Discussion Have You Ever Been Ghosted?

[Celerity]

Has anyone you were close to ever ceased contact with no warning?

Bonus questions:
1. What did you do?
2. How did it make you feel?

As for me, I have chronicled my supernatural encounters with ghosts many a time (a joke; I am taking about people ignoring you). Generally, when somebody does this to me, I don't try to reach out to them. I completely give up unless I see them regularly in-person. To no surprise, these episodes always made me feel like a worthless pile of shit. I question my own instincts and lament how everyone I like never seems to like me back.

 

[theboy]

Do you mean being ignored or having supernatural encounters?

 

[Celerity]

Do you mean being ignored or having supernatural encounters?

LOL, read the poll question. I'm talking about the slang term, not actual ghosts (spirits/demons).

 

[theboy]

I kept texting some people asking them to reply but they never did. Others simply accept the loss.

 

[Celerity]

I kept texting some people asking them to reply but they never did. Others simply accept the loss.

That sucks. No acknowledgment even after you try. I think some people are serial offenders - what we would call "flaky".

 

[theboy]

That sucks. No acknowledgment even after you try. I think some people are serial offenders - what we would call "flaky".

Yeah... damn society

 

[Xocoyotzin]

Yeah, several times but I deserved it tbh.

 

[PreussenBlueJay]

To bastardize a movie quote, "It's funny how I still want to be friends after they rip my guts out." Due to strong anxiety I just let people go if they want to drop me. Once I feel the barrier go up between someone and myself it's insuperable and I can't bring myself to reach them.

 

[western_heart]

Yes, it has happened a few times to me.

The worst case I can remember, I was going to go camping with someone. It had been about two months since we had last spent time together. We had the dates picked out but no reservations, hadn't picked an exact location. I was already on vacation near her city with my family, but in the days leading up to our scheduled trip she stopped talking to me. I was really depressed and ended up going on a solo trip to yet another city.
She eventually contacted me again about a month later, explaining why she couldn't do it. We talked on and off again for the next year or so, and even met in person one more time. In the end, she ghosted me for good and it's been over five years since I last heard from her.

Most of the times I've been ghosted, I've gotten back in contact again, sometimes after a few weeks delay. Sometimes we continue being friends, sometimes it's an indication that the friendship is about to end & one of us ghosts each other for good. Often times one of us becomes too attached. One friend had a string of being in jail, then hospitalized a few times, and travels a lot. We are still friends for almost two decades, at this point I'm used to talking to him daily then not hearing from him for weeks.

Fairly often, I am the one who ghosts. I am doing it to my family right now. I've done it to jobs a few times, to friends and family when I was having episodes, to friends and family after I was hurt by something that happened. It's usually not so deliberate, more of a result of my dissociative disorder. I am not always strong enough to set boundaries and communicate my needs, it is easier for me to dissociate from the pain and silently go no contact without consciously choosing to do so.

 

[odradek]

I have never been ghosted. The connections I had with people in my life were tenuous at best. I think those relationships ended naturally but that's just my perspective I suppose.

I did ghost everyone in my former life. My depression hit hard and I ran from them all. I deleted all my social media too so I don't even know if they've tried to reach out since. I think about this daily. I know I'm wrong but I don't even know where to begin rectifying this. It wasn't about them, it's completely on me. I just can't even anymore.

 

[Dead Ghost]

I just counted that I have done it 22 times.. and most of each of these involved many people, rarely have I done it to just one person.
But I've been trying to straighten it out for years, more than anything because it was a way to escape or avoid uncomfortable situations that I have no choice but to face sooner or later.
But I have bad habits and I keep running away when I feel bad and I don't want to give explanations... thank goodness that in this forum I can express myself freely about my problems and in some way it helps to neutralize this from happening again.

//

Acabo de comptar que jo ho he fet 22 vegades.. i la majoría de cadascuna d'aquestes englobaven moltes persones, poques vegades ho he fet a una sola persona.
Pero ja fa anys que ho intento redreçar, mes que res perquè era un manera de fugir o evitar situacions incómodes que no tinc mes remei que enfrontar tard o d'hora.
Però sóc de mals hàbits i continuo fugint quan em trobo malament i no vull donar explicacions... menys mal que en aquest fórum em puc expresar lliurament sobre els meus problemes i d'alguna manera ajuda a neutralitzar que això passi altre vegada.

