Discussion Have you ever actually experienced a genuine connection with someone?

[Ferret77]

Eh....Maybe a weird question, but I'm genuinely curious if people here really felt strongly and mutually connected with someone, whether it's platonic, or romantic.....And how did that end up for you?

 

[Lulzacruel]

only platonic and 1 romantic relationship with my wife and my two kids.

considering im schizotypal, i'd say things are going very well for someone who's very condition literally says in the criteria that they "can't have significant connections outside of family"

 

[MrDarkness]

Once, she was the love of my life, the only person she treated me as her equal, I ruined it, I still hate how I ruined it, my life would've been so better if I didn't fuck up our friendship

 

[winamp]

I don't think I ever have I really wish I could I've tried, everyone just keeps me around to use or they just tolerate me or I am just completely invisible and a ghost walking among the living

 

[lovesickmoon]

i feel emotions on like an insane level. i think the connections ive felt were very obsessive and intense. i really do wish i had genuine healthy connections with people but ive officially closed myself off when it comes to that oof...

i can only think of 1 person that was different from others, but i dont hear from them.

 

[Ferret77]

I don't think I ever have I really wish I could I've tried, everyone just keeps me around to use or they just tolerate me or I am just completely invisible and a ghost walking among the living

Yeah, same honestly.....I thought I really did, but eventually, they just ended up using me and leaving anyways....
People in my life seem to enjoy hurting me for some reason....Or I'm also completely invisible :⁠-⁠(

 

[020x]

I knew some girls before and we liked each other, but never gotten closer than being just classmates. After that, I didn't really find anyone that is my type both physically and mentally. Especially now, where only suffering plays the role every single day, i'm also dependant on drugs, don't think any girl would want a man like that but anyways. I have basically other things to worry about, unfortunately.

 

[figure8]

No, and I will never be able to. Not without deluding myself. And even then, it won't be genuine.

 

[winamp]

Yeah, same honestly.....I thought I really did, but eventually, they just ended up using me and leaving anyways....
People in my life seem to enjoy hurting me for some reason....Or I'm also completely invisible :⁠-⁠(

same, I honestly wouldn't mind tolerating people who treat me badly because it's probably better than being alone, ignored, and isolated

a cycle of constantly giving and caring and never receiving the same in return until they leave or don't hide their true intentions anymore

but I know that would not be good so not having any friends may be for the best

 

[Ferret77]

only platonic and 1 romantic relationship with my wife and my two kids.

considering im schizotypal, i'd say things are going very well for someone who's very condition literally says in the criteria that they "can't have significant connections outside of family"

Oh well..... I'm really glad you were and are able to do that! It's very difficult to mantain relationships with almost every type of mental health issue or disorder....for me as well.
So, it might sound strange coming from a stranger on the internet, but I'm proud of you!

i feel emotions on like an insane level. i think the connections ive felt were very obsessive and intense. i really do wish i had genuine healthy connections with people but ive officially closed myself off when it comes to that oof...

i can only think of 1 person that was different from others, but i dont hear from them.

It's very similar to me. My emotions are SO intense and a way I would describe them, is just painful - whether they're positive or negative, it's always too much. It's been like this almost my whole life, and to be honest, I still have no idea how to cope with it. I get really obsessive in relationships with people I care about too, to the point, where the way they treat me, literally controls my life (+ my mood, emotions, etc.)
I'm kinda scared, that I'll never be able to truly connect with anybody....

 

[locked*n*loaded]

Looking back, I don't really think I ever had that. I was even engaged at one point, but if I were to assess the relationship honestly, I don't feel (now) there was really a connection. I've had multiple chances in my life, and, for whatever reason, was never able to forge a lasting relationship with anyone, outside of family. I'm sure it's mostly my fault. Hey, it is what it is. I can't redo the past and all I can deal with is now. We have to live in the now, as long as we're able to do that, anyway.

