Venting Hate towards men on the forum

[pathetic failure]

During the last month I have noticed an increase in hate and hostility towards men.
All I want to say is this is not the place for any kind of hate. People here are definitely suffering. We as a community should call out such behaviours.
I have also seen many people justify it saying it's " harmless venting " . A lot of people here are men who struggle with self hate . I can assure you seeing those kind of posts on a forum that is supposed to be understanding and welcoming can have major consequences on their mental health.

This is a suicide forum after all so it is here that one should be extra careful of what they say. People here are in extremely vulnerable places and just want a safe place to talk about it.

Words are not "just words" in a place like this. In fact they may be just as bad as actions. There are several other places on the internet to express your hate about men and I can assure you are going to be more than welcome there.

Again this forum should not be a place of hate no matter how "justified" it can be in your opinion. You can share your experiences without putting an entire gender down.

I don't even realise what those types of posts are trying to achieve here. If you hate men that much why are you after suicidal ones. They are going to be dead either way

 

[Unhumanly.]

I can feel that because I uninstalled social media to avoid those gender hate stuff and then just to find it here again

 

[pathetic failure]

I can feel that because I uninstalled social media to avoid those gender hate stuff and then just to find it here again

That's exactly the case for me. I have stopped using Instagram and Reddit for that reason. Only to find it here and feel even more shit about myself

 

[imtiredasf]

I don't even realise what those types of posts are trying to achieve here. If you hate men that much why are you after suicidal ones. They are going to be dead either way

That's the sad part, isn't it? Everyone here's just about or has given up. I don't know, I've had a lot happen to me thanks to the opposite gender and I refuse to hold it against all of them. It's just another thing to stress me out, make me sadder, upset me more, just feel more defeated.

 

[The Actual Devil]

This is a "vent," and you didn't ask for help or any explanation, so my hands are tied in offering my perspective. I will say that there is a nuance in "I Hate Men" that isn't readily understood by many.

I have been thinking of offering a "man-to-man" explanation on this in a post, in its own thread, in the hopes of increasing future comprehension of the women by the men here. In the pursuit of greater cohesion among SaSu's diverse membership, of course. Mind you, I hold no pretense that I could bury the issue once and for all.

I know many will reply here, and many more will read this. So, without derailing OP's vent, I encourage any to DM me on what I have proposed. Would such a post be inherently tone-deaf if it were done by a man? Or is it a good idea? Is there something you would like to add to my perspective that I would have otherwise likely overlooked?

 

[Forever Sleep]

I want to start by saying- if specific posts cross the line in your eyes and become bullying, you do have the right to report them.

I think the hate flows in both directions to be fair. Not that one excuses the other of course. Neither are good either for the reasons you expressed.

It's kind of tricky though. People are hurting here. Should incels have the right to express themselves? About the inequalities they perceive for instance?

It's a forum that allows people to vent about the issues that are making them suicidal. For incels, that can be their perceived position in society. A lot of the misogyny I've seen here has been on incel type threads. It's tricky again though- they do obviously deserve a place to express their woes but not if it becomes excessively personal and hateful towards women.

Similarly, women here ranting about men. I imagine that's because they have been treated so badly by them! Bear in mind there are rape victims here, victims of abuse and stalking. It's also understandable that someone who's life has been dominated by male abuse is going to be feeling upset about it. Do they deserve a place to vent too?

I just think it's a very fine line between allowing free speech and not offending others. I think we all have to accept though that past experiences leaving people with trauma mean that some members will have a profound distrust and hatred of the opposite sex. They're not refering to you specifically but sure- they're bound to be wary of men or women generally because of past, bad experiences.

Effectively, they're saying- because of all this past trauma, I find myself not liking or trusting people like this. That seems reasonable to me. Obviously not if it becomes outright personal and hateful though.

Similarly, I semi-regularly rant about narcissism because I believe the person who made my life hell and caused my ideation initially to be a narcissist. Again though, members have pointed out that there are people with diagnosed NPD here who feel victimised by all the hate.

I think we both have a point. It's not fair to demonize and randomly band about the term 'narcissist' but then, victims of any kind of abuse should also be able to talk about it. The same goes for the high degree of anti-natilism here, which can make parents feel unwelcome and attacked.

