Have you ever been hospitalised for attempting suicide?

[Ready2GoNow]

What was your experience like? Mine was extremely traumatic. The staff were all sociopaths. I was in an open ward (didn't even have curtains separating beds) and wasn't allowed to get out of bed at all. Had tubes put in me for toilet needs. Had to be bathed by staff, which is already bad enough considering I wasn't incapacitated in any way! Let alone when you consider I was bathed while laying in bed ON THE OPEN WARD. All patients got sleeping pills, whether you had trouble sleeping or not (I slept fine but had to take them anyway), and immediately after the nurses would put their chairs in the middle of the room to watch tv- which was permanently on the news channel.

I wasn't given ANYTHING to pass the long days. Not even a pen and paper. I had absolutely nothing to entertain myself with.
I told the nurses I didn't want to see my abusive parents. They let them in anyway. When I protested I was SHOUTED at by a nurse: 'THEY ARE YOUR PARENTS HOW DARE YOU TREAT THEM LIKE THAT' etc.

Even the psychiatrist was deranged. He met with my abusive parents before seeing me. Keep in mind I'm an adult in my mid 20s, haven't lived with them since age 17, in fact live in a whole different country and have very limited contact with them.
Anyway, after his meeting with them he immediately decided I have bipolar and borderline personality disorder, despite not fitting the symptoms. His meeting with me was just him desperately trying to confirm his bullshit diagnosis. He even wrote down that I suffer from hallucinations, that piece of shit. I've never had hallucinations in my life, I only had them in hospital because I overdosed on sleeping pills- and that's a side effect! Who gave this moron a degree?! To add insult to injury, I had an EXTREMELY overactive thyroid at the time (my hormones were 10x higher than they should be) and my doctor says it's highly unethical to diagnose mental illness in someone with uncontrolled thyroid issues. Of course the hospital knew about this.

At the end of the meeting with the psychiatrist he gave me- a grown adult who lives alone- a LONG speech on how my parents are 'in charge' and I 'must obey them like an army sergeant must obey their captain'. I swear to god that's a direct quote. What a PSYCHO.

So I went through all that extra trauma, got some bullshit fake diagnoses on my medical records which will haunt me for life, and left the hospital feeling even more suicidal then when I arrived.
In short if you weren't already crazy before you went in, you certainly were when you left!

anyone else out there with experiences to share?

 

[purplesmoothie]

I would rather not go into detail of mine, but yes they are truly horrible.

 

[Sinkinshyp]

I was in and out of pych hospital as a teenager. I never experienced anything like that. What country is that in? I would find some higher up hospital management someone to file a formal complaint. Your rights were violated in so many ways. Is there a way to get the diagnosis removed due to the uncontrolled thyroid issue? I had thyroid cancer at 18. Thyroid can cause you so many issues mentally & physically it's unbelievable.

December 2017 my mom had the police take me to psych hospital. My son had died in a car accident 2 months prior. I spent about a day and a half in there and they released me. The psychiatrist said what I was going through was normal and if I was like this the rest of my life it would be normal- I lost my son I raised alone.
April 2018 I OD'd on 50 pills. I admitted what I took and I intended to die to go to my son- they discharged me after 30 hours because they did not take my insurance.

my experience in 2017 & 2018- I take medications that can have serious consequences if missed. I also need my blood thinner or I get blood clots. I was never given any medications. The entire staff was rude and disrespectful. 2018 they had a woman they all knew well as a patient there. They allowed her to control the tv with her rap music and she danced all over while the rest of the patients were told to sit at the tables. No books, no puzzles, nothing to keep people occupied.

I'm so very sorry about what happened to you OP. I really hope there is a way to file a formal complaint and get that place shut down.

 

[ronigail9]

yes, the paramedics kidnapped me while i was unconscious, despite DO NOT RESUCiSTATE signs in my room (worthless). i was held against my will and forced to leave the medical hospital for a mental hospital. i was furious. i did not consent to anything and now I have thousands of dollars in bills

 

[BipolarGuy]

They too will have special places reserved at my special holiday camps I'll open when I take power.

My go to solution.

 

[Ghost2211]

No, but that my literal biggest fear. My heart goes out to each of you that has been put through that. I don't know why they think locking people up against their will with nothing to do will make them mentally healthier.

 

[InterstateFlowers]

I've never been hospitalised as an adult. My only experience was being hospitalised (in the U.S) as an adolescent so everyone I was with was approx. 13-16 years old. At that age, you're sometimes in the same area with kids who are lower than 13 and are elementary and pre-school age so 6, 7, 8, 9, and 10 year olds. You're not allowed to interact with the little ones and it breaks everyone's heart (besides the workers who didn't seem to care) because they were so little and just wanted to go home. I've been hospitalised more than 6 times as an adolescent so I have some experience. I've met someone who was hospitalised more than 11 times.

I was 14 when I was first hospitalised and all the other patients were so nice and kind. I was introduced to many different people and the issues ran deep for everyone. Some kids were raped and molested and done drugs and had parents who were so horrible I was appalled. So much crying. This was the first time I was introduced to people suffering so harshly like this and it hurt my heart that I can't do anything. I have very vivid memories of everyone I've met that first visit, they're close to my heart and I wonder how they're doing now.

At an adolescent unit, it's mostly really tight-knit and close. We can understand each other and eventually always open up with our problems. There's a lot of laughing and crying. Even the loneliest most broken person there was accepted and supported and spoken as equals. There's a lot of friendships and sometimes people share phone numbers even though it's not allowed. It's very social and usually nice. Some kids were more intimidating because of their experience with gangs and drugs and "ghetto" language and sometimes there's "fights" but that's not very common. Almost everyone has done drugs and I was surprised because I was taught what the stereotypical druggie looked like but everyone looked so normal. It taught me that doing drugs doesn't mean that person looks like a hobo or illiterate but was most likely suffering and needed help and compassion. I'm more compassionate because of this experience than my peers.

There was also snacks that we could get at any time but at some places you have to ask because it's locked but most of the time you can grab snacks like pudding (my favorite), orange/apple/grape juice, cheese sticks, yogurt, and crackers.

It's group therapy so everyone's problems are outed in some way or another, voluntarily or not. Some places are pushy about that like the first place I went but some just focus on the therapy itself. There's also different types of therapy. Like people would come and play instruments with us and songs/karaoke or do art with us like painting or origami. Every place I was in had some recreational activity like music and art and yoga or going "outside" somehow. One place I was in had an outside rooftop (obviously with a super tall curved fence around the perimeter) where you could play basketball and fresh air. Another place was a small outside area where you could draw with chalk or play badminton. There's always an adult around. Every place I've been to had something that let you fresh air. It was fun and even kids who didn't care much for exercising enjoyed fresh air. I don't know if adults get this treatment but it's always there for adolescents. It's not like you can walk outside but there was a time every other day or each day that let you outside.

Very rarely did adolescents see the adults. Sometimes we had to pass them and I would always wave at them but a worker would tell me to stop because you're not allowed to interact with them. But I was always very curious so I always asked the workers what the adult unit was like and if it was anything like the adolescent unit. Most of the time they mentioned adolescents talked more to each other and were much closer like a family but the adults were mostly within their own and didn't interact with each other as much. Sometimes practice nurses came in and I always liked them because I asked a lot of questions and were always very nice. I loved talking to them.

Therapy was it was okay at least for me. The workers I loved the most were young people lol so like mid 20's. It was easy to talk to them but some were strict and nobody liked them. It was the nurses who were easy to talk to and "relatable" that were well-loved. It's not unusual to see kids who were genuinely excited to see a nurse on their floor/working the shift because they were "cool" and nice. There was this really muscular man one time who worked as a nurse and we all joked around him because it was so funny to see a super buff dude as a nurse. It was painful to see kids who had to come home to people with obviously abusive families and there was nothing the hospital could do?? I remember being so MAD this one girl I cared for had to go back home to a family whose """parents""""" didn't love her. Basically, therapy only teaches you to cope with your problems and doesn't do anything to focus on the problem. Literally everyone has home problems in one way or another and the nurses are like "We can't do anything when it comes to home so we have to teach you how to cope". Some workers are sympathetic to that but most of the time they just shrug when I mention that therapy can only do so much when the real problem is at HOME.

anyways this is my experience at a U.S adolescent unit and all i remember at the moment but if anyone has more questions, feel free to ask! i'm curious about the difference between adult and adolescent so if anyone wants to compare, i'm happy to know. great job if you read all this lol :)

 

[nothingchanges]

best part is how they break your bank forcing you to buy something against ur will

 

[TimeToBiteTheDust]

Nope. Never. First attempt will be the last

 

[LastFlowers]

yes, the paramedics kidnapped me while i was unconscious, despite DO NOT RESUCiSTATE signs in my room (worthless). i was held against my will and forced to leave the medical hospital for a mental hospital. i was furious. i did not consent to anything and now I have thousands of dollars in bills

What kind of signs? I think they can discard even an official DNR request if they feel like it, which I find absolutely disgusting and it goes against our basic human rights. I don't think anyone should be resuscitated when there is risk of permanent damage having already been done..all that does it leave the person worse off when they already wanted to commit suicide in the first place! We are surrounded by the societally acceptable sociopathy that bellies in the minds of pro-lifers and those with hero complexes.

 

[vacant_n]

Once and it wasn't that bad, but I know I got lucky. I was only there for a little under a week. I had a private room, went to a bunch of group therapy sessions (which were actually helpful), made friends with some of the other patients, and spent a ton of time reading. The worst part was the shower situation - they were kinda gross, scalding hot and shut off automatically after what felt like less than five minutes. It was basically impossible to shave too, which I hated. Other than that my memories of the place are... I don't know, not exactly fond, but not bad either? It helped me when I needed it, and being able to openly talk about being suicidal, with people who actually understood it, was incredibly valuable.

 

[death137]

After serious injury during my attempt I was taken to a military hospital I was born and mother used to work. One of the nurse/doctor who was friendly to me told me suicide is illegal and can get me to jail. I think I wasn't reported because they knew my mother. I heard someone who jumped and survived. He was hospitalized and when he recovered he was jailed. But when I searched on the internet it says suicide is legal in my country.

I returned home but the next day they took me to a psych ward which is found in that hospital. I had my own room and my mother was there with me all day. My brother, sister and few others visited me. I had my phone. The other patients were all older than me and were either soldiers or ex-soldiers. Most of them were very mentally ill. I became a little close with one. They gave me sleeping pills and other pills and I slept most of the day. They fixed my neck injury again. From day one I told my mother to get my out quickly. The doctor and other stuffs wanted me to stay longer but after a week they let me go.

 

[Caspers]

What kind of signs? I think they can discard even an official DNR request if they feel like it, which I find absolutely disgusting and it goes against our basic human rights. I don't think anyone should be resuscitated when there is risk of permanent damage having already been done..all that does it leave the person worse off when they already wanted to commit suicide in the first place! We are surrounded by the societally acceptable sociopathy that bellies in the minds of pro-lifers and those with hero complexes.

I am walking proof of that. Got a brain injury because I was 'kindly' brought back to life. My mother wants me to say thank you to the hospital. I want to kick them where it hurts, they helped me get this disability.

 

[ronigail9]

Nope. Never. First attempt will be the last

I thought so too... if you want guarantees, try doubling up on your method. I had the SN method in a bucket for if I woke up (I had a lethal injection of IV fent), but couldnt take it in time because I was unexpectedly found. MAKE SURE YOU ARE NOT ABLE TO BE FOUND IN TIME

 

[Cant Maintain]

I'm trans and they continuously tried to poke at me the best they could to make me misserable, the women nurses were tolerable, the other patients were life savers. They wouldn't let me shave so the grate of facial hair made me want to fucking die simply from dysphoria. The male nurses however would do everything in their power to assert control over me and dehumanize me. They would beat me lightly enough to not leave marks and forge excuses that i was uncontrollable and needed to be sedated while whispering the most vile shit they could at me while help came.
This traumatized me from ever allowing myself to trust an inpatient psych experience again.

 

[Panna]

I have been hospitalized twice, the first time was simply from a rage filled episode, but the second was from a attempt. I remember being taken in through the front door, and it was apparently the same place I had been to before, because during my last stay there was this black employee who would torment the people staying there, but really had it out for me. As I was wheeled in through the front door he laughed in my face and told me welcome back. I hope he's dead.

 

[UpsidedownStar]

First actual, serious attempt, I went to the top of the tallest building in my city. It was a parking garage. Couldn't bring myself to jump, so I called the police. I pulled a knife on them but couldn't bring myself to let myself get shot. I was subdued with minimal injuries and hospitalized.

My third or so serious attempt, I took a shit ton of datura/angel's trumpet seeds. I ordered 800 or so, maybe ingested around 200, mixed it in yogurt so it wouldn't stick to my throat. Pretty horrible results - I lost consciousness the moment I laid down, around 45 minutes after ingestion. I regained actual consciousness about three days later, in the hospital. I was more than happy to cautiously confess to my obligatory therapist that I took the seeds, then feign ignorance when she told me how poisonous they were.

I'm lucky to have had decent experiences being in-patient. I'm "lucky" to still be alive. Hoping this next time will be different.

 

[Marchioness]

best part is how they break your bank forcing you to buy something against ur will

Fucking this. I told one of them as they were handing me a bill, you know one of the reasons I'm in here is because of money right?

 

[Panna]

Couldn't bring myself to jump, so I called the police. I pulled a knife on them but couldn't bring myself to let myself get shot. I was subdued with minimal injuries and hospitalized.

I'm surprised they didn't end up shooting you out of principle, I'm not a "cop hater" but pulling a a knife would be asking for it.

 

[_Kaira_]

I have been. At least to me, feels like prison every single time. Sit around doing pretty much nothing, see their psychiatrist every once in a while, who sees you for 10 minutes and barely listens to you. All the while being treated like a child who doesn't know how to handle themselves. Not fun.

 

[xLosthopex]

Yeah many times, but before I found this site and didn't know how to ctb properly so it was mostly OD attempts
Meh, it was fine, just kept me in the psych ward for a few days(I'm well used to long term psych ward admissions anyway because of my Anorexia so it wasn't anything new to me)

 

[watsonsmith]

So I went through all that extra trauma, got some bullshit fake diagnoses on my medical records which will haunt me for life, and left the hospital feeling even more suicidal then when I arrived.
In short if you weren't already crazy before you went in, you certainly were when you left!

This is very true. All the diagnoses I got were either uninformed or plain out wrong. Being gaslighted and told I perceive things a certain way (when I'm just telling the truth) is wrong because of a label they gave me. It was particularly my last hospitalisation that has been absolute hell. I'm pretty sure the doctor who was assigned to me was on a spectrum of psychopathy, she seemed to enjoy my pain and her having absolute power over me in this situation. Perhaps she had some unresolved issues and just hated men in general (since her female patients didn't seem to have many issues with her).

Overall psych wards should be avoided. I did have two mediocre experiences (which is better than the absolute nightmare this last one was). None of the stays helped me though and if anything made things worse.

Whilst I don't want to deny other patients' inherent value, it was also difficult for me, generally a high functioning individual with an intellectually engaging career to end up among people who have mental deficiencies as well. Overall a self-esteem destroying exercise. On the other hand, I did meet a few people I'm still in touch with.

But yes, being gaslighted and overdiagnosed is horrible and makes you question reality and your own self in an incomprehensible way. On top of that these stays can leave a mark on your life that just can't be washed away. It also gave my family the ammunition to avoid taking any responsibility since I'm the one who is clearly sick.

 

[dilapidatedMind]

My experience was like the movie Bronson.

 

[GreenTree]

Been in phyciatric hospitals 4 times. 1st 2 times they helped in 2005 and 2008. This year I been in twice and they haven't helped. Could smoke inside back then. Now its a pain too sign out too go off grounds for a fag. The place you most need a fag. They are ghastly places really. People in mental anguish. Some people are really bad. Dont understand life being so cruel.

 

[Squiddy]

I'm hoping if I do attempt, it'll be my last

 

[MrBigSad]

That sounds very traumatic. I know it seems like a small thing but after my failed attempt I was not allowed to smoke.

I'd literally beg the staff at the hospital but they would not let me out. Not just for
A cigarette but for fresh air and sunlight too. So I spent over a month locked in a room. I told my parents at least if I was in prison I would be entitled to fresh air..

I remember sticking my mouth on that half open window gasping for breath. No living being deserves to be caged like that.

 

[AJ95]

Wow OP that sounds literally insane.

I've been hospitalised I think 5 times now and every time has been fine, I've been let out within a day or two, once even later the same day lol.

Hospitals over here in Sydney are good though, although one of them is a similar open ward thing to what you described, just with curtains separating the beds, it wasn't a lot of fun but I was only there for one night.

 

[IDIABUSE]

So sad. All those opiates in their pharmacy but refuse to use them? Tubes put in you? Wtf sounds like torture.

Why have opiates and ketamine if they won't use them for those who need them most? Just let the drugs expire I guess.

Those fucks give dysphoric dopamine blockers but won't give opiates or ketamine? Perampanel? Dxm? Spit in their face!