 

[Ferret77]

same, I honestly wouldn't mind tolerating people who treat me badly because it's probably better than being alone, ignored, and isolated

a cycle of constantly giving and caring and never receiving the same in return until they leave or don't hide their true intentions anymore

but I know that would not be good so not having any friends may be for the best

Eh.... It's like you can't win, no matter what you do. If you have people around you, that treat you really badly, ignore you or maybe abuse you or bully you, it's horrible and makes everything worse.
But if you have nobody in your life, that would keep you company, you feel absolutely horrible too. You'll end up feeling helpless, lonely, scared, anxious, depressed, isolated etc. anyways.....So I really don't know, what to do....

 

[eve2004]

Good question. Yes, in the past. Until I got screwed over by a therapist who destroyed my trust. Now I am simply unable to connect with any human being, including the ones I used to connect with. I am not an introvert... This is why I am here now. It is a long and lonely life to live this way. I have absolutely nobody left in my life. I have no emotional connection to anyone or anything.

 

[bedhead_baby]

Only to my dogs, and of course it was probably one sided. Not that they didn't/don't love me, they just don't make little suicide pacts hinging on my death. My childhood dogs did like me most, and would get anxious and agitated if I left the house for more than a day, but those two have passed.

I don't think I loved my ex. I respect them (kind of... it's a long story), but I think I was more in love with the fact that someone had a crush on me for the first time in my life, finally after 18 years, and I had someone to care for. But without giving sex, I don't think there's a way I could realistically have a mutual connection with someone. I don't connect the same way most others do, I suppose. (I saw y'all in my ace thread though. Ace solidarity lol )

 

[that_guy2611]

Nope, i did not.

 

[Archness]

No, I don't think it's even possible with this defct brain of mine. Only mistaken connections or illusion. I'll leave this short, low mental energy rn, might post something about it l8r.

 

[mob]

Yes, I feel deep connections - however, it fades after a while and then I feel insanely annoyed by that person. Don't know what's wrong with me lol.

 

[HighFlight]

Yes, for my immediate family - wife, kids, and my mom.

Besides that, I have a very difficult time connecting with others so have no friends. Other the years, the relationship with my wife soured and we're essentially roommates now. And the kids have reached the age where they're moving off to start their own lives. So it's very lonely these days.

 

[ChronicPain23]

It has never worked out with anyone, despite 23 years. Avoidant personality here.

 

[deomlez]

Oh yes
This friend (this word is poor to express what linked us together) was the most beautiful people i have met. Good listener, understander, free to say what he felt, how he functioned psychologically. We have had deep conversations on every subjects. I have opened all my brain and heart to him, although we have no love feelings at all (in a common meaning), and he welcomed it and he enhanced me. I was genuinely myself with him and he not only accepted it, but liked it, what is huge to me (i m an alien not fitted to this world and not accepted as i am by humans). I was here for him when he needed. It hard to express the exceptionnal relationship we had, moreover in english.
i have met him in the firm we worked in, and when he has left, he asked me not to go on having these discussions, he wasn t able to deal with it, it was too moving inside him after that, taking some hours to come back to normal... i agreed, bc i would have agreed to all for him... and finally we have stopped any relationship, after that, how could we keep in touch for saying "Hi how are you ? Fine thx"...
Then i felt in a deep and dirty depression, the worst down i have experienced, the last one also.
No day without thinking of him. It's a big scare.
It was so wonderful and painful that i am broken, a part of my soul is away and I decided never build a relationship again. I am numb.

 

[DeadPool360]

Idk what platonic means but yeah at some point I genuinely loved my freinds they were like the brothers I always wished for I treated them like that and kept saying that to them (you guys are my brothers and more than that) but as you can see I am here cause they went lived there own life's and pretty much forgot me one of them even stopped being in contact with me in all shapes and forms acting like we never knew each other so right now I feel numb to love and emotions the only thing I can feel clearly is saddnes when I remember myself when I was younger

 

[FuneralCry]

Never and I could never wish to either. I'm certainly all alone in this hellish world, I could never relate to other people, I'm just trapped in an existence I'm not meant to endure waiting around to die.