I suppose we all need to assess what we are saying and, how we are phrasing it. I think we need to make it clearer maybe that we are refering to individuals, rather than all men, all women, all people we've decided are narcissists.

Plus, reading posts, I think we have to appreciate they are refering to their own experience and perceptions. Maybe they would distrust or dislike you personally because of their past but- that's not entirely their fault- surely? Would you expect a person who has been brutally treated to then trust and love openly? They shouldn't spew hate at you certainly.

I doubt women do actually want individual men dead unless they've been hurt by them. Also, statistically speaking, men do most of the actual killing of women!

I obviously don't know which posts you are refering to specifically. Perhaps they did cross the line so- again- we ought to report such threads. However, I've learnt there are certain threads and members I really need to stay away from.

They still have the right to be here of course. Still, the very intensely women hating incel threads tend to make me want to engage when I've now learned to stay clear. One guy even randomly sent women PM's saying: 'I hope your children die'- whether we were childless or not! Obviously- if you are getting hateful PM's- report them.

Really though, there are all sorts of people on here with all sorts of backgrounds. Some will hold hostilities and mistrust towards the other. It's hard to allow people to vent without allowing specifics too I suppose. But- sometimes- if they aren't breaking the rules, I think it's better for us to simply put those members that trigger or upset us on 'ignore'. Plus, stop reading and responding to threads that get to us. And obviously, report the ones that go too far.

 

[ReincarnatedGibbon]

i know it can be difficult, but you should try not to take those statements personally, as the statements themselves are not directed toward any one person, but towards a trend in society as a whole.
the majority of women will experience rape or sexual harassment by a man in their lifetime, many (especially on this forum i imagine) multiple times. the murder statistics and domestic violence statistics also are skewed toward women. this of course makes many feel unsafe, and therefore they have the need to vent.
of course men also experience these horrors, and sadly they don't report it as often, or are taken as seriously when they do; but this is an issue that stems from the same societal structure that oppresses women. it's not just for women's sake that these patriarchal stereotypes of gender should be gotten rid of, it's also for all the men, who suffer from the other kinds of pressure put upon them by this system. no wonder so many men are homeless, and victims of suicide, because society doesn't allow them to talk about their feelings.
there are also quite a few incel types on this forum, who have a worldview some would consider misogynistic, but they usually don't get personal or overtly detailed in these views, and therefore people with differing views tolerate them. we should offer women at least the same respect.
i think posts like these could also upset victims, in the way you're afraid their posts will affect vulnerable men. when your trauma is dismissed by everyone around you, this kind of sentiment can feel like a furthering of that.
this does of course not mean that furthering the conflict between the genders is a good thing. if anything, that's what those in power wants us to do, so we're distracted while they keep taking our rights away. but we must also understand each others trauma if we are to heal from all of this. including letting victims express their hatred towards the establishment that allows men to get away with misogynistic crimes (which is what "hate all men" means, it's just a polemical way of saying it)
i'll end by stressing that this is not a personal attack in any way, so please don't read it that way. i get where you're coming from, but i think that your sentiment is more harmful than you may think. if anything on here triggers you, you can always click away. i know i do so when i read some of the bigotry some people post here (including the aforementioned incels. i find their objectifying view of women really upsetting, but i understand that they also have some sort of trauma or negative experience, and this forum is not the place to shame them.)
this forum is for helping people make educated choices, including encouraging them to keep fighting, if they feel a glimmer of hope, and allowing them to vent out their frustrations with this cruel world, as long as it doesn't personally target anybody or calls to violence or anything like that.

sorry for the ramble:)

 

[Pluto]

 

[quins]

I agree in part, it makes me uncomfortable due to how "gendered" grievances have mutated over the years--in a manner which I couldn't really anticipate or compare to the new-wave feminism back in my university days, but the substance of it hasn't really changed, instead only acquiring a greater strength through the internet and internet cloisters (even during the pre-Musk twitterati) which promulgate hatred on both ends. Then again, it might just be that I'm not inoculated to these things as other people are...

 

[Apathy79]

The "I hate men" crowd and the "I hate women" crowd are part of the same delusion, despite thinking they're opposed. It's really the same as hating any group. I saw all right wing people described as hateful in the previous thread I read. Same delusion again. I'm sure I've read the same for left wing, or certain religions, or certain races, whatever group seems to fit. The logic is I met someone or a few people like this therefore everyone I put in their category is identical. I think the right response is feeling sorry for them. They're no longer mentally capable of separating the individual from the group, and need somewhere to project the hate they're carrying inside.

