Discussion Have dating apps contributed to you being here?

[BluesRunTheGame]

For me, yes to an extent. I think it's harder to be a man because you get so few matches you have zero realistic choice, though I get it would be hard for women in other ways (too much choice, people pestering you, etc.)

Thoughts?

 

[Anonymoususer1234]

Not personally. Because of my particular flavor of queer I don't have much interest in dating apps (or even traditional dating at all, really).

But it's easy to see how someone could be affected by them.

From an outsider's perspective it all seems very dehumanizing. Especially the part where you judge and are judged without ever having a single conversation with anyone.

Part of me wonders if it's designed to be upsetting on purpose.

 

[BluesRunTheGame]

Not personally. Because of my particular flavor of queer I don't have much interest in dating apps (or even traditional dating at all, really).

But it's easy to see how someone could be affected by them.

From an outsider's perspective it all seems very dehumanizing. Especially the part where you judge and are judged without ever having a single conversation with anyone.

Part of me wonders if it's designed to be upsetting on purpose.

Is it easier to be queer than straight in this day and age do you think?

 

[Ludivinicus]

Nah, I already knew what was in dating apps, I've tried them before and it only confirmed that I'm uglier than hitting a parent, I only get matched with people who are very ugly or overweight. I guess you could say that only people at my level match with me.

 

[Werewolf]

Not at all as I've never used one. But the entire concept is not appealing to me and probably not to anyone else that I would actually have any interest in.
And for the being a man part, it's like walking into a bar with 100 guys and 5 women you do the math.

I've had quite a few partners throughout the years and ALL of them I've met through mutual friends, shared interest or common interaction either in real life or online. Dating-services do work for some sure, but I think you should remember at the end of the day they exist just to take your money.

 

[BluesRunTheGame]

Not at all as I've never used one. But the entire concept is not appealing to me and probably not to anyone else that I would actually have any interest in.
And for the being a man part, it's like walking into a bar with 100 guys and 5 women you do the math.

I've had quite a few partners throughout the years and ALL of them I've met through mutual friends, shared interest or common interaction either in real life or online. Dating-services do work for some sure, but I think you should remember at the end of the day they exist just to take your money.

That's a good point about walking into a bar. Otherwise man you don't know how blessed you got with normie life.

But don't get me wrong, mental illnesses are why I'm mostly here but if I could have ever just got girlfriends casually I dunno, man. Life could've been easier, I think.

 

[Stripe19]

Is it easier to be queer than straight in this day and age do you think?

nope. You might think "oh but pride parades and more options right?" but no. You risk your safety by being in public, more so based on clothing and where you are, but almost literally anywhere another human being is, you might just get attacked. More commonly by far though is being harassed and verbally harassed. As for the more options, no. very similar issues just different context details. People bein judged off like 1 one thing, people who want hook ups but even then only want a super specific super attractive person.


And for the actual OG question, dating apps vs real life id rather real life, although not much longtime success either way.

 

[BluesRunTheGame]

nope. You might think "oh but pride parades and more options right?" but no. You risk your safety by being in public, more so based on clothing and where you are, but almost literally anywhere another human being is, you might just get attacked. More commonly by far though is being harassed and verbally harassed. As for the more options, no. very similar issues just different context details. People bein judged off like 1 one thing, people who want hook ups but even then only want a super specific super attractive person.


And for the actual OG question, dating apps vs real life id rather real life, although not much longtime success either way.

I think it's only really easy for good-looking straight people (who don't know what they've got), to be honest.

 

[loser098]

Nope! I know better than to signup for that nonsense. No point if you're not at least mildly attractive. I have zero appeal and I look like a child. The thought of women swiping past my photos and snickering at my genetic failure is terrifying. Worse, if you're ugly enough she may post you on social media/show her friends and mock you for having the audacity to exist. I've seen it before. Rough shit.

Plus, knowing that you're quite literally in competition with potentially hundreds of men for just one woman…I'm not sure how to describe the feeling of that. It's nothing short of hopeless. You're not going to be her priority if you're not handsome.

Some women only use those places for validation, and have no intentions of actually meeting up for a date; they just want free compliments. I've known some women to use dating apps for bumming free meals. It's more common than you think.

I get it would be hard for women in other ways (too much choice, people pestering you, etc.)

Thoughts?

Too much choice isn't a bad thing in this case, nor is being pestered. These things are actually ego boosters/drugs for women, trust me.