 

[404]

i don't think i had a 'strong connection' to someone but i had a friend that treated me like a younger sister

he comforted me a lot when i was at my lowest point back then and he always reassured me that he'll never get tired and leave me no matter what i do

now he's not with me anymore and i don't think he'll ever come back

i have a strong feeling that my depression and my obsession to him is the reason why everything fell apart

also looking back i never treated him like an older sibling
i really regret not doing that

 

[deomlez]

i don't think i had a 'strong connection' to someone but i had a friend that treated me like a younger sister

he comforted me a lot when i was at my lowest point back then and he always reassured me that he'll never get tired and leave me no matter what i do

now he's not with me anymore and i don't think he'll ever come back

i have a strong feeling that my depression and my obsession to him is the reason why everything fell apart

also looking back i never treated him like an older sibling
i really regret not doing that

This story breakes my heart

 

[S like suicide]

Yes i did.
I have been lucky enough to feel loved by someone when everything was dark and painful. I will always be deeply grateful for this because there is nothing more wonderful and powerful for me than love.
I have to actually thank ss for this and for the people I've met thanks to it.

 

[Baron]

I've never had anyone like that. It's always just me, in my room, thinking about myself and getting more depressed day by day. I doubt I'll ever have any genuine connection with anyone. I doubt I'll ever have anything genuine in my life

 

[ApparentlyNot]

Yes. Excluding my immediate family: my childhood bestfriend in late elementary and middle school, my two bestfriends from high school, a therapist I met in a juvenile placement... and the only one who still tolerates me, my husband. It is sad that I haven't had a real friend, or hell even a superficial one, since my early 20s when I cut off my bestfriend from high school and stopped going outside, but when I look back I am very glad to have experienced genuine connections with these people even if it was years ago.

I end up pushing people away when I get attached to them because I have a fear of abandonment. I get mean and insecure after I realize that I need them, so I find a reason to cut them out before they reject me... that's what happened to all the relationships I mentioned. Minus said therapist, who I just stopped contacting because I felt my connection to her was weird and one sided... I guess that's pretty similar actually. My friends all moved away to go to good colleges and I decided to do heroin and think about killing myself instead. I shut down all their attempts to ever reach out to me and still managed to feel victimized and rejected by all of them, despite outwardly rejecting them.

But I will forever be grateful to have met my husband, I know this will make a lot of you roll your eyes, and I get that, but I couldn't give a fuck less: he's my soulmate, and I feel so lucky to have experienced loving him, and to experience finding someone who understands me the way he does. Although, I cannot imagine even him putting up with me for the rest of our natural lives. We have been together since I was 15, and I'm 28 now.

 

[todiefor]

Oh well..... I'm really glad you were and are able to do that! It's very difficult to mantain relationships with almost every type of mental health issue or disorder....for me as well.
So, it might sound strange coming from a stranger on the internet, but I'm proud of you!

It's very similar to me. My emotions are SO intense and a way I would describe them, is just painful - whether they're positive or negative, it's always too much. It's been like this almost my whole life, and to be honest, I still have no idea how to cope with it. I get really obsessive in relationships with people I care about too, to the point, where the way they treat me, literally controls my life (+ my mood, emotions, etc.)
I'm kinda scared, that I'll never be able to truly connect with anybody....

What is it called when you experience emotions so intensely?

 

[pyroxenic]

I did. But the 2 people i felt connection to betrayed me in the same way. The first person i cut contact completely and the second im considering doing the same. These two were the closest friends ive ever had and hurt me in the exact same way and i honestly cant go through that same pain 2 times in a row. At this point im just convinced im not cut out for any relationships its like a curse at this point. i feel better mentally when im alone anyways funnily enough.

 

[todiefor]

I think I have actually made some real connections in my life, all very strong slightly older ladies, truly amazing human beings, I think I was looking for a mother figure I never quite had.