Sidenote because it was mentioned: I certainly wouldn't ban any of this. The site works because people can vent freely without being cancelled. Censorship is never the answer.

 

[Michelstaedter]

I think my case is strange, because although in theory I'm an InCel, I'm not a misogynist; in fact, I would find it sad to be one. However, I tend to be misanthropic, because I detest human beings from the perspective of seeing human flaws as something horrible. I'll give a couple of examples:

-When people talk about how a human life is worth more than an animal's, I detest that. I'm not saying that an animal is more valuable in itself or equally valuable as if it were "my pet," but rather a living being, and it is valuable within nature, no more, no less, and not because of me.

-Violence in general. Whether physical, psychological, or anything that inflicts violence on another person. I detest men who see women as whores; I detest women who see men as beasts. I believe it's not about gender, and even whores are not inferior to me, but men who harm society are, just like women. Do you understand? Because I've seen women who hurt animals, who believe the universe revolves around them, and also violent men who believe they can do whatever they want over any living being.

 

[WhatCouldHaveBeen32]

I am a man and did not personally feel attacked in the past months, I can understand if you would feel attacked but who is "after the suicidal men?" , having conversation with people who are in the same predicament as you , helps you understand them better doesn't it? I didn't seen any girl here who hadn't had their thread closed who attacked or specifically harassed men.

I think my case is strange, because although in theory I'm an InCel, I'm not a misogynist;

Interestingly, I only found about what incels really are from this forum a couple of months back, honestly what you are describing isn't what an Incel is these days. You , like me, aren't really compatible with humans, the problem of incels is that THEY WANT to be compatible with humans as they are right now; we don't want that at all, in fact we believe that humans as they are , are quite fcked in the head so we reject the idea of even trying to form new relationships for the time being, so we are misanthropes.

In fact, when it's about our relationships, both of romatnic and friendship interest, it's actually THEIR fault and THEY aren't able to get with us, if you subscribe to misanthropy that is; and it's THEIR job to get better as people to be able to form a relationship with us and NOT the other way around; because misanthropy's philosophy is actually build on the cruel reality of humanity unlike incel philosophy who is build on delusions from what I've seen.

So it's not like women or men don't love me, I don't love men or women, that doesn't make them incels nor does me, I'm just a misanthrope. I can love and find interesting individual men or women but it's very hard to find one specifically and I don't like the idea of sex, it's just something that doesn't appeal to me. I do feel aesthetic attraction to both genders somewhat, but I can never think about the person who is in front of me in a sexual way. But I do DESPISE and still get into talks about sexual abuse/assault because I despise abusers in every way shape or form and I've been subjected to some form of it in my childhood.

So even if I don't want to partake into the activity, I still want everyone else to be safe even if I am a misanthrope because my hate doesn't come from nowhere and I know that humans won't get better by themselves so I try to help and give advice in the little times I find people, be it about school/university, how to deal with bullies or abusive parents, how to deal with first jobs and shitty managers, the usual. I rambled way too much.

 

[alwaysalone]

I want to start by saying- if specific posts cross the line in your eyes and become bullying, you do have the right to report them.

I think the hate flows in both directions to be fair. Not that one excuses the other of course. Neither are good either for the reasons you expressed.

It's kind of tricky though. People are hurting here. Should incels have the right to express themselves? About the inequalities they perceive for instance?

It's a forum that allows people to vent about the issues that are making them suicidal. For incels, that can be their perceived position in society. A lot of the misogyny I've seen here has been on incel type threads. It's tricky again though- they do obviously deserve a place to express their woes but not if it becomes excessively personal and hateful towards women.

Similarly, women here ranting about men. I imagine that's because they have been treated so badly by them! Bear in mind there are rape victims here, victims of abuse and stalking. It's also understandable that someone who's life has been dominated by male abuse is going to be feeling upset about it. Do they deserve a place to vent too?

I just think it's a very fine line between allowing free speech and not offending others. I think we all have to accept though that past experiences leaving people with trauma mean that some members will have a profound distrust and hatred of the opposite sex. They're not refering to you specifically but sure- they're bound to be wary of men or women generally because of past, bad experiences.

Effectively, they're saying- because of all this past trauma, I find myself not liking or trusting people like this. That seems reasonable to me. Obviously not if it becomes outright personal and hateful though.

Similarly, I semi-regularly rant about narcissism because I believe the person who made my life hell and caused my ideation initially to be a narcissist. Again though, members have pointed out that there are people with diagnosed NPD here who feel victimised by all the hate.

I think we both have a point. It's not fair to demonize and randomly band about the term 'narcissist' but then, victims of any kind of abuse should also be able to talk about it. The same goes for the high degree of anti-natilism here, which can make parents feel unwelcome and attacked.

I suppose we all need to assess what we are saying and, how we are phrasing it. I think we need to make it clearer maybe that we are refering to individuals, rather than all men, all women, all people we've decided are narcissists.

Plus, reading posts, I think we have to appreciate they are refering to their own experience and perceptions. Maybe they would distrust or dislike you personally because of their past but- that's not entirely their fault- surely? Would you expect a person who has been brutally treated to then trust and love openly? They shouldn't spew hate at you certainly.

I doubt women do actually want individual men dead unless they've been hurt by them. Also, statistically speaking, men do most of the actual killing of women!

I obviously don't know which posts you are refering to specifically. Perhaps they did cross the line so- again- we ought to report such threads. However, I've learnt there are certain threads and members I really need to stay away from.

They still have the right to be here of course. Still, the very intensely women hating incel threads tend to make me want to engage when I've now learned to stay clear. One guy even randomly sent women PM's saying: 'I hope your children die'- whether we were childless or not! Obviously- if you are getting hateful PM's- report them.

Really though, there are all sorts of people on here with all sorts of backgrounds. Some will hold hostilities and mistrust towards the other. It's hard to allow people to vent without allowing specifics too I suppose. But- sometimes- if they aren't breaking the rules, I think it's better for us to simply put those members that trigger or upset us on 'ignore'. Plus, stop reading and responding to threads that get to us. And obviously, report the ones that go too far.

Everything you said makes sense and is understandable until you ask yourself a couple questions. Would I say the same if this was a PoC who was complaining because white people ( who had indeed been victimized by people of color) were saying they hate them? Or an trans person? A man can't help being a man any more than a Hispanic, African, Asian, lesbian or transitioning person can help being what they are. Imagine the hellstorm here if someone said "I hate all _____ (insert person of color) they're all evil..." even if they'd been victimized by someone of the same ethnicity.
I don't believe it's ever ok to say things like 'l hate all men they're all horrible and evil' (which I've seen expressed multiple times if not the exact words) no matter what trauma may be in a person's past. Abuse trauma etc.... is never an excuse to cause trauma or be an abuser.

 

[Michelstaedter]

I am a man and did not personally feel attacked in the past months, I can understand if you would feel attacked but who is "after the suicidal men?" , having conversation with people who are in the same predicament as you , helps you understand them better doesn't it? I didn't seen any girl here who hadn't had their thread closed who attacked or specifically harassed men.


Interestingly, I only found about what incels really are from this forum a couple of months back, honestly what you are describing isn't what an Incel is these days. You , like me, aren't really compatible with humans, the problem of incels is that THEY WANT to be compatible with humans as they are right now; we don't want that at all, in fact we believe that humans as they are , are quite fcked in the head so we reject the idea of even trying to form new relationships for the time being, so we are misanthropes.

In fact, when it's about our relationships, both of romatnic and friendship interest, it's actually THEIR fault and THEY aren't able to get with us, if you subscribe to misanthropy that is; and it's THEIR job to get better as people to be able to form a relationship with us and NOT the other way around; because misanthropy's philosophy is actually build on the cruel reality of humanity unlike incel philosophy who is build on delusions from what I've seen.

So it's not like women or men don't love me, I don't love men or women, that doesn't make them incels nor does me, I'm just a misanthrope. I can love and find interesting individual men or women but it's very hard to find one specifically and I don't like the idea of sex, it's just something that doesn't appeal to me. I do feel aesthetic attraction to both genders somewhat, but I can never think about the person who is in front of me in a sexual way. But I do DESPISE and still get into talks about sexual abuse/assault because I despise abusers in every way shape or form and I've been subjected to some form of it in my childhood.

