Venting Have a date set

[FarSquid]

May 30th, 2022. On or by that day, I will finally be free from this living hell. It's the only thing keeping me going at this point, which is fucked up if I think about it so I don't. Everything keeps getting worse, forever and always, and there is no other escape. The only thing I'm worried about is minimizing any effects on a few friends and my roommate - planning to find a nice secluded place so roomie doesn't have to worry about any mess. Friends will get a letter/email I suppose, something as heartfelt as I can manage.

It's always in my thoughts, that date of final salvation from this torture. Every night as I struggle to fall asleep, I solidify my plans a bit more. Everything is ready for the day I choose, thank fuck. I'm very tempted to leave a detailed note, telling everyone who might care just how fucked up my entire life has been for so long. Not that anyone wants to read it, of course. But getting that out might make me feel a bit better, semi-memorialized in death, if not in life. Sometimes all I can feel is anger, at everyone who never cared enough to leave a child alone and lives a happy life while I live in the turmoil their actions left behind.

May 30th can't come quickly enough.

 

[locked*n*loaded]

I'm very tempted to leave a detailed note, telling everyone who might care just how fucked up my entire life has been for so long.

I'm not in your shoes, but I see absolutely nothing wrong with giving an explanation and information, whether anyone actually cares or not (that might just be your perception playing tricks on you). Personally, I'd make it matter of fact and leave the blame out if possible, unless it's really called for because of someone's egregious act towards you.

 

[FuneralCry]

This life really is so awful and depressing, I know that it is unbearable when you are suffering so much. I understand that it is so dreadful when things just get worse. I hope you find relief from your pain in whatever happens.