Discussion hatred and rage

[PSYCHO_METAL_X]

Thinking about S usually comes after obsessing over everything and everyone who's hurt me and gotten away with it. It's so intense it gives me headaches.

Does anyone else feel this way? And if you do does thinking about hurting them even worse help?

Cannot be the only one

 

[LONE WOLF.]

I Despise my adoptive parents with a passion, the years of emotional abuse they put me through for 15-years was Hell on Earth, But l have a long memory and will Never forget, and am Not done with the Bastard's yet! Just waiting for my dog to pass(another 5 year or so) then l'm going on a long one way trip up north to Punish the Guilty!

 

[PSYCHO_METAL_X]

I Despise my adoptive parents with a passion, the years of emotional abuse they put me through for 15-years was Hell on Earth, But l have a long memory and will Never forget, and am Not done with the Bastard's yet! Just waiting for my dog to pass(another 5 year or so) then l'm going on a long one way trip up north to Punish the Guilty!

Dont wanna encourage anyone to do anything but it does help knowing I'm not alone with these feelings.

Were just built different vro

 

[Ramirez]

I'm very angry and vindictive ALOT too. Especially about my family. I do want especially my mother to feel my suicide :/. Not gonna lie.

 

[blvck]

i was just about to make a thread haha
But yea, it makes me mad when people go out of their way to discredit whatever I say. Like, just read , disagree, and move on. There's no need to tell me why you disagree and then insult me. I get you (not you, OP, someone else), don't believe in God, but there's no need to discredit or invalidate MY beliefs aka the only thing that's keeping me here right now. Anytime your opinions differ from popular opinion people take that as an ok to attack you. Its so annoying. I'm not doing that to you, so don't do it to me.

sorry for the rant but i had to get it out.

 

[motel rooms]

Thinking about S usually comes after obsessing over everything and everyone who's hurt me and gotten away with it. It's so intense it gives me headaches.

Does anyone else feel this way? And if you do does thinking about hurting them even worse help?

Cannot be the only one

Thinking about the people who've hurt me feels like banging my head against the fucking wall, so I try not to do it. They haunt me in nightmares though

I get you (not you, OP, someone else), don't believe in God, but there's no need to discredit or invalidate MY beliefs aka the only thing that's keeping me here right now.

People don't do that because they have a problem with you personally; the concept of a loving & just God just doesn't sit well with many of us who have been treated like shit by this world for no good reason

 

[PSYCHO_METAL_X]

Thinking about the people who've hurt me feels like banging my head against the fucking wall, so I try not to do it. They haunt me in nightmares though

People don't do that because they have a problem with you personally; the concept of a loving & just God just doesn't sit well with many of us who have been treated like shit by this world for no good reason

Its like Invasive thoughts though. I start obsessing over it and it spirals from there. The pills I'm on actually let me put it down when I want to tho if I didnt have these then idk dude I'd be outta here.

 

[motel rooms]

Its like Invasive thoughts though. I start obsessing over it and it spirals from there. The pills I'm on actually let me put it down when I want to tho if I didnt have these then idk dude I'd be outta here.

Xanax is the only reason I'm still alive

 

[TooConscious]

I am full of resentment.
Everyone in a position of power over me has always destroyed me to elevate themselves.
And we get blamed for being gloomy and shit... As if we're supposed to have any good thoughts after being treated badly and even evil by everyone around us.
People have the cheek to say to me "well it's not societies fault you fell through the net and you should see how many people help so many others"

That might be the case but the suffering still exists and we only know OUR lives I am not experiencing the empathy they get but I sure experienced the hatred.
I despise people for what they fdid to me, but there is nothing you can do.
We cannot get back at everyone who committed evil on us. This game is rigged so we are powerless. Even if I could hurt them like they have me it wouldn't even scratch the surface of my pain. You're talking apocalypse to get anywhere near that.

Hatred is rubbish just like everything else unless you're a sociopath like most the average people walking around.

 

[PlushieLover]

Yeah, I wish I could destroy everyone who had ever hurt me. It also gives me headaches everytime. But there is nothing I can do unfortunately, just cry and sleep.

 

[sadbadpsychogirl]

i'm too old and tired to be filled with rage. i just want to move on from here peacefully

 

[FuneralCry]

I used to be like that as a teenager. That was when I was in school and was forced to be around many awful people and I used to have strong feelings of hatred then. I have always struggled with an overactive mind. I understand how it can be an motivation to ctb as we feel trapped by strong emotions. However now my main reasons to ctb are based on myself rather than others and I feel so devoid of emotion in comparison to what I used to be like.

 

[Susan472]

I tried fighting back against those bullying me and made a threat to kill the one woman who said "Go on then" so I threw another rock from my rockery in her general direction, which she dodged. The first one hit her kitchen window and broke it - it was meant to hit the bedroom window to prove the presence of a hidden video camera focused on my kitchen window. Later on they put this camera in full view in the window!

Imagine knowing there was a hidden camera filming our every move every time you went to the fking fridge and the thought
the feed was probably being shared with other neighbours for their entertainment

I ended up in a police custody cell overhearing police being abusive about me too!

One police man gallantly said he'd 'have me' and others said 'Eurgh you'd have the freak?!"

this was inbetween mental health people asking if I felt suicidal!

Life is some kind of sick farce!

There's literally no escape from it!

So I can't risk trying to kill one of my abusers, failing and ending up in prison with an even worse level of abuse for a longer period.

But yes, I've fantasised about killing these people many times - how else to relieve the absolute rage I feel towards them for bullying me??

Not long, lingering sadistic stuff just the quick thrust of a knife in the neck or banging their head on the ground endlessly

You have to get it out of your system somehow and these fantasies are a way to release the pressure

Since the custody cell experience though I try not to go there with that kind of thing as I know the reality of the cell experience and trust me you don't want to go
there!

 

[Joplin]

Thinking about S usually comes after obsessing over everything and everyone who's hurt me and gotten away with it. It's so intense it gives me headaches.

Does anyone else feel this way? And if you do does thinking about hurting them even worse help?

Cannot be the only one

It does when you do it with EMDR therapy. You can hurt them in your mind and you really feel like you there!! It's crazy! And yes, I get headaches and my jaw and neck hurt from all the anxiety and teeth grinding from getting really upset about how many hurtful things and abusive things were done to me in the past. It's balls.

I'm very angry and vindictive ALOT too. Especially about my family. I do want especially my mother to feel my suicide :/. Not gonna lie.

It's often the mother's! Feel the same about mine sadly. Happy freaking Mother's Day today. Bleghhhh

 

[WornOutLife]

Yeah, my hatred and resentment used to "consume" me.
Now, I don't waste my time on that anymore. I mean, I just end up feeling worse than before.

I guess that's why I've become such a lonely person. I've justed isolated myself from the world and the only ones I talk to are my dad, dog (great listener), students and you all on SS.

 

[Fish Face]

I just wish those therapists and counsellers would come on this this and then they might begin to understand and do their job.

 

[LONE WOLF.]

Thinking about S usually comes after obsessing over everything and everyone who's hurt me and gotten away with it. It's so intense it gives me headaches.

Does anyone else feel this way? And if you do does thinking about hurting them even worse help?

Cannot be the only one

You're Not the only one @PSYCHO_METAL_X , I'M a walking ticking time bomb,l just hope the time to CTB comes before l explode!

 

[Aonewayticketplease]

Thinking about S usually comes after obsessing over everything and everyone who's hurt me and gotten away with it. It's so intense it gives me headaches.

Does anyone else feel this way? And if you do does thinking about hurting them even worse help?

Cannot be the only one

You're Not the only one @PSYCHO_METAL_X , I'M a walking ticking time bomb,l just hope the time to CTB comes before l explode!

Hurting them does help.

Just lurk around and nail them every chance you get, very rewarding.

 

[lonerclown666]

I feel nothing bur hatred sadness , pain and madness