K-O

K-O

FU(KOFFEE
Apr 16, 2020
1,462
hurts to witness the death rattle of ss and how people within are spreading hate poison.. dont fall for that bs and subtle manipulation!
people who seek power will recruit then always stab you in the back the second you become a potential threat! from victims they become abusers and cause they are broken yet vengeful the only way to gain power is by deceiving! sad and dangerous at the same time.. instead of breaking the pain chain they become soldiers of what broke them..
ffs dont feed the zombie!

night night x
 
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K-O

K-O

FU(KOFFEE
Apr 16, 2020
1,462
It's a time of unrest and your rights are suspended. There's a list going round and it's likely you are on it. The names on the blue list are picked up later And the red list goes to the incinerator. We're never going to end up in the furnace of a FEMA camp, Burning in the fiery furnace of a FEMA camp FEMA camp. There's an Amtrak rail leading to the siding Where a turnstile waits for all those disembarking, Blue zone red zone humanity fades So I'm going to join up with the renegades. We're never going to end up in the furnace of a FEMA camp, Burning in the fiery furnace of a FEMA camp FEMA camp. We're never going to end up in the furnace of a FEMA camp, Burning in the fiery furnace of a FEMA camp FEMA camp FEMA camp.
\m/
 
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GenesAndEnvironment

GenesAndEnvironment

Autistic loser
Jan 26, 2021
5,739
Are you okay?
 
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FU(KOFFEE
Apr 16, 2020
1,462
Are you okay?
hi mate x actually was flirting with the idea of changing my name to O-K recently.. :)
tbh im pretty good yeah, after a wee rock bottom im upped again. hope your ok as well?
 
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GenesAndEnvironment

GenesAndEnvironment

Autistic loser
Jan 26, 2021
5,739
hi mate tbh im pretty good yeah :) after a wee rock bottom im upped again. hope your ok as well?
A bit suicidal, nothing much.
 
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K-O

K-O

FU(KOFFEE
Apr 16, 2020
1,462
A bit suicidal, nothing much.
a bit is healthy :wink:
im still shocked im not suicidal every single moment and excepting this change is both a mind fuck and a 'blessing'?
beggars cant be choosers innit..
x
 
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K-O

K-O

FU(KOFFEE
Apr 16, 2020
1,462

"Feed me just enough that I'll never need a cage
Use your sleight of hand as you redirect my rage
Instinctual offense, trained from an early age
Keep your fucking distance, don't you question what we say"
:tongue:DOWN BOI!
 
S

Symbiote

Global Mod
Oct 12, 2020
3,101


Can't forget Otep.
 
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K-O

FU(KOFFEE
Apr 16, 2020
1,462
love the series Urban myths and in the second season there's a great episode called "Hitler The Artist" about his desperate attempts and failures to be accepted into art school being a mediocre technical painter ..
..well if not an artist, mass murderer it shall be then!


Also love the Chapman bros, one of their projects was to buy his paintings and paint over them, turn a historical document into their art work and by doing so erasing history.. wishful thinking..
"You get your hands on this thing that is like currency of mass genocide.. ..the idea of Hitler turning in his grave because we painted rainbows on his pictures is just fantastically pleasurable.. using My Little Pony to kick Adolf Hitler is entirely appropriate" cheers to that! x
Hc1 Hc2
 
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K-O

FU(KOFFEE
Apr 16, 2020
1,462
I understand his spite in some way.
as do i.. rejection is hard and painful, some experience it as an insult and can break.. some get vengeful and some learn from it and grow..
at the art academy i attended there were yearly suicides from the roof of the building, so after some years they made the professors restrain themselves and be more gentle and less cut throat with their critique.. you really do need a thick skin to become an artist.. it worked, there were no more suicides there.. but tbh the level also went down..
hey you cant fake talent.. or compation.. or having a soul..
art is a form of communication, a reflection of this contemporary life through ones special point of view but it can only work if the observer has free will and interprets it in his own way.. thats how you can learn about yourself through art.. its is open. and essential.
it can also convert pain into love..
you can try and work through hardships and not necessarily succumb to the urge to hurt others.. its called the high road..
i have daily violent thoughts and urges but i try to turn my rage into passion..
 
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Makko

Makko

Iä!
Jan 17, 2021
2,430
as do i.. rejection is hard and painful, some experience it as an insult and can break.. some get vengeful and some learn from it and grow..
at the art academy i attended there were yearly suicides from the roof of the building, so after some years they made the professors restrain themselves and be more gentle and less cut throat with their critique.. you really do need a thick skin to become an artist.. it worked, there were no more suicides there.. but tbh the level also went down..
hey you cant fake talent.. or compation.. or having a soul..
art is a form of communication, a reflection of this contemporary life through ones special point of view but it can only work if the observer has free will and interprets it in his own way.. thats how you can learn about yourself through art.. its is open. and essential.
it can also convert pain into love..
you can try and work through hardships and not necessarily succumb to the urge to hurt others.. its called the high road..
i have daily violent thoughts and urges but i try to turn my rage into passion..
I admire being able to turn pain into something constructive. I've generally been a low road taker in my life and turning pain into various forms of non-physical violence. It's a lot easier and the rewards are more tangible. Maybe I can change as I get older.
 
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K-O

K-O

FU(KOFFEE
Apr 16, 2020
1,462
I admire being able to turn pain into something constructive. I've generally been a low road taker in my life and turning pain into various forms of non-physical violence. It's a lot easier and the rewards are more tangible. Maybe I can change as I get older.
ive changed a lot during my 36 years.. as a child raised in an unstable violent environment governed by a schizophrenic rule i developed borderline personality and soooo much rage! KILLEMALL!!!! internalized pain anger hate hurt and all my energy went into building my shield.. my fuel was rage and it gave me shit loads of energy to "give" to others and create what i felt i needed in order to survive emotionally and mentally and it seemed outwards as if i was a very strong person.. zigzaging between different extremes and masochistic behavior until that too big of a trigger that pushed me over the edge and i became actively suicidal.. and now im trying to except my self and not only others, build a solid ground but this time based on the acceptance of that same pain and rage.. recovery is a much harder road cause i need to work very hard on maintenance and not immediately act upon instincts urges and impulse.. really fucking hard.. like climbing a mountain backwards, but we dont have to do it alone if we communicate and support..
i always though i was lead by my heart until my love died in my arms, it neutralized me it contradicted my existence and meaning, my love didnt save him.. i cant believe im writing this and i still dont know if it will ever really happen but now i need to learn how to love my self, then as you say maybe be able to turn pain into something constructive.. baby steps..
x
 
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DocNo

DocNo

whatever
Oct 30, 2020
1,750
..recovery is a much harder road cause i need to work very hard on maintenance and not immediately act upon instincts urges and impulse.. really fucking hard.. like climbing a mountain backwards, but we dont have to do it alone if we communicate and support..

in the times where i only was able to live on this instincts and impulses i felt like an animal. also it felt like an addiction. every new impulse needed somehow more stimulation but it was never enough to feel satisfied. i always hated myself to be in this state and not being able to step back and go easy. cause less is more and you need the breaks to feel the beat.

for me it also means to be human not to let you drive only by this basic instincts and impulses. cause i think to be able to develop and to become more than the sum of your pieces you need some kind of stability to have a base you can build one.

and since registering here and talking to people as much as i never done it before in my life, i feel the first time this feeling of a base. before it seems i only was able to create fragments of my life.

don't know if it makes any sense. pretty fresh thought.
 
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K-O

K-O

FU(KOFFEE
Apr 16, 2020
1,462

thank you for dropping this bomb mate.. officially marking the beginning of the end so to speak..
x
for me it also means to be human not to let you drive only by this basic instincts and impulses.
the snap is that for me it is very "humane" to be driven by those "animalistic" impulses as you say, but its our "job" to restrain ourselves from those instincts and check our selves.. funny to me how people use the word inhumane as if we are born with an embedded moral code when it is the exact opposite, it is something you need to learn and develop.. CHOICE :wink:
 
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DocNo

DocNo

whatever
Oct 30, 2020
1,750
thank you for dropping this bomb mate.. officially marking the beginning of the end so to speak..
x

the snap is that for me it is very "humane" to be driven by those "animalistic" impulses as you say, but its our "job" to restrain ourselves from those instincts and check our selves.. funny to me how people use the word inhumane as if we are born with an embedded moral code when it is the exact opposite, it is something you need to learn and develop.. CHOICE :wink:


yeah. i guess i meant that it is our "job" to restrain cause the instincts and impulses are part of us and also makes us human. but i guess i meant, when you only live on this instincts and impulses or let you drive only by them than it's more an animal feeling than to feel human.
 
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K-O

FU(KOFFEE
Apr 16, 2020
1,462
yeah. i guess i meant that it is our "job" to restrain cause the instincts and impulses are part of us and also makes us human. but i guess i meant, when you only live on this instincts and impulses or let you drive only by them than it's more an animal feeling than to feel human.
yes love i got that, and im saying- dont degrade animals :) animal and human comparison was always a funny notion to me.. cause they aren't driven by ego etc, they are naturally "smarter" than us cause they don't contradict themselves and self destruct like we tend to.. animals aren't cruel, they don't have a moral burden to bear so they are pure, we on the other hand are.. well.. fucked..
:heart:
 
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DocNo

DocNo

whatever
Oct 30, 2020
1,750
yes love i got that, and im saying- dont degrade animals :) animal and human comparison was always a funny notion to me.. cause they aren't driven by ego etc, they are naturally "smarter" than us cause they don't contradict themselves and self destruct like we tend to.. animals aren't cruel, they don't have a moral burden to bear so they are pure, we on the other hand are.. well.. fucked..
:heart:


it was not meant to degrade animals. i think they are much more wise than we are able to live in harmony with their enviroment compared to our invasive virus behaviour. ok i am citing mr smith here ^^
we create to destroy somehow.

:heart:
 
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Fragile

Fragile

Broken
Jul 7, 2019
1,496
yes love i got that, and im saying- dont degrade animals :) animal and human comparison was always a funny notion to me.. cause they aren't driven by ego etc, they are naturally "smarter" than us cause they don't contradict themselves and self destruct like we tend to.. animals aren't cruel, they don't have a moral burden to bear so they are pure, we on the other hand are.. well.. fucked..
:heart:


Animals are extremely fucked up too.
The more I read about animal behavior, the more I realize that humans are really just another animal. Cruelty is probably one of the most defining traits of an intelligent being, regardless of species apparently.

One of the best examples of this is the gombe chimpanzee war, where behaviors that previously were thought to be only human were observed in a group of chimpanzees. They split into two groups and then the stronger ones started killing the males of the other group in very brutal ways, some times eating their meat and screaming in celebration while "dancing" with the limbs of the chimpanzees that they just killed. The females were kidnapped and forced to incorporate in their group.
And this behavior is not restricted to primates, it's been observed multiple times that dolphins kill and rape for fun, dogs hunt for sport without the intention of eating their prey, cats torture little birds while playing with them for hours and don't actually eat them, and there are many other examples of this.

This kinda gives a lot of validity to the killer ape theory, it postulates that human evolution was shaped around war and conflicts against us and other species since times immemorial... and now I started rambling.
 
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K-O

K-O

FU(KOFFEE
Apr 16, 2020
1,462
ok i am citing mr smith here ^^
LOVE2LOVE FICTION VILLAINS :devil:

Animals are extremely fucked up too.
The more I read about animal behavior, the more I realize that humans are really just another animal. Cruelty is probably one of the most defining traits of an intelligent being, regardless of species apparently.

One of the best examples of this is the gombe chimpanzee war, where behaviors that previously were thought to be only human were observed in a group of chimpanzees. They split into two groups and then the stronger ones started killing the males of the other group in very brutal ways, some times eating their meat and screaming in celebration while "dancing" with the limbs of the chimpanzees that they just killed. The females were kidnapped and forced to incorporate in their group.
And this behavior is not restricted to primates, it's been observed multiple times that dolphins kill and rape for fun, dogs hunt for sport without the intention of eating their prey, cats torture little birds while playing with them for hours and don't actually eat them, and there are many other examples of this.

This kinda gives a lot of validity to the killer ape theory, it postulates that human evolution was shaped around war and conflicts against us and other species since times immemorial... and now I started rambling.
not rambling at all mate x
and i know! lol as i sit here my cat is terrorizing me in a vengeful way cause i failed to provide enough cuddles today and he's always got my by the bollox..
just thing is that cruelty and these concepts are man made.. a social concept and we are tortured by them, right and wrong.. we can suffer guilt shame etc that changes us.. i dont really believe in anything.. god, developing from apes or alien intelligent design (like my mom)..
all i do know is that i know nothing and that keeps things interesting and ego less.. actually i can maybe believe in the giant cat belief that we worshiped them once! x
 
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DocNo

DocNo

whatever
Oct 30, 2020
1,750
all i do know is that i know nothing

i had some time ago the thought that the i older i get the more i know the magnitude of what i don't know.
 
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Gerard de Nerval

Gerard de Nerval

Ontologist
Oct 5, 2020
145
LOVE2LOVE FICTION VILLAINS :devil:


not rambling at all mate x
and i know! lol as i sit here my cat is terrorizing me in a vengeful way cause i failed to provide enough cuddles today and he's always got my by the bollox..
just thing is that cruelty and these concepts are man made.. a social concept and we are tortured by them, right and wrong.. we can suffer guilt shame etc that changes us.. i dont really believe in anything.. god, developing from apes or alien intelligent design (like my mom)..
all i do know is that i know nothing and that keeps things interesting and ego less.. actually i can maybe believe in the giant cat belief that we worshiped them once! x

Everytime I see David Thewlis I think of his best performance as the crazed prophet-like sexual deviant in Naked.
 
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Fragile

Fragile

Broken
Jul 7, 2019
1,496
LOVE2LOVE FICTION VILLAINS :devil:


not rambling at all mate x
and i know! lol as i sit here my cat is terrorizing me in a vengeful way cause i failed to provide enough cuddles today and he's always got my by the bollox..
just thing is that cruelty and these concepts are man made.. a social concept and we are tortured by them, right and wrong.. we can suffer guilt shame etc that changes us.. i dont really believe in anything.. god, developing from apes or alien intelligent design (like my mom)..
all i do know is that i know nothing and that keeps things interesting and ego less.. actually i can maybe believe in the giant cat belief that we worshiped them once! x

And I believe you should pet your cat!

Or else... E2e3c9fd308421010f9277de49905f845df3859c
 
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K-O

FU(KOFFEE
Apr 16, 2020
1,462
Everytime I see David Thewlis I think of his best performance as the crazed prophet-like sexual deviant in Naked.

couldn't agree more! absolutely epic unforgettable part! and i think his villain in season three is also one of his top performances..
almost even represents the same existential inner dialog in different clothing and circumstances..
And I believe you should pet your cat!

Or else...
mate! the threat is real!! lol x

in Neil Gaimans sandman vol 3 there's a chapter named "A Dream Of A Thousand Cats", i just found a summary-
A long time ago, a Siamese cat met a Tom-cat, who became her lover. Eventually, she gave birth to several kittens. Her human owners were not pleased, and the male owner put the kittens in a bag bound to a rock and threw them off a bridge into a river. Traumatized by the callous murder of her kittens, the Siamese becomes disillusioned in human beings and ultimately rejects the life of a pampered pet. Her cause is strengthened when she has a dream that she has entered a boneyard in the Dreaming. In the dream, a raven with no skin on its head informs her where she can find out exactly why the humans killed her offspring: a cave inhabited by the Dream Lord. At the entrance to the cave that the raven told her off, many fearsome animals tell her to leave. She responds by saying that she will only state her business to Dream. Inside, she finds Dream in the form of a cat.
Dream presents her with a vision of an alternate reality where cats are huge and humans are merely their playthings, tiny servants which groom their bodies and which the cats can kill at their leisure. A man ruined that world by informing the humans that their dreams will shape the world. Enough humans listened to make the vision a reality. Upon waking, the cat undertakes a spiritual quest for justice. She preaches her vision to motley assortments of house cats around the world, hoping that if she can make enough cats believe in and dream of this reality, the world will change to conform to their dreams.
The cat from the beginning of the story heads home. Her friends were slightly disappointed, though they admitted that what they heard was interesting. The white cat, however, was fully taken by the tale. She returns home and heads to sleep. Over breakfast, her owners remark on what a cute stance she's in: it looks as if she's hunting something, or someone.

i like the idea that reality is shaped in the most literal sense by the dreams, beliefs, and expectations of humans and, in this case, of other animals as well. they theme of change and its relation to an individual's nature. The humans found that they were unhappy with their role and were able to harness the power of Dream to instigate a change of the nature of reality, whereas when cats found themselves in a similar situation their apathetic, independent, and fickle nature kept them from changing.
x
 
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