Have to postpone my ctb for a couple of days.

[LetzteAusfahrt]

I have always wondered is your avatar actually a picture of you?

Yes, it is.
From 2007

Happy that you can stay for a bit longer, and will also be happy for you when you are finally free.
I certainly won't forget you.
I hope to join you soon.

That's nice of you, but you too will soon have forgotten me. That's the way time goes.

But I'll somehow bribe the manager on the other side to let me know when you get there. So that I can pick you up and show you everything.

 

[CarbonMonoxide]

It is my own wish to postpone my ctb so that I can give something back to the users here.

Kudos, @LetzteAusfahrt. It's truly a great thing to find a person willing to give to others even in their last breath. I've been inspired by your attitude. All users on here will agree that we benefit a lot from the existence of this forum. Now, I too will try to give something back to ss when my time comes. Your efforts are appreciated.

 

[watsonsmith]

I am relatively new to the forum (including the 2 months lurking period), but from the beginning I was saddened by the fact you will be gone in September. It feels to me like you are one of the focal points of this community and you will be missed. For some reason your avatar, name and of course your kind and thought-out posts made me feel less alone and melancholic in this good sense of the word.

I wish you find peace, and again, you will be missed.

 

[LetzteAusfahrt]

Kudos, @LetzteAusfahrt. It's truly a great thing to find a person willing to give to others even in their last breath. I've been inspired by your attitude. All users on here will agree that we benefit a lot from the existence of this forum. Now, I too will try to give something back to ss when my time comes. Your efforts are appreciated.

Too much of the honor, too much of the advance laurels.

Thank you very much, that means a lot to me. And I'm happy when I was able to inspire you.

It's a shame I can't implement my plan on Sunday and have to improvise a bit now. But I think I'll be able to convey the most important things anyway.

I am relatively new to the forum (including the 2 months lurking period), but from the beginning I was saddened by the fact you will be gone in September. It feels to me like you are one of the focal points of this community and you will be missed. For some reason your avatar, name and of course your kind and thought-out posts made me feel less alone and melancholic in this good sense of the word.

I wish you find peace, and again, you will be missed.

Then we are here in the forum for about the same time, I registered immediately after I found the forum.

What a shame, I wasted too much time in pro-life self-help forums, in which I was always soon banned anyway.

I am very honored that I can make you feel better. This is what we are here for, we the SS family.

I might like to leave a good impression in the forum, but I will no longer become a focus. Especially because this focus is already occupied by Stan and will probably stay as long as you can buy SN.

But I understand what you mean and thank you very much for your kind words

 

[Myforevercharlie]

I just came by to give you a big when you leave,go with peace in your heart.

 

[sadworld]

I enjoy reading through your posts and i'm sad to see you go soon, i hope you will find peace

 

[CarbonMonoxide]

Too much of the honor, too much of the advance laurels.

It's a major step for you. Sorry I got carried away.

 

[clayp]

Just got my sn today. Safely stored. Dunno what to do with it still.

 

[Matthias_k]

Yes, it is.
From 2007

You look like Rutger Hauer ? Rutger loved switzerland, he had a child with a Swiss woman. Ayesha Hauer lives in Basel...Coincidence ?

 

[TheQ22]

You look like Rutger Hauer ? Rutger loved switzerland, he had a child with a Swiss woman. Ayesha Hauer lives in Basel...Coincidence ?

View attachment 45435

Oh my God - Letzte is Rutger Hauers secret love child (or brother).

 

[LetzteAusfahrt]

I just came by to give you a big when you leave,go with peace in your heart.

Many thanks.

My heart is not big enough to take in all the peace that I will have with me

I enjoy reading through your posts and i'm sad to see you go soon, i hope you will find peace

Thanks for the appreciation.

You don't have to be sad, I've already found peace.

On the other side, I will light a light for you. So that you can find peace too

It's a major step for you. Sorry I got carried away.

No problem, you are welcome to repeat that. It felt very good.

It's just that I'm not the first to do this

 

[LetzteAusfahrt]

I never thought that ctb could be so complicated.

I have already postponed 2 times and still don't know if everything is sorted out.

I currently expect the last piece of the puzzle to fit in tomorrow at noon. If not, then I feel a bit stupid.
Keeping promises and deadlines has been very important all my life.

And now, on my most important appointment, I was too sloppy and hasty.

I know it sounds absurd, but it really stresses me that I somehow "disappointed" you. After all, I have always absolutely written about my impending death. Made promises how perfectly everything is organized to document my death.

I already realize that it is external influences that have thwarted my plan and are now forcing me to improvise. But it just stresses me out that I planned carelessly..

At least I can be sure that I won't survive this week. I just don't know exactly when I can finally turn my brain off

 

[Deleted member 19654]

Don't stress about disappointing people. No one here is disappointed with you. Sometimes we can plan as much as we want, but we cannot control those external influences. There's nothing wrong making sure that you're ready for it because it's a big decision.

 

[timetofly]

I never thought that ctb could be so complicated.

I feel you.

Man, don't be so harsh on yourself. It's all about you, your perspective of this… life. Don't think too much about others here, your experience is the most important one. If things happen, let them, you know you'll be able to do what you've decided no matter what. The warm embrace of death is there, waiting, while life is throwing in obstacles to no avail.