So even if I don't want to partake into the activity, I still want everyone else to be safe even if I am a misanthrope because my hate doesn't come from nowhere and I know that humans won't get better by themselves so I try to help and give advice in the little times I find people, be it about school/university, how to deal with bullies or abusive parents, how to deal with first jobs and shitty managers, the usual. I rambled way too much.

In my case, I consider myself an InCel because I've wanted to have sex, or still have desires, but I don't have anyone to, nor has any girl been interested in me. Before, I had attitudes of hatred or misogyny because I took resentment to a more general level, which now, as you explain, is a matter of seeing human evil as something that makes you feel rejection towards humanity (all those who do bad acts, according to me). It's complex, but at the same time, it leaves me with a moral lesson knowing that my non-ideological InCel condition is simply stupid, since I could go with a prostitute and I would stop being one, unlike people who, I understood, considered themselves InCel even though they had had sex with prostitutes (WTF), and then I realized that it's an absurd ideology and, as you say, it seeks illogical acceptance. Well, in my case, I'm not looking for acceptance. I don't even want to go with a prostitute because I have such bad luck that surely her story is sad and I'll feel worse afterward.

Nowadays I can imagine that some women, if they all could meet me, would probably want me sexually or as a couple, so under a certain fantasy I realize that it makes no sense to hate women, because being women makes no sense, just because I haven't had luck in romance is not their fault and even if there were 1000 women who rejected me, I don't consider those 1000 to be worth hating the gender in front of one who could even become romantically obsessed with me. Unlike the fact that almost everywhere I see a lot of evil, violence, hypocrisy and other acts that do make me detest that human condition that leads me to want to be alone and to be a misanthrope.

 

[Forever Sleep]

Everything you said makes sense and is understandable until you ask yourself a couple questions. Would I say the same if this was a PoC who was complaining because white people ( who had indeed been victimized by people of color) were saying they hate them? Or an trans person? A man can't help being a man any more than a Hispanic, African, Asian, lesbian or transitioning person can help being what they are. Imagine the hellstorm here if someone said "I hate all _____ (insert person of color) they're all evil..." even if they'd been victimized by someone of the same ethnicity.
I don't believe it's ever ok to say things like 'l hate all men they're all horrible and evil' (which I've seen expressed multiple times if not the exact words) no matter what trauma may be in a person's past. Abuse trauma etc.... is never an excuse to cause trauma or be an abuser.

True- that's a fair observation to make. I also tend to think the same coment about women said outright here: 'I hate women' might possibly have been blocked. Although, I'm not sure. It's expressing a personal opinion. Not inciting violence or hatred from others. (Although, that tends to happen organically.) There is certainly misogyny here though. There are plenty of complaints about that too.

Consider this though instead: 'I find I have a profound mistrust and dislike towards [insert demographic- men, women, gay, trans, black, white- whatever] because of multiple past trauma with people of that gender/ sexuality/ race.' Phrased like that, I think it would be more acceptable. That's not justifying our hatred. That's saying that likely awful experiences in our lives have given us a negative bias.

I suppose I was defending a person's right to vent and express their experience- I also defended incels within that context. I made it clear that outright hate speech wasn't acceptible though. Plus, that we need to be considering how we phrase things so that we don't hurt others.

Also, at the time of posting, I wasn't clear on which post the OP felt hurt by. I hadn't realised at that time, it was such an outright 'hatred towards men' post.

They had commented on a different thread questioning the link between femcels and ideation, which I felt had presented a more balanced argument.

The member in that thread refered to the high degree of violence towards women and, systemic problems in society that historically meant, these attrocities were sometimes ignored and enabled and probably still are to some extent today.

That's also not to say men don't suffer too. The way we perceive things as a society mean that plenty of people don't get the protection or support they need. A different example is the less recognition and support men suffering with anorexia used to get. Because it always used to be seen as a solely female affliction.

The person did on the one hand use the word 'most men' regarding their analysis but then, they were clear to specify it wasn't all men. But, the OP took deep offence at that too.

I do completely understand that we all get triggered by certain topics. I suppose we have to find a way through though, so that we all get a voice. Again- certainly, if it's outright hate speech, it's fair to call someone out or, even report them if it's that bad.

However, if they're staying within the guidelines and at least trying to create a reasonable argument: 'Women are afraid of male violence', could be viewed as a reasonable argument- I think we need to think more carefully how we respond.

