Discussion Has therapy ever worked for you?

[demuic]

It helped in a way to let out emotions about things I couldn't tell to anyone else in my life.

I think it helps to have a clear goal of what you want to accomplish otherwise it's aimless.

 

[Ghost2211]

I think therapy works better when you have a person you connect well with, and have reasonable expectations. Therapists don't solve our problems. They help us better understand ourselves, and learn how to process and cope better. There is also the element we can't be open about suicide without likely consequences. For the above reasons therapy has become much less efficacious for me. It doesn't change physical reality, and I have a good understanding of coping tools. I still go since it's in my best interest to do so, but it's more a I'm going bitch about things I can't change hour than anything else.

 

[xLosthopex]

It's helped me a lot, in that I'd have been long dead already if it wasn't for it
Being in therapy from such a young age I think has helped me to become very self aware
Still not gonna stop me from ctb though

 

[PDAnnie2610]

With the right person who's trained in trauma responses, it does. The safe space used to be a place where I could cry, express myself and explore my thoughts and actions. She cared, in a professional and detached way and I didn't have to censor myself in my sharing and tears.

Then she left, and others came and go. And I stopped trusting them because there were some after her who showed me how utterly unprofessional and shoddy they were in their work as clinicians. There were also nice ones who helped me by teaching me new skills and gave me the space to feel safe for a while before age kicked in (turning 25 then) and I could no longer qualify for help.

Now, I've learnt to hold my tongue and deal with the urges. But on bad days, SN is a very soothing item to dwell on internally. Therapy has taught me tools to cope and I'm surviving, though thriving seems somewhat impossible.

 

[Hurt]

No it doesn't work for me... I don't wanna waste my time/money on therapists anymore. I agree that they work for some people (and that is good) but not for me.

 

[Miss_Takes]

Wow I am gonna start therapy this Friday and...that really didn't help. Any tip on how I can make this work, because I constantly want to cbt but that would be horrible for my mom. Especially after I told her the reason was because she neglected me completely and made fun of my problems with her friends

It is extremely important I think that you interview your therapist ... find out what approach they will use with your issues and goals and do some research yourself so that you know what to expect. Its important to have a level of trust (once developed) that allows you to challenge your therapist if you disagree with something they suggest or its just not working for you.
Therapists are not gods ... they are not mindreaders ... if you nod and agree with everything most will think theyre doing a super job. A good one will push you out of your comfort zone in a gentle way that helps you feel empowered and will ask for feedback on both the approach and the relationship you develop with them.
Therapy is very much a 2 way street.

A good therapist won't tell you what to do, ie give advice, but will help you to make decisions for yourself.

I challenge this in some ways because a good therapist will provide advice where necessary and appropriate. What they should never do is insist you follow that advice or ignore your reactions and frustrations. Explanations of 'why' are necessary here to and any implementation is always the clients decision.
People come in to therapy because they are stuck in unhelpful patterns of behaviour that have become uncomfortable. If they new the answers they wouldnt need therapy.
I have always found that initially it helps to provide advice and options as people often need to feel as though they have something tangible to leave with.
The goal of therapy should always be, in my opinion, to develop confidence in people so that they can discover and implement their own solutions with therapy being a good place to practise some of these.

Each session should start with a brief planning session (5mins) defining the goal of that session. A skilled therapist will always follow that plan but also allow for variations as required.
And there should always be a formal closure for the session in the form of feedback from the client.

These are merely my thoughts ... therapy is both a simple and complex process but if it starts to feel too simple or too complex time to have the hard conversation with your therapist or start interviewing another (i know this isnt a simple option in many places).

 

[HopelessBorderline]

Therapy made me worse. The frustration of trying to get your point across to a "sane" person who thinks they know shit because they've read a couple of psychology books, It honestly hurt my brain. Like talking to a brick wall. She kept telling me to attempt to control my moods by addressing them in my head, with my inner voice.. "Instead of saying 'I am angry' try saying 'I acknowledge that I am feeling angry'" she would say.
I mean what kind of bs is that. Does it actually work for anybody?!
The worst part is when they say "you take out what you put in", like there is some magic bean available to me that's going to make me suddenly want to put effort in to fixing my suicidal head.
When she convinces me that there is a reason for existence, then she might be on to something.

 

[Nymph]

A good therapist won't tell you what to do, ie give advice, but will help you to make decisions for yourself.

Welp none of my therapists did that:(

 

[signifying nothing]

It is extremely important I think that you interview your therapist ... find out what approach they will use with your issues and goals and do some research yourself so that you know what to expect. Its important to have a level of trust (once developed) that allows you to challenge your therapist if you disagree with something they suggest or its just not working for you.
Therapists are not gods ... they are not mindreaders ... if you nod and agree with everything most will think theyre doing a super job. A good one will push you out of your comfort zone in a gentle way that helps you feel empowered and will ask for feedback on both the approach and the relationship you develop with them.
Therapy is very much a 2 way street.

I challenge this in some ways because a good therapist will provide advice where necessary and appropriate. What they should never do is insist you follow that advice or ignore your reactions and frustrations. Explanations of 'why' are necessary here to and any implementation is always the clients decision.
People come in to therapy because they are stuck in unhelpful patterns of behaviour that have become uncomfortable. If they new the answers they wouldnt need therapy.
I have always found that initially it helps to provide advice and options as people often need to feel as though they have something tangible to leave with.
The goal of therapy should always be, in my opinion, to develop confidence in people so that they can discover and implement their own solutions with therapy being a good place to practise some of these.

Each session should start with a brief planning session (5mins) defining the goal of that session. A skilled therapist will always follow that plan but also allow for variations as required.
And there should always be a formal closure for the session in the form of feedback from the client.

These are merely my thoughts ... therapy is both a simple and complex process but if it starts to feel too simple or too complex time to have the hard conversation with your therapist or start interviewing another (i know this isnt a simple option in many places).

I guess there are different ways of doing things and it depends on the client and what they need.

I needed someone who would essentially let me take control of the therapeutic process from the start because that was probably one of the most fundamental things that had been taken away from me. Challenge and discussion came in later once the relationship had developed a level of trust.

I would not have continued with a therapist who tried to help me in the way you describe. Particularly giving advice initially, as it would have suggested to me that you'd already made the decision that I was weak and couldn't think about things and make decisions for myself in my own time. Its not a great trust builder is it?

Formal closure to a session yes, because time is obviously a factor, but trying to plan each session is restrictive and sets boundaries to a space that should really be allowed to be as expansive and boundless as possible. Planning stifles opportunities to explore things as they arise that could lead to important breakthroughs.

 

[Miss_Takes]

I guess there are different ways of doing things and it depends on the client and what they need.

I needed someone who would essentially let me take control of the therapeutic process from the start because that was probably one of the most fundamental things that had been taken away from me. Challenge and discussion came in later once the relationship had developed a level of trust.

I would not have continued with a therapist who tried to help me in the way you describe. Particularly giving advice initially, as it would have suggested to me that you'd already made the decision that I was weak and couldn't think about things and make decisions for myself in my own time. Its not a great trