Help Have I got the right to ask?

[Need2BFree]

Hi! Another day of this torment of really wanting to end my life. I'm hurting I hate this depression because it makes me irritable, agitated, intolerant, moody, I'm scared as I don't want to snap at anyone. Luckily I live alone with my dog so no one has to put up with me. I will never hurt my dog but I feel easily annoyed by him. Please don't judge me please I beg you. Sorry for sounding like a broken record everyday I am having suicidal thoughts where they aren't just thoughts they are strong strong urges. Each day the time is coming closer. These people (not you all) but these people who is against suicide they have no idea. What it is like to fight against the strong urge and to prolong the endless suffering.

I don't know if I've got the right to ask! It's not I dont believe in God I'm on the fence. But what I'm trying to ask I feel I haven't got the right. May I ask for forgiveness May I repent against my sins. Will God forgive me for all that I am and all that I am not. I don't want to go to hell, I would like to be free from suffering be free from me, from this illness.
My precious dog he deserves so much better, this isn't fair on him.

 

[jodes2]

Sorry you're suffering

 

[Forever Sleep]

Sorry you are in such a dark place. I'm similar to you- on the fence about the existence of God/ heaven/ hell.

What I would say though- is recognising that you want and need forgiveness means that you recognise you have made some mistakes in life and that you feel repentant for them- which- as I understand it- is the major prerequisite in being forgiven.

Also- it's kind of natural to feel irritated by things- even your dog. Especially if you are in a bad way emotionally. It's only bad if you act out and hurt him- which you've said you'll never do- so I think you're ok there.

 

[Need2BFree]

Sorry you are in such a dark place. I'm similar to you- on the fence about the existence of God/ heaven/ hell.

What I would say though- is recognising that you want and need forgiveness means that you recognise you have made some mistakes in life and that you feel repentant for them- which- as I understand it- is the major prerequisite in being forgiven.

Also- it's kind of natural to feel irritated by things- even your dog. Especially if you are in a bad way emotionally. It's only bad if you act out and hurt him- which you've said you'll never do- so I think you're ok there.

It's my depression that makes me feel irritable and intolerant all of the timen it never leaves. Makes me feel hypersensitive I could just stand up and this irritable feeling goes to the next level. I would never hurt my dog, as I wouldn't lay a hand on him.


I understand I deserve to be punished made a few bad choices in my life.
I know it's not possible but if I could turn back time. I would have done things differently, been a better person. I was stupid ignorant insecure but im not going to try to justify things, as wrong is wrong!

Thank you for hearing me out

 

[Forever Sleep]

It's my depression that makes me feel irritable and intolerant all of the timen it never leaves. Makes me feel hypersensitive I could just stand up and this irritable feeling goes to the next level. I would never hurt my dog, as I wouldn't lay a hand on him.


I understand I deserve to be punished made a few bad choices in my life.
I know it's not possible but if I could turn back time. I would have done things differently, been a better person. I was stupid ignorant insecure but im not going to try to justify things, as wrong is wrong!

Thank you for hearing me out

Well, I'd forgive you hearing that. ❤

 

[Need2BFree]

Well, I'd forgive you hearing that. ❤

Thank you it really means alot bless you ❤

 

[FuneralCry]

There is no point to worrying about the possibility of their being a hell after this. Hell is this life, and death is true peace and freedom from all suffering. I hope that you find what you wish for as existing can certainly be painful and it can be torture being trapped here day after day in a life that you wish to leave behind. Those who are against suicide in a world like this are insane to me.

 

[NeverReallyHere]

If there is a God, then he created you - "sinfulness," illness, suicidality and all - and is therefore responsible for all your suffering. He should be asking for your forgiveness, not you his.