It's not to blame the OP but, comments against men obviously trigger him to feel worse. If someone makes a more genuinely presented argument on why women may hold fear and resentment towards men- especially when they cite sexual assualt and abuse, that's also maybe not the time to reply that such comments are hurtful and are a tantamount wish/ make him conclude that all men should die. No one said that or suggested that in the slightest!

Of course, the OP also deserves the right to vent and express grievances. I'd say, creating a thread like this one is the way to do it though. Plus- to even express that it doesn't have to be outright hate posts that trigger them. It can be any posts that criticise male behaviour because it troubles them that so many women are afraid, distrustful and possibly, even hate men.

It doesn't exactly work so well calling out genuine grievances against male violence directly though. By saying that such speech makes them want to die. That can be seen as trying to silence a genuine grievance via mannipulation. As in- don't complain about male violence because, it makes me want to die more.

Once again- a separate thread like this one is the place to do that: 'Negative comments towards men make me suicidal'. That allows the woman space to still vent about their genuine grievances, while it also gives the man space to say that negative responses to men- even when justified, intensify their ideation.

I effectively think we all have a responsibility. We should try to phrase sentiments that are likely to be offensive in a manner that demonstrates it is our own bias- likely because of trauma. But also, we should respect another person's right to express genuine grievancies about the world- rape, abuse and society enabling rape and abuse is a genuine grievance!

 

[quins]

Consider this though instead: 'I find I have a profound mistrust and dislike towards [insert demographic- men, women, gay, trans, black, white- whatever] because of multiple past trauma with people of that gender/ sexuality/ race.' Phrased like that, I think it would be more acceptable. That's not justifying our hatred. That's saying that likely awful experiences in our lives have given us a negative bias.

I don't think there's any doubt that this site is mostly a "lefty" hugbox (I don't use that pejoratively, just an ascription) so I'm sure that, sans men and possibly "wypipo", that everything else would be considered intolerant. And no one will blame the tolerant for being intolerant to the intolerant. Of course, there is a lot of flexibility in "venting", which I came to realize after lurking for a while, so hatespeech on its face can be reframed into a mild grievance, a justifiable response to real world "unfairness", assuming that one demographic is routinely favored over the other, as men are allegedly over women for instance.

As an absolutist in "free speech", almost in a yokeled sense, I think that "I hate men" threads are nice curiosities, a good thing for the site to have. I also think that one could plausibly spin those threads into more moderate forms, whereas an "I hate blacks" thread obviously won't go that way (this is probably due to a certain defeatism from young black "shitlibs", but I won't go into that), so I think that people just need to sucker up and accept that there will be a lot of misandry here, and that it's "okay" because... well, look where you are. The "I hate black" threads then should take a more discrete form, which I think are fine, and the people in those threads wouldn't be politically responsible if they're serious about suicide anyhow. Rules of conduct preserved.

 

[Dot]

Everything you said makes sense and is "I hate all _____ (insert person of color) they're all evil..." even if they'd been victimized by someone of the same ethnicity.

Slf wll jst sy tht thre r thngs takn int accnt whn modr8trs r cnsidrng rports abt sch threds

Th/ xample u usd cntaind 2 phrses

'slf h8 mn' & 'thy r all evl' r 2 sepr8 st8tmnts -- 'slf h8 mn' = persnl feelng whch = oftn followd b/ dscripntns of xpernces of abse & harmfl treatmnt whch hd lft sme1 wth specfc feelngs whch wld b undrstndble feelngs 2 hve -- contxt arnd sch st8mnts wll all b takn in2 accnt

'Thy r all evl' = genrlisatn abt tht demgraphc whch wld nt genrlly b acceptd & OPs wld b askd 2 remve phrses lke tht or thy wld b warnd etc

if sme1 hs bn bittn b/ dgs & thn thy r afrd of dgs no1 wld blme thm fr tht bt if sme1 startd advoc8tng fr cullng thm or sme1 ws spredng misnfrmatn abt thm whch wld Ncourge othr ppl t/ hrm thm thn thse opinns wld nt b cnsidrd acceptble

True- that's a fair observation to make. I also tend to think the same coment about women said outright here: 'I hate women' might possibly have been blocked. Although, I'm not sure. It's expressing a personal opinion. Not inciting violence or hatred from others. (Although, that tends to happen organically.) There is certainly misogyny here though. There are plenty of complaints about that too.

