Have you been told that you just have to be grateful and made to feel guilty for wanting to ctb?

[Deleted member 23774]

Have you ever talked to someone about being suicidal and all they say is that you have to be more grateful for what you have? Like they say you have a place to live and blah blah blah, not taking into consideration what it's like feeling totally hopeless and such, that the only way to end what's going on is to ctb?

I've been really struggling and wanting to ctb before the holidays and I told my therapist and all she said was a list of stuff that I need to be grateful for. I am grateful, but I can't handle this pain anymore. My therapist also went so far as telling me that if I ever kill myself she could get investigated and possibly lose her license. I can understand this if I were to tell her that I will do it right then and she didn't report it, but it won't be the case because I'm not going to tell anyone before I ctb. It sucks when I'm made to feel guilty for how I feel and what I'm struggling with.

 

[Deleted member 23885]

Yes, my dad told me that there r people who r blind, without limbs and still thankful. I can't understand that.

 

[Deleted member 23774]

Yes, my dad told me that there r people who r blind, without limbs and still thankful. I can't understand that.

Yeah, totally people just don't get it.

 

[Deleted member 23885]

I think it's because severe clinical depression is beyond ordinary ppl's comprehension. Also, the same for severe mental illnesses like schizophrenia.

 

[Deleted member 23774]

I think it's because severe clinical depression is beyond ordinary ppl's comprehension. Also, the same for severe mental illnesses like schizophrenia.

For sure

 

[Deleted member 23885]

Thanks, it was great talking to you.

 

[SuicidallyCurious]

This is a common thing said by people with a wishful thinking mindset. In the right context it makes sense but it is often used to belittle others. Here in the USA this phrase is often used and told to people who are in poverty. I'm sure other countries tell their children this as well. Generally being grateful for small things is conducive to happiness but I often see people say this to others who have been absolutely destroyed in life.

 

[issyishere]

I hate when they do this because they just try to invalidate your feelings and then on top of your pain you feel somewhat guilty.

 

[Deleted member 23774]

Thanks, it was great talking to you.

It was nice talking to you also.

 

[SuicidallyCurious]

I hate when they do this because they just try to invalidate your feelings and then on top of your pain you feel somewhat guilty.

I seem to recall hearing this phrase numerous times in childhood from adults who were preoccupied with their own interests and this is what they say when they want you to just go away. For example the adults may want to take a vacation, or prioritize themselves to do something else and as a result you get sidelined or left to do nothing for they day and they just say "you just have to be grateful".

 

[Deleted member 23774]

I seem to recall hearing this phrase numerous times in childhood from adults who were preoccupied with their own interests and this is what they say when they want you to just go away. For example the adults may want to take a vacation, or prioritize themselves to do something else and as a result you get sidelined or left to do nothing for they day and they just say "you just have to be grateful".

Yeah

 

[Superdeterminist]

When people pull the gratitude card, it really ticks me off. I can't choose to feel gratitude, I either feel it or I don't. And whilst there are some things I'm grateful for in life, I find that they're few and far between because in this suffering-prone world, there's much more stuff to bemoan than there is to celebrate.

 

[WornOutLife]

Yes, I have. I usually tell them that in any case, I'm UNGRATEFUL to life.

Just, what is this world? I see more suffering than happiness. Even rich and famous people ctb so material stuff is not the answer.

Geez! I hate the universe!

 

[SuicidallyCurious]

Yes, I have. I usually tell them that in any case, I'm UNGRATEFUL to life.

Just, what is this world? I see more suffering than happiness. Even rich and famous people ctb so material stuff is no the answer.

Geez! I hate the universe!

Yeh material stuff will not fill a void, takes something more than that

 

[Ardesevent]

Yep. I'm happy I wasn't born during WW2 and stuff, but being thankful for that doesn't help me at all.

 

[darksideofthebright]

This is a very salient example of what people say to force those with mental health issues to adopt a cup-half-full mentality.

We all have our personal circumstances, upbringings, environments, traumas and difficulties which lead to our personal coping capacity, so it's completely unfair to compare one's suffering to another's. I'm so sorry that your therapist has been so unprofessional as to tell you about her being investigated and such, that's not something to ever say to a patient. I hope if you continue to seek help from therapies, you can find a better professional than this person. Sending you hugs.

 

[symphonyofthenight]

People want to make you feel guilty for giving up the "gift" of life. But the thing about that is that it's a gift foisted upon us without our consent or approval.

I think that people also say that because the fact that we might actually ctb is honestly something people don't understand. "how could you want to kys?" well people don't understand, and that scares them. So I think they try to tell you to be grateful because they don't want to deal with you and your scary want to ctb and don't have to deal with if you do do it. They have done "everything they can".

 

[Symbiote]

"Some people in other parts of the world have no house, no food, and no income, yet here you are with everything that I have given you and more, and you're still suicidal? You have a house, a job, food on the table, but you CHOOSE to be suicidal for attention..Why can you CHOOSE to be happy for once?" -ze wife

I don't talk about my issues anymore, I get this lecture every time verbatim. I don't express my feelings or thoughts because they are a call for attention, got it! I have to figure them out by myself while blending in with societal pressure because that's men do. To do otherwise, as my wife would say, "Stop being such a bitch".