Guys'll cope with their lack of matches by saying I'm shadowbanned or I'm just not using the right pictures, while that couldn't be more false. You just aren't making the cut. You aren't meeting the looks threshold, and everyone will dance around that fact when you ask for advice. You're not one witty bio or dog picture away from dating success lol

Watch videos of women using dating apps, then watch videos of attractive guys using dating apps, massive difference from the average guy. As an attractive dude, you're getting loads of matches, but as a woman? You're getting hundreds, even thousands over time. You don't even have to be hot.

Better yet, watch Tinder experiment videos if you haven't already. Very eye-opening stuff.

What I'm trying to say, OP, is that you shouldn't feel too bad. The cards are really stacked against you on dating apps. That doesn't mean you shouldn't try per se, but really lower your expectations so you don't question your self-worth when you get few matches.

Someone here said IRL is much better and I'd have to agree. I don't know anything about IRL interactions and dating, as I've only found (limited) success with terminally online people such as myself. But it makes sense, meeting through hobbies, bars, etc. will probably work best for you. Good luck!

 

[UKscotty]

Dating apps are mostly a scam to rinse people of money.

Even Grindr for the gays is all about money now days.

Get out into the real world and stop treating each other like an eBay purchase.

Both sexes have lost skills in engaging with each other.

 

[RuntimeError]

It just makes me feel even more that I don't belong

 

[penguinl0v3s]

I hit it off with the first person I matched with and now we're exclusive! I set the filter to women only and didn't get many matches, but it's good that it's not overwhelming. Focus on like 1-3 people at a time. If things don't work after first date, then swipe later.

They don't know I love my dead recovery buddy though and neither did I until things got more serious I keep creating issues for myself by not being able to be emotionally attached to anyone, but when I do it's the wrong person.

If you don't get matches in dating apps it doesn't mean you won't hit it off with someone in real life. The gender ratio is like 80-20 on dating apps.

 

[greebo6]

I know am too ugly and too much of a failure to have anyone ever be romantically interested in me. I have to be alone sadly.
So I never even try dating apps.

But just as a general observation ,the whole dating thing looks potentially tricky and difficult even for those who who look okay and function well.

 

[leavingthesoultrap]

Yeah a certain dating site. The person from there has ruined my life. I wish I was born asexual

 

[MatrixPrisoner]

Just so you know, dating apps designed to make the females feel scarce and make males feel like animals scrapping for their lives. It's business model depends on it.

 

[eppell]

Actually yes, but for other reason. As a Japanese woman in South America, I get a lot of matches, but it starts to feel weird when talking to a lot of different people (not all at once) and not feeling any connection. I made a few friends, but that's it.
All I wanted for life was to live a life as a couple, with someone I loved and trusted. So it's pretty despairing realizing maybe there's no one out there who can make me fall in love with.

 

[blacksand]

Nope in fact social media is one of the only ways I interact with women these days. I talk to girls on Instagram. I grew up in the 2000s and never noticed it was easier to get laid back then.

 

[BluesRunTheGame]

As a Japanese woman in South America, I get a lot of matches

This is it. This is dating life on tutorial mode.

 

[hermestrimegistus]

Dating apps suck. Only works for the conventionally attractive, shallow, personality-lacking people for the most part. Doesn't work if you're ugly. Unless you're setting the bar super low and just looking to be a cum receptacle. God forbid you actually want to get to know someone past their personal virtual elevator pitch. So fucking stupid. I may be desperate but not enough to go on one. Fucking hell

 

[tiger b]

I actually thought they were pretty ok, I actually had good experiences - but that was many years ago when most people actually wanted to date and now I hear different things, people playing games or after self-validation. Or scamming from Lagos.

So, what I knew about it all and how I conducted myself actually might cause different results nowadays. It's always involved rolling dice, but now the dice seem to be increasingly loaded - from what I hear. It's a business designed to make the most profit, not the most happiness. It's not something I intend to revisit again.

 

[BluesRunTheGame]

I actually thought they were pretty ok, I actually had good experiences - but that was many years ago when most people actually wanted to date and now I hear different things, people playing games or after self-validation. Or scamming from Lagos.

So, what I knew about it all and how I conducted myself actually might cause different results nowadays. It's always involved rolling dice, but now the dice seem to be increasingly loaded - from what I hear. It's a business designed to make the most profit, not the most happiness. It's not something I intend to revisit again.

It's a capitalist app in a capitalist world, alas.

 

[WonderingSoul]

Never even tried one yet, so no.

gender ratio

What is a gender ratio ?