RedHates
Purple is a neut.
- Jun 21, 2023
- 127
I went back to my half brothers to get the rest of my shit. We were supposed to hang out until he went to work. So we did.
I changed into clean clothes because that's what we always did at his place. My dumb ass thought it would be a good idea to wear shorts. He saw my sh scars. They were from 23 days ago so they were almost gone but he still noticed them. He asked what they were and when I didn't answer, he assumed that I was "fucking other guys". What the actual fuck? I never even liked fucking him so why would I fuck anyone else? So after a long pause, I asked if he would get mad at me if I told him the truth. He said it depends. So I told him they were from sh and he did, in fact, get mad. Multiple times he went on a rant about how I keep lying, everything I'm doing is suspicious, and all the reasons he superficially doesn't approve of my "friend" I'm staying with. He even called her dykey (big slur) at one point. He said that sh was doing pegan shit. ?? What? Sh is pegan? He didn't even believe me at first about my sh. But I think by the end of it he did.
When I tried to leave, he was like, "where are you going? So you're just going to leave without saying goodbye?" And more shit like that. Like idfk what he wants me to do.
A few days later, I wake up to a text about how disappointed and betrayed he feels. He thinks I'm not safe. He thinks I'm lying to him. Which to be fair, I am lying. I have to. If je found out I'm living in a homeless shelter, he would be so unbelievably pissed. I genuinely don't know how he would react to knowing I'm suicidal. He already feels like he doesn't want to talk to me anymore.
He doesn't understand how much he makes me want to ctb. It's like every single time I'm around him, every bit of hope I had disappears.
Idk. I only wish you weren't my friend so I could hurt you in the end. Fuck you, golden child.
I changed into clean clothes because that's what we always did at his place. My dumb ass thought it would be a good idea to wear shorts. He saw my sh scars. They were from 23 days ago so they were almost gone but he still noticed them. He asked what they were and when I didn't answer, he assumed that I was "fucking other guys". What the actual fuck? I never even liked fucking him so why would I fuck anyone else? So after a long pause, I asked if he would get mad at me if I told him the truth. He said it depends. So I told him they were from sh and he did, in fact, get mad. Multiple times he went on a rant about how I keep lying, everything I'm doing is suspicious, and all the reasons he superficially doesn't approve of my "friend" I'm staying with. He even called her dykey (big slur) at one point. He said that sh was doing pegan shit. ?? What? Sh is pegan? He didn't even believe me at first about my sh. But I think by the end of it he did.
When I tried to leave, he was like, "where are you going? So you're just going to leave without saying goodbye?" And more shit like that. Like idfk what he wants me to do.
A few days later, I wake up to a text about how disappointed and betrayed he feels. He thinks I'm not safe. He thinks I'm lying to him. Which to be fair, I am lying. I have to. If je found out I'm living in a homeless shelter, he would be so unbelievably pissed. I genuinely don't know how he would react to knowing I'm suicidal. He already feels like he doesn't want to talk to me anymore.
He doesn't understand how much he makes me want to ctb. It's like every single time I'm around him, every bit of hope I had disappears.
Idk. I only wish you weren't my friend so I could hurt you in the end. Fuck you, golden child.
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