 

[OpheliasFlowers]

Fairly often, I am the one who ghosts. I am doing it to my family right now. I've done it to jobs a few times, to friends and family when I was having episodes, to friends and family after I was hurt by something that happened. It's usually not so deliberate, more of a result of my dissociative disorder. I am not always strong enough to set boundaries and communicate my needs, it is easier for me to dissociate from the pain and silently go no contact without consciously choosing to do so.

This is me, too. Jobs and family like you wrote. And it happened/happens with me for the very reasons you said: being hurt by something they did or said but, after years of attempts to calmly try to talk to them about our issues and work them out and having that backfire in my face to only be treated more coldly or cruelly and thoughtlessly by them, combined with my own inability to stay strong about boundaries, it's become the easier route to just ghost them and not initiate any interaction. I haven't seen my sister in person in 8 yrs or talked to her in almost a year (she doesn't care), and havent spoken to my dad in about months after our last phone call (we live hours apart so we don't see each other really) when he was so nasty and insulting and critical of everything about me that I just can't bring myself to call him anymore and have him destroy even further my already basically non-existent confidence or self-esteem, especially now when I need those things more than ever, and knowing I have the emotional support of family (who are supposed to love me and care about me, which he doesn't seem to based on what he says and does). I simply cannot deal with his coldness and disinterest. It hurts too much. And he's also so unpredictable and will get angry and cruel in a millisecond and I never know what'll set him off, and that's incredibly stressful for me to try to navigate. So, right or wrong, good or bad, I've just stopped calling him. He doesn't call me either though, so... i feel badly about this, as he's in his late 80s, in poor health, and I know doesn't have a lot of time left but I can no longer tolerate his abusiveness and lack of support or even basic human kindness or courtesy. When I've tried to stand up to him, he tells me how awful I am to him, or he plays the martyr, and I only end up feeling 10x worse about myself than before the phone call with him.

I never used to ghost people. But now it's become both a protective measure/tactic for me, as well as a result of simply not having the energy anymore and a kind of apathy.

 

[suicidalwillreturn]

No, because people hardly talk to me and more rarely would I initiate the chat. IRL and online

 

[OpheliasFlowers]

...because it was a way to escape or avoid uncomfortable situations that I have no choice but to face sooner or later.
But I have bad habits and I keep running away when I feel bad and I don't want to give explanations...

Same. This happened a lot with me when I was in my late teens/early 20s, with jobs. "Ghosting" wasn't a term then, but that's what I was doing. When a job situation got more than I could handle or cope with, and because I possessed no healthy, good coping skills nor had a support system behind me, I'd just run away (i.e. abandon) from jobs without giving notice or at least informing them I was quitting. I'd simply not go back. It's embarrassing when I remember it now, how irresponsible I was but at the time, I acted on impulse as a result of my anxiety and inability to handle stress, or be strong and speak up for myself. A friend back then, when I'd asked her to be honest and tell me what was wrong with me when I was trying to figure out why everything was always so much harder for me and why my life was such a mess compared to my friends and peers told me that I was "flaky". I'll never forget that. She was right, it was accurate, and I'd asked for honesty- but it still stung to hear.

 

[tiredplant777]

Yes I have been ghosted. I met a guy on an app and we dated for about 3 months. Then he seemed to lose interest but wouldn't admit it and then ghosted me the day before we were supposed to hang out again. It actually really messed with me and made me feel really gross. The worst part was he presented himself as a really kind person who really liked me, and towards the end of us dating his mask started slipping and then he ghosted.

 

[Lily (Osako)]

Has anyone you were close to ever ceased contact with no warning?

Bonus questions:
1. What did you do?
2. How did it make you feel?

As for me, I have chronicled my supernatural encounters with ghosts many a time (a joke; I am taking about people ignoring you). Generally, when somebody does this to me, I don't try to reach out to them. I completely give up unless I see them regularly in-person. To no surprise, these episodes always made me feel like a worthless pile of shit. I question my own instincts and lament how everyone I like never seems to like me back.

