I think some people (laymen) done that with me. The friend of my mom called me borderliner for a long time which is completely ridiculous. This does not fit to me at all. To that time I was very suicidal and talked a lot about suicide this is why he called me borderline. I was young and had no idea of my own pathology. When I told that my psychiatrist she said this diagnosis is out of question for me and called it kitchen sink psychology.
Moreover my dad often gives me advices. I mean he is one of the most ignorant and stupid people I personally know. He is anti-self-aware. He does not understand the concept of mania despite the fact I repeated it more than 30 times also in easy terms./language He searches for stupid answers why I am this ill. Most often they are answers which free him of a guilty conscience. And he is not to any degree aware that he does exactly that. He searches comfortable answers which help him to feel better. Also when they are extremely naive and don't reflect the reality of this family. Honestly I am doig somewhat kitchen sink psychology now when I think of it but I am doing a better job than him. I read at least some serious literature and my therapists often agreed with my explanations and called me very reflective etc. My dad also questions what the professionals say. Especially when these truths could be negative for him. He is really affected by the Dunnning Kruger effect. A very long time he did not believe I had psychosis. He often told me I am just saying it because I read wrong stuff on the internet and it would be just my fantasy. When he saw my sister during her first psychosis he finally believed it. But holy shit he did not believe in it for roundabout 5 years. He is such a fucking moron.
I confronted him with a lot of shit in the past. He forgets it almost everything (okay sometimes I think really 100% of it) after some days/weeks. I am genuinely asking myself how he can work with this kind of brain. For me it would have been so much better if he never had the ability to work. In this case I would have never come into existence.
My dad is one of the few people I don't care about whether they consider me smart. He often told me I was not that smart. I don't really care about it. My dad is such a fucking idiot. Though on some points I have to say he surprised me. For example his stance on circumcision is a good and reflective one. I realize it is diffiult for me to find another good one. Instead I thought of 30 other examples which are completely ignorant and stupid. I mean what do you expect of people who abuse their children and ruin their lives.
I wish I could share more interesting stories to the topic. I think I am quite good at analyzing myself. Many professionals praised me for it and often just repeated what I said/explained. That was probably not always good. I don't really understand why other people don't have such an access to their own emotional processes. Though maybe I am only deluded biased because of a tendency to over-analyze situations. I mean I should hope for that because I predict my own suicide in the coming years. Not sure when exactly but my problems don't really seem to be solvable. I think many humans have the tendeny to create a certain narration about their own life. And they have the bias to retrospectively explain the things as it would have been deterministic and it had to become exactly like that. However I am a layman and no expert on the topic but I think I read that. I think one should always be to a certain degree agnostic and question one's own beliefs. Life is extremely complicated and predictions are also extremely difficult. I think ambiguity is something I struggle to tolerate. I am a control freak. But I think now in the end of the thread I done a lot of kitchen sink psychology myself ironically.
Moreover my dad often gives me advices. I mean he is one of the most ignorant and stupid people I personally know. He is anti-self-aware. He does not understand the concept of mania despite the fact I repeated it more than 30 times also in easy terms./language He searches for stupid answers why I am this ill. Most often they are answers which free him of a guilty conscience. And he is not to any degree aware that he does exactly that. He searches comfortable answers which help him to feel better. Also when they are extremely naive and don't reflect the reality of this family. Honestly I am doig somewhat kitchen sink psychology now when I think of it but I am doing a better job than him. I read at least some serious literature and my therapists often agreed with my explanations and called me very reflective etc. My dad also questions what the professionals say. Especially when these truths could be negative for him. He is really affected by the Dunnning Kruger effect. A very long time he did not believe I had psychosis. He often told me I am just saying it because I read wrong stuff on the internet and it would be just my fantasy. When he saw my sister during her first psychosis he finally believed it. But holy shit he did not believe in it for roundabout 5 years. He is such a fucking moron.
I confronted him with a lot of shit in the past. He forgets it almost everything (okay sometimes I think really 100% of it) after some days/weeks. I am genuinely asking myself how he can work with this kind of brain. For me it would have been so much better if he never had the ability to work. In this case I would have never come into existence.
My dad is one of the few people I don't care about whether they consider me smart. He often told me I was not that smart. I don't really care about it. My dad is such a fucking idiot. Though on some points I have to say he surprised me. For example his stance on circumcision is a good and reflective one. I realize it is diffiult for me to find another good one. Instead I thought of 30 other examples which are completely ignorant and stupid. I mean what do you expect of people who abuse their children and ruin their lives.
I wish I could share more interesting stories to the topic. I think I am quite good at analyzing myself. Many professionals praised me for it and often just repeated what I said/explained. That was probably not always good. I don't really understand why other people don't have such an access to their own emotional processes. Though maybe I am only deluded biased because of a tendency to over-analyze situations. I mean I should hope for that because I predict my own suicide in the coming years. Not sure when exactly but my problems don't really seem to be solvable. I think many humans have the tendeny to create a certain narration about their own life. And they have the bias to retrospectively explain the things as it would have been deterministic and it had to become exactly like that. However I am a layman and no expert on the topic but I think I read that. I think one should always be to a certain degree agnostic and question one's own beliefs. Life is extremely complicated and predictions are also extremely difficult. I think ambiguity is something I struggle to tolerate. I am a control freak. But I think now in the end of the thread I done a lot of kitchen sink psychology myself ironically.
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