Hate myself and i want to not be

[downndone2]

I hate myself, can't stand what I've done, and just continue to mess up in life. I've given up on life. I m isolated, withdrawn, lack self-care, and will never be able to forgive myself or fix what I've done. If not for the family/friends/pets I would've checked out so long ago. But I've found myself to a point that I have to get out of this hell I live in everyday. I'm sick of who I am and what I've become. I'll likely try to od first and if I wake from that I'll shoot myself in the head. I continue to evaluate my methods because I don't want to fuck it up. Also, I'm so lonely and it is eating me alive.

 

[puppet_nihilist]

Don't know your specific circumstances but honestly same. We're trapped in this world, hope we suffer no more

 

[downndone2]

Don't know your specific circumstances but honestly same. We're trapped in this world, hope we suffer no more


I destroyed my marriage, ruined and messed up relationships, lost a business, tons of money, etc a while back. I finally though things were improving and it just all came striking again like a ton of brks. And then there's the other stuff currently I have to wait until at least March to ctb but I wish I could do it now. I am sorry you're feeling the same and hope you find peace

 

[Viranamari]

I hope you know what you are doing if you are going to CTB. Perhaps you can wait a little longer. Either way, your opinion is respected and I hope you will be able to achieve what you want.

 

[Wisdom3_1-9]

I hate myself, can't stand what I've done, and just continue to mess up in life. I've given up on life. I m isolated, withdrawn, lack self-care, and will never be able to forgive myself or fix what I've done. If not for the family/friends/pets I would've checked out so long ago. But I've found myself to a point that I have to get out of this hell I live in everyday. I'm sick of who I am and what I've become. I'll likely try to od first and if I wake from that I'll shoot myself in the head. I continue to evaluate my methods because I don't want to fuck it up. Also, I'm so lonely and it is eating me alive.

I'm so sorry you feel this way. I can empathize with you. It sounds like there might be a situational element to your feelings. Can you think of a situation or occurrence that might cause you to choose differently? And if so, 1) would that outcome be more desirable and 2) is there a viable path to it?

Regardless of what you decide, I hope you find some form of peace. I do not wish a life of struggle and emotional torment on anyone. If you choose to go, I hope you find peace in your method, too. They sound harsh to me, but I know everyone has their own preferences for their exit.

Until then (either exit or recovery), I hope you find the company you desire. I know it's not the same as in-person human contact, but I hope the forums can offer you some temporary relief from the loneliness.

 

[downndone2]

I hope you know what you are doing if you are going to CTB. Perhaps you can wait a little longer. Either way, your opinion is respected and I hope you will be able to achieve what you want.







meds



The

I hope you know what you are doing if you are going to CTB. Perhaps you can wait a little longer. Either way, your opinion is respected and I hope you will be able to achieve what you want.

No idea on the od but worth a try before gunshot. I have to wait until next month at lease. Right now just waiting a single second more is excruciating though

 

[FuneralCry]

Existing certainly can be torture so of course it's very much understandable wishing for permanent freedom from this hell. In my case simply just being awake makes the thought of eternal sleep sound so incredibly appealing.

 

[downndone2]

Existing certainly can be torture so of course it's very much understandable wishing for permanent freedom from this hell. In my case simply just being awake makes the thought of eternal sleep sound so incredibly appealing.


Im sorry, feel the same here. Everyday i want to go to sleep and never wake up