Yes.
1: moved on and ignored it
2: a little crappy for a little while, but got over it pretty quickly.

 

[OpheliasFlowers]

Yes I have been ghosted. I met a guy on an app and we dated for about 3 months. Then he seemed to lose interest but wouldn't admit it and then ghosted me the day before we were supposed to hang out again. It actually really messed with me and made me feel really gross. The worst part was he presented himself as a really kind person who really liked me, and towards the end of us dating his mask started slipping and then he ghosted.

I'm sorry that happened to you. It's amazing what good actors some people are and how easily they can fool you into believing they're a certain type of person (kind, thoughtful, have integrity) when in actuality they aren't. I've had a similar situation happen to me with a guy who I'd believed, for years, to be one of the most respectful, truly GOOD and kind people I'd ever met (which isn't many). Then when his true(r) colors emerged, it messed with me, too. I hope since that happened to you, you've been able to understand that it was that guy, and NOT you, who should feel gross. Again, I'm so sorry you went through that experience and I hope you've since been able to heal from it.

 

[tiredplant777]

I'm sorry that happened to you. It's amazing what good actors some people are and how easily they can fool you into believing they're a certain type of person (kind, thoughtful, have integrity) when in actuality they aren't. I've had a similar situation happen to me with a guy who I'd believed, for years, to be one of the most respectful, truly GOOD and kind people I'd ever met (which isn't many). Then when his true(r) colors emerged, it messed with me, too. I hope since that happened to you, you've been able to understand that it was that guy, and NOT you, who should feel gross. Again, I'm so sorry you went through that experience and I hope you've since been able to heal from it.

Awe thank you so much. I think I've been able to heal from it, at the end of the day I've been through worse betrayals. I also feel kind of bad for him in a way too, he seemed really insecure and just really messed up.
I am so so sorry you experienced that, especially after knowing that person for years. That must have been so hard, knowing someone that long and thinking they are genuinely good and then having that change so drastically is so disturbing on so many levels. You deserve so much better! I hope you have been able to heal also.

 

[Apathetic]

Recently been ignored by a good friend of mine. I moved to a different country, and ever since he's just ceased contact or replies days/weeks late to my messages. Especially annoying since we used to hang out every other day when we were living in the same city.

 

[Zegers]

This is quite common nowadays, even friends have done it. From a marketing point of view, in this society we are products. idk, people bore me, like almost everything else.

 

[tetra]

I've had a lot of "friends" who just stopped messaging back, stopped answering calls, people i've known since middle school and high school. I've had a 4 1/2 year relationship end via ghosting, i'm still not sure what went wrong. In my tweens my mother left across the country with her boyfriend. I don't know if that really counts, she came back crying to my father a bunch of months later.

I've become guilty of the same behavior. At this point it's probably become a defense mechanism for me.

 

[Lauriso]

All relationships are two player games. I liken it to ping-pong - if the other person doesn't return your shots, and there's already a bunch of balls on the floor in their corner, I give up.

Sometimes, if meet in person and reconnect a bit, I try to initiate the relationship anew by texting and suggesting to meet. If I see no reciprocation from their side, I stop pushing.

Ever since I become depressed, I feel I've lost a bunch of people I considered my friends. I guess they just can't handle my darkness even though I try my best not to just dump it on them and keep up the positive and supportive attitude from my side.

 

[Celerity]

All relationships are two player games. I liken it to ping-pong - if the other person doesn't return your shots, and there's already a bunch of balls on the floor in their corner, I give up.

Sometimes, if meet in person and reconnect a bit, I try to initiate the relationship anew by texting and suggesting to meet. If I see no reciprocation from their side, I stop pushing.

Ever since I become depressed, I feel I've lost a bunch of people I considered my friends. I guess they just can't handle my darkness even though I try my best not to just dump it on them and keep up the positive and supportive attitude from my side.

A lot of people just don't want to hang out anymore. It's really annoying. I have made some acquaintances at work and only one consistently agrees to hang out. I think people have become homebodies and are intimidated by the smallest things. I ask myself how they can even stomach coming to work. My job involves a lot of people interaction.