If th/ rst of thred ws follwd wth 'slf hve bn hrt & cheatd on & rejectd' etc thn sme1 = jst voicng thr own emotns whch happn bcse of thr xpernces - thy r keepng commnts abt thmslves & thr feelngs & thr xperncs s/ thy wld prbbly b allowd

If thy usd phrses lke 'slf h8 womn & thy r all shallw or dmb' etc thn tht persn hs discnnctd frm thr slf-awreness & startd projectng thr hurt on2 makng sexst st8mnts abt th/ whle demographc

Consider this though instead: 'I find I have a profound mistrust and dislike towards [insert demographic- men, women, gay, trans, black, white- whatever] because of multiple past trauma with people of that gender/ sexuality/ race.' Phrased like that, I think it would be more acceptable. That's not justifying our hatred. That's saying that likely awful experiences in our lives have given us a negative bias.

Nd 2 b realstc tho tht emotnl & hurtng ppl shld b allowd 2 vnt wthout xtreme levls of slf-monitrng & commnts lke tht abve wld hve takn awy th/ spce fr ventng tht persn needd whn thy jst nd 2 rlease sme emotnl steam

Imo ppl jst nd 2 try & gve ech-othr sme grce

Ppl r allowd 2 hve thr own persnl emotns & a plce lke sasu shld b a spce fr ppl 2 voic thm

If = obvs tht sme1 = voicng thr own xperncs thn ppl shld realse tht nt all commnts r abt thm & jst mve on

 

[alwaysalone]

Slf wll jst sy tht thre r thngs takn int accnt whn modr8trs r cnsidrng rports abt sch threds

Th/ xample u usd cntaind 2 phrses

'slf h8 mn' & 'thy r all evl' r 2 sepr8 st8tmnts -- 'slf h8 mn' = persnl feelng whch = oftn followd b/ dscripntns of xpernces of abse & harmfl treatmnt whch hd lft sme1 wth specfc feelngs whch wld b undrstndble feelngs 2 hve -- contxt arnd sch st8mnts wll all b takn in2 accnt

It may be slitting hairs but I think what may be bothering people is the use of "men" vs "I hate this specific man or I hate the men who harmed me". It's a small thing but it's a generalization that seems to be causing harm.

'Thy r all evl' = genrlisatn abt tht demgraphc whch wld nt genrlly b acceptd & OPs wld b askd 2 remve phrses lke tht or thy wld b warnd etc

I'm not trying to advocate for punishment of any kind and I think you moderators do a great job. I can't even imagine what a headache it must be.

if sme1 hs bn bittn b/ dgs & thn thy r afrd of dgs no1 wld blme thm fr tht bt if sme1 startd advoc8tng fr cullng thm or sme1 ws spredng misnfrmatn abt thm whch wld Ncourge othr ppl t/ hrm thm thn thse opinns wld nt b cnsidrd acceptble



If th/ rst of thred ws follwd wth 'slf hve bn hrt & cheatd on & rejectd' etc thn sme1 = jst voicng thr own emotns whch happn bcse of thr xpernces - thy r keepng commnts abt thmslves & thr feelngs & thr xperncs s/ thy wld prbbly b allowd

If thy usd phrses lke 'slf h8 womn & thy r all shallw or dmb' etc thn tht persn hs discnnctd frm thr slf-awreness & startd projectng thr hurt on2 makng sexst st8mnts abt th/ whle demographc



Nd 2 b realstc tho tht emotnl & hurtng ppl shld b allowd 2 vnt wthout xtreme levls of slf-monitrng & commnts lke tht abve wld hve takn awy th/ spce fr ventng tht persn needd whn thy jst nd 2 rlease sme emotnl steam

Imo ppl jst nd 2 try & gve ech-othr sme grce

Ppl r allowd 2 hve thr own persnl emotns & a plce lke sasu shld b a spce fr ppl 2 voic thm

If = obvs tht sme1 = voicng thr own xperncs thn ppl shld realse tht nt all commnts r abt thm & jst mve on

I agree there's no easy answer when dealing with so many and their feelings. Maybe just no more provocative titles "I hate ______" unless it's an intimate object. Lol or a heads up that generalized venting will be in thread and it's not meant to be personal??