 

[Nymph]

Yes, many times

 

[NodusTollens]

Sorry to hear that OP, your feelings are definitely valid- whether or not they wish to acknowledge them. The part about them losing their license, while it may or may not be true, was their attempt at guilt tripping you & I have zero respect for that.

You are a human being with feelings & emotions, if it is in fact their job to support you, how could they possibly feel like saying that was supportive?

 

[Deleted member 23774]

Yes, I have. I usually tell them that in any case, I'm UNGRATEFUL to life.

Just, what is this world? I see more suffering than happiness. Even rich and famous people ctb so material stuff is not the answer.

Geez! I hate the universe!

Same here.

This is a very salient example of what people say to force those with mental health issues to adopt a cup-half-full mentality.

We all have our personal circumstances, upbringings, environments, traumas and difficulties which lead to our personal coping capacity, so it's completely unfair to compare one's suffering to another's. I'm so sorry that your therapist has been so unprofessional as to tell you about her being investigated and such, that's not something to ever say to a patient. I hope if you continue to seek help from therapies, you can find a better professional than this person. Sending you hugs.

Thank you

People want to make you feel guilty for giving up the "gift" of life. But the thing about that is that it's a gift foisted upon us without our consent or approval.

I think that people also say that because the fact that we might actually ctb is honestly something people don't understand. "how could you want to kys?" well people don't understand, and that scares them. So I think they try to tell you to be grateful because they don't want to deal with you and your scary want to ctb and don't have to deal with if you do do it. They have done "everything they can".

That makes a lot of sense.

People want to make you feel guilty for giving up the "gift" of life. But the thing about that is that it's a gift foisted upon us without our consent or approval.

I think that people also say that because the fact that we might actually ctb is honestly something people don't understand. "how could you want to kys?" well people don't understand, and that scares them. So I think they try to tell you to be grateful because they don't want to deal with you and your scary want to ctb and don't have to deal with if you do do it. They have done "everything they can".

That makes a lot of sense.

Sorry to hear that OP, you're feelings are definitely valid- whether or not they wish to acknowledge them. The part about them losing their license, while it may or may not be true, was her attempt at guilt tripping you & I have zero respect for that.

You are a human being with feelings & emotions, if it is in fact her job to support you, how could she possibly feel like saying that was supportive?

Sorry to hear that OP, you're feelings are definitely valid- whether or not they wish to acknowledge them. The part about them losing their license, while it may or may not be true, was her attempt at guilt tripping you & I have zero respect for that.

You are a human being with feelings & emotions, if it is in fact her job to support you, how could she possibly feel like saying that was supportive?

Yeah, my therapist was totally like "You just won't impact yourself. I could lose my livelihood." Yeah total guilt trip.

 

[NodusTollens]

Yeah, my therapist was totally like "You just won't impact yourself. I could lose my livelihood." Yeah total guilt trip.

Those are the unfortunate moments that shape lasting views about the field of psychology. If they're more worried about losing their license than helping a client, they may be in heh wrong field.
—sigh—

 

[Lulu Land]

I've been told this and I'm also told multiple times how others have it worse which in return doesn't make me feel necessarily guilty, but makes me hate myself more. It's an endless spiral really. I feel like shit, I'm told other have it worse so I feel even shitter, then I get mad at myself for feeling like that, and it just continues until I have no care for myself or for anyone else sadly

 

[an_alias]

several times

 

[Deleted member 23774]

I've been told this and I'm also told multiple times how others have it worse which in return doesn't make me feel necessarily guilty, but makes me hate myself more. It's an endless spiral really. I feel like shit, I'm told other have it worse so I feel even shitter, then I get mad at myself for feeling like that, and it just continues until I have no care for myself or for anyone else sadly

Yeah, I feel the same way.

 

[KuriGohan&Kamehameha]

"Some people in other parts of the world have no house, no food, and no income, yet here you are with everything that I have given you and more, and you're still suicidal? You have a house, a job, food on the table, but you CHOOSE to be suicidal for attention..Why can you CHOOSE to be happy for once?" -ze wife

I don't talk about my issues anymore, I get this lecture every time verbatim. I don't express my feelings or thoughts because they are a call for attention, got it! I have to figure them out by myself while blending in with societal pressure because that's men do. To do otherwise, as my wife would say, "Stop being such a bitch".

Your wife needs to stop calling you a bitch and look in the mirror!

 

[AutoTap]

Yes and they say others have it worse.. so? That's like saying to someone who lost there legs; well some people don't have legs or arms. It's dumb

 

[Sprite_Geist]

There will always be individuals who are better and worse off compared to someone else - relatively (and in some cases) objectively speaking. Turning human suffering into a competition helps no one, and only contributes to pushing those who originally wanted to seek support further into hiding.

Telling a person in pain that they should not be upset because there is somebody else who has it worse, is like saying that you are not allowed to be happy because someone else has it better. If the latter was actually preached it would likely be meat with anger and it would not make any sense, so by that logic why do we (generally) have that same attitude toward suffering?