decided now (may 2019) was the time to throw in the towel.

I feel no guilt or remorse for my actions because I understand that they were all pre-determined to happen but it just leaves me scratching my head "what was even the point?" It was such an empty and pointless life and soon it was going to end.

I had learned a tremendous amount from becoming suicidal. If I were given a time machine and just go back to my 22nd birthday, I would definitely definitely live in such a way that I wouldn't be considered a loser by any metric. I'd change it in the ways I always wanted to but felt like I couldn't from demoralization. It was all fated to happen though, that's how reality works.

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

Every waking second of my pathetic existence.

 

[lofticries]

All the time. But tbh I'd rather die than become an extroverted loud mouth normie.

I just don't like this world and want nothing to do with it in general.

 

[Dutchyala]

Yes, all the time. I was born fated to be a loser.

 

[ClownMe]

Yep, everyday of my entire life.

 

[Outsider]

I feel unfit. Not like a loser because it implies there is a game and a chance for winning. There is very little control we have over our lives if any.