Discussion hate jealousy and being envy

[ScaredCutter]

i just need ideas and to hear others out.

ive talked about it before but, im extremly jealous of my bf friends or "friends" he calls them. im jealous of how they get to spend time with him, what they get to talk ab and such other things. im jealous of how he gives them attention, how they get him to play with them, and the fun he has with them. i have talked about this with him and its ended badly because i just become controlling of it and try to force him to leave them for good, so i stopped bringing it up for that reason and a few more other reasons.

i want to be happy that he has friends because its smth hes talked to me about. i want to be able to trust them because i honestly hate them with my guts, i have a minor bad experience with one and i cant believe who they are. i cant even look at videos with them in it because im js paranoid (probs the wrong word) that im going to lose my bf. i'll even have dreams of things id hate to happen and wake up worried that it really happened.

trying to talk about this digs my head in and i js cant handle how i feel about it. its prbably just something small and stupid and im being dramatic over it. i just wanna stop being this way. ive tried my own ideas but only works for a period of time until im reminded of it again. i have distracted myself, spent time with my bf and whatever else i mightve done.

 

[NormallyNeurotic]

Sort of reminds me of when I used to "split" on other people a lot. Do you have a personality disorder on record?

 

[landmine]

I relate to this in a way.
As the other person said, do you by chance have a personality disorder as well?
I have BPD and my boyfriend is my FP. With his friends, I tend to feel jealousy when he spends time with them to do a session of DnD, or spending time at all.. But I always hide that part from ever coming out. He's happy with the friend group he has and I understand and welcome that, but I can't help the nasty feelings I have. especially when they fight over a small issue.

 

[ScaredCutter]

Sort of reminds me of when I used to "split" on other people a lot. Do you have a personality disorder on record?

i dont have a personality disorder, i also dont think id meet the criteria to get a diagnosis for it.

I relate to this in a way.
As the other person said, do you by chance have a personality disorder as well?
I have BPD and my boyfriend is my FP. With his friends, I tend to feel jealousy when he spends time with them to do a session of DnD, or spending time at all.. But I always hide that part from ever coming out. He's happy with the friend group he has and I understand and welcome that, but I can't help the nasty feelings I have. especially when they fight over a small issue.

i dont have personality disorder or have gotten like a diagnosis to know if i do/dont, i think im just really insecure and selfish. i always have a horrible feeling when something negative between my bf & his friends, even playful banter between them makes it harder to hide how i feel.

 

[NormallyNeurotic]

i dont have personality disorder or have gotten like a diagnosis to know if i do/dont, i think im just really insecure and selfish. i always have a horrible feeling when something negative between my bf & his friends, even playful banter between them makes it harder to hide how i feel.

Even so, I recommend looking into resources for people who split like in BPD and sometimes NPD. They can be hard to find, but surprisingly, Tumblr (and even Reddit less so) can have good advice from people who have experienced it themselves.

Whatever is causing your reaction, recognizing that you have a problem is the first step—and if tips for personality disorders help you, well... what works, works!

I wish I had advice aside from that. There is always discussing your feelings with your partner, but maybe it's best to work on yourself/your reactions a bit first.

 

[ScaredCutter]

Even so, I recommend looking into resources for people who split like in BPD and sometimes NPD. They can be hard to find, but surprisingly, Tumblr (and even Reddit less so) can have good advice from people who have experienced it themselves.

Whatever is causing your reaction, recognizing that you have a problem is the first step—and if tips for personality disorders help you, well... what works, works!

I wish I had advice aside from that. There is always discussing your feelings with your partner, but maybe it's best to work on yourself/your reactions a bit first.

thank you, i will look into those! i have talked about it with my partner but it usually stirs conflicts so i avoid doing so, so im just trying to see what im able to do. but, tysm!

edit)) just thought of this now but, how would i suggest getting assested or tested (not sure what word to use) for it to my parents? because i still rely on them and struggle with booking things and being broke.

 

[landmine]

while this is for BPD, maybe some information can help you?

BPD Resources | Trauma Survivors

Comprehensive BPD resources covering relationships, emotional regulation, coping skills, and support for growth and healing.

www.fortraumasurvivors.com

 

[ScaredCutter]

thanks for the suggedtions and such. i judt asked my mum if i could go through the prpccess of seeing snd knowong if id have bd/bpd and i got told what i expected. i got asked why i couldn't explain my reasoning to her, that it doesnt run in the family and such. i did some resesrch earlier and knowing more

im just going to be like this because im insecure and selfish, it was stupid to ask. it was stupid to explain my jealosy and emvious feelings and behaviour. thrre was really no point

 

[NormallyNeurotic]

thanks for the suggedtions and such. i judt asked my mum if i could go through the prpccess of seeing snd knowong if id have bd/bpd and i got told what i expected. i got asked why i couldn't explain my reasoning to her, that it doesnt run in the family and such. i did some resesrch earlier and knowing more

im just going to be like this because im insecure and selfish, it was stupid to ask. it was stupid to explain my jealosy and emvious feelings and behaviour. thrre was really no point

Borderline Personality Disorder isn't completely genetic. It has deep roots in trauma, though genetic predisposition exists. You tried, and that already shows you aren't completely selfish. You're looking for an explanation, and an answer. You did good

 

[ScaredCutter]

Borderline Personality Disorder isn't completely genetic. It has deep roots in trauma, though genetic predisposition exists. You tried, and that already shows you aren't completely selfish. You're looking for an explanation, and an answer. You did good

thank you, its nice hearing this. im usually avoidant of being told i tried and it was a good thing i did. once again, thank you