So, I have this bad dream that I finally get this drug will kill me quickly too but I wait a while so I can clear out computer and remove all traces of communication with ctb and sources etc and when I am doing this I have attack can't breathe and can't get off chair to get to my medicine and next to my emergency inhaler is that drug that can kill me but instead I am too weak to make it across the room to get to it. I die suffocating in my chair. I hope this never happens but I am with fatal disease so it could. Do you have any like that? Makes me not want to take chance and wait but I have some time and try to do some things before leaving. Stupid but somehow I want to leave knowing I did something good here before I left. I teach. I am a Sign Language Teacher. Soon classes over and then.... Will see. Wish you all very best journey to your destiny and it is full of , Peace.
dimstar
Poor little woodpecker
- Mar 17, 2023
- 320
Since I've gotten more serious about the idea of it and obtained everything I've been dreaming alot more. One reoccurring theme has been a feeling of being drugged, losing consciousness/ control of my body. Never had a dream where I felt drugged before, I have had sleep paralysis dreams but this is diffrent. Seems like a similar feeling to your dream tho I'm never ctb in those dreams.
No, no dreams about CTB' ing, but plenty of other kind of nightmares every night
No, thankfully I either don't have dreams or don't remember them. It's all just blackness.
sulli
Student
- Jan 25, 2023
- 197
i certainly used to, prazosin has managed to quiet my deranged dreams for the most part though it sometimes wears off before i wake up
Saudade
Longing for a person that is absent
- May 1, 2023
- 24
I attempted last October, and since then I have been having nightmares about having to kill mysef. My attempt was impulsive and not well thought out. I was losing my best friend, he didn't want me anymore... And so, I just though what else was left for me in this world? Who else would ever care about me? Now in my nightmares I have this feeling that I HAVE to kill myself. I see myself bleed out or suffocate. I also expereinced sexual abuse throughout my childhood, so I also get nighmares about that. A recent nightmare combined both, I had to either kms or live through another sexual assault.
Duochrome-Seahorse
Some Person Who's Epic and Cool
- Feb 23, 2023
- 65
I keep having some nightmares of CTBing and it actually has this weird feeling when I wake up. it's always getting my head absolutely crushed by a train. the thought of returning to nothingness kinda stopped being scary, but the pain? the pain that I'm going to feel if I do it, haunts me almost every night. there's rarely any painless ways in dying, almost all of them are going to be painful, unless I'm lucky enough to pass in my sleep.
I am so sorry that happened to you! Yes PTSD that is one of the things I have. The nightmares are terrible and when you know it is because it really happened to you. Sexual abuse should NEVER happen to anyone period! I know and understand your bad dreams. I hope you will find the Peace you deserve and these dreams end. Peace.
Yeah I tried so hard to find something Painless. I pretty much gave up that and just try to go quickly as possible so pain not last long. Really bad dream you have too. Wish you Peace too.
Wow yeah losing control of body and being drugged. That scary bad dream also. Esp. when you can feel it is dif. from sleep paralysis dreams. We are similar. Wishing you better dreams and most of all you find the Peace you should have. Peace.
Last edited:
