Have you accepted your fate?

[Neverfeltdeader]

Have you accepted that this is the end of the line for you and there's no going back?

I have come to point in my life that no matter what I do, no matter what anyone says, no matter what good happens, I know that this what I'm meant to do. I made a promise to myself ages ago, that if I didn't have my life together before I turn a certain age I would ctb. Before, I always romanticized suicide, thought it was such a poetic way to die, but now I know it's a necessary way to go for me. If I don't kms, I will most likely slowly die from cancer or Parkinson's like my dad did. This is going to make me sound so crazy, but I can feel my body preparing itself to die. Physically, emotionally, mentally, it's all declining. I feel like my soul left ages ago (if there is such a thing). There's nothing that will help me and I'm okay with that. I really am. If only others in my life would accept that this is something that I want. This is the only goal I have now and nothing will save me from reaching that goal (aside from SI/procrastinating/being a coward). I think the scariest thing about suicide to me is knowing that I will go through with it one day. It's just a matter of time. Also, is it crazy that I have a list of things to do before I go and one of the things on that list is to befriend someone that's just as suicidal as I am?

Blah blah blah.

 

[Forever Sleep]

I don't see it as my fate. I'm not sure I entirely believe in fate for one. But no- suicide is a choice I feel I have the right to make. I could make other choices.

I suspect more my actual fate as life has set up for me to date is to struggle on into old age with not enough money to retire on, deteriorating health while having to keep working, alone and completely confused as to why I'm still living and suffering. I'd prefer to rescue myself because I believe my fate is going to be worse than death!

 

[Aim]

I have accepted that i am ill and that I am never going to get better, but accepting that i will never see my sisters and friends, is unbearable and a sadness that doesn't seem to go away. Living on the good memories right now, that has actually also just turned into sadness. Oh well

 

[breezeboy]

I relate to this entirely apart from the pending illness. I'm really sorry to hear about that.

But yes I've accepted it's over for me. I don't know if I would call it fate but I can definitely go back through my life and pinpoint moments that have led me to this point. Even if certain things had been different I'm positive I would have found a way to mess it up like I always do.

My whole life I've just been a problem. No one has ever benefited from knowing me. I simply don't belong and I never will. I'm done and nothing can save me.

 

[UKscotty]

I don't think anyone can truly accept it until the point of CTB. Until there, there must be some hope, no matter how small or we wouldn't be here.

 

[FuneralCry]

In my case I see ceasing to exist as a positive thing as it's the permanent end to all suffering, the non-existent don't have any need for anything and they are at peace, free from the futile burden of existing as a human. And I don't see how death is something one needs to accept as we are all going to die anyway regardless of one's feelings about it, I find comfort in the thought of this existence eternally disappearing.

 

[Neverfeltdeader]

I have accepted that i am ill and that I am never going to get better, but accepting that i will never see my sisters and friends, is unbearable and a sadness that doesn't seem to go away.

I know. That's the one thing that kills me. The fact that I have to leave people/pets behind who I love so much.

 

[Aim]

I think the only thing that is helpful in this. Is that when we are gone. There will be no more sadness to it. So maybe this grief for many of us is just a natural part of the whole process.

 

[Slow_Farewell]

Same with @Forever Sleep . Fate usually implies it's predetermined and inescapable. Death fits that. We're all going to die, sooner or later. That is fate.
Regarding your question about accepting this is the end of the line for me, yeah. If things change, I MIGHT add a couple of things more on the to do list before I CTB, but..i'm still CTB'ing. Not going to wait for death to come, i'll just meet him/her/it halfway.

 

[DEATH IS FREEDOM]

I can´t go on living with my health problems until I die of old age. I understand that. With today´s average life expectancy, death can be delayed at least 30 years. It will be too long to wait out death. I have to die by suicide. But the survival instinct is like an evil monster. It is terrible that euthanasia is not a human right for all people in all countries.

 

[MyLuckyStars]

at times, but it doesnt last. i cant accept that it ends like this. i feel like there has to be some way to win that i just dont see