 

[esse_est_percipi]

I know it sounds absurd, but it really stresses me that I somehow "disappointed" you

There is no disappointment.
Even if you didn't end up ctb'ing at all, that would not be a disappointment.
I just want you to find peace/happiness in whatever form that takes.
No stress, no rush, be comfortable.

 

[voyager]

Thought of this game lately I used to play as a kid in the 90's. There's this cook who perishes in a kichen fire but doesn't know it. Thing is he can't rest because he left the gas on to one of the stoves. Feel like that a lot lately, like there's unfinished business remaining. Insomnia will do that too. Not sure if it's a longing for ctb or a peace of mind to leave everything behind in good order. Maybe we don't have our priorities straight. It's normal and just how our lives work. Just relax and do what you think is right and at your own pace, and don't worry about the dates. No one here is disappointed but instead glad to still have you around.

 

[nerve]

Thank you for thinking so much about us even as you're getting ready to exit

 

[Infinite Conscious]

I guess the problem is securing "the observer", am I wrong?

How is it at all feasible to have a person witness your death and not be held accountable by the law for not trying to prevent that?

I guess you found some legal way around it, but just expecting somebody to accept to witness your suicide and document it is really, well, unusual, even creepy.

I really wish you the best, including your plan to come to fruition.

 

[Ghost2211]

It makes me sad to think it would cause you distress at disappointing us for you to postpone or stay alive. I would never want any member to die, and there is no expectation or anticipation of anyone's death. I'm sorry this has been not going at the timeline you desire, and that it's causing you stress. It is good to see you another day.

 

[bigdog]

Postpone it even further. It was pleasure interacting with you

 

[Lostandlooking]

How is it at all feasible to have a person witness your death and not be held accountable by the law for not trying to prevent that?

I guess you found some legal way around it, but just expecting somebody to accept to witness your suicide and document it is really, well, unusual, even creepy.

I don't think it's creepy. And I don't think it's weird to want to have someone present or even document it. Just my opinion.

You can sign documents stating this was your own choice and no-one influenced your decision or aided you in executing your suicide. Maybe a good thing to do even if you decide to do it by yourself. Whether this is legal or not will depend on the country you're in. I know how such a document would be called in my language but I don't know if there's even a concept for something like that in English. Anyway, I expect that @LetzteAusfahrt has taken this into consideration.

And by the way, no stress about expectations.This is not something where you have to take expectations into account. It's all about you @LetzteAusfahrt.

 

[Myforevercharlie]

No disappointment, never, this is about you being comfortable with your choice. I wish you love and peace no matter what.

 

[Infinite Conscious]

I don't think it's creepy. And I don't think it's weird to want to have someone present or even document it. Just my opinion.

You can sign documents stating this was your own choice and no-one influenced your decision or aided you in executing your suicide. Maybe a good thing to do even if you decide to do it by yourself. Whether this is legal or not will depend on the country you're in. I know how such a document would be called in my language but I don't know if there's even a concept for something like that in English. Anyway, I expect that @LetzteAusfahrt has taken this into consideration.

And by the way, no stress about expectations.This is not something where you have to take expectations into account. It's all about you @LetzteAusfahrt.

Yes, I imagined TheLastExit (in German) would write a letter in which he absolves the potential observer from any responsibility.
But I also understand how difficult it may be to find such a person willing to witness another's suicide.
Even if you pay him well (and I somehow think Letzte is expecting the observer to participate for a "scientific bliss"), it is hard to find a serious and reliable person who can be trusted not to back out at some point.
It is a difficult task, no wonder he is having problems securing an observer and a partner (if both are still part of the plan).

I also get how our friend is a perfectionist and wants to provide some purpose to his departure, but in all honesty - what novel information, not already known, can be provided from documenting the process of dying from SN?
We have photos, we have testimonies up to the point of losing consciousness, even if there is an observer - he cannot feel or see what a dying person is going through on the inside.
Yes, the idea and the plan are noble, and I really wish Letzte gets his last wish granted... but I think his last bits of consciousness at that moment of departure will be overwhelmed by the realization that his soul is not fading into nothingness, as he thought it would, but rather... feeling the effects of his brain secreting DMT, meeting with angelical entities and some long gone relatives, having to go through the retrospective of his life and the terms of his final act...

Just kidding.
Too bad Letzte won't be able to let us know what we all wish to know the most... the eternal question - is it nothingness, or... a new cycle?
He will find out at last... while we'll still be in the dark, with only his earthly opinion available to us in his thread "don't be afraid of death".

Do not go gentle into that good night... old age should rave and burn at close of day... rage, rage against the dying of the light.

 

[LetzteAusfahrt]

The warm embrace of death is there, waiting, while life is throwing in obstacles to no avail.

I am absolutely delighted!

A description of the processes that I couldn't have formulated better myself.

I thank you so much

Don't stress about disappointing people. No one here is disappointed with you. Sometimes we can plan as much as we want, but we cannot control those external influences. There's nothing wrong making sure that you're ready for it because it's a big decision.

I myself have been ready for a long time, more than ready.

In terms of data technology, I have already done ctb. There are no more documents from me, nothing at all.

Paper and electronic, IDs and cards, contracts and invoices,.....
Everything destroyed or deleted. It's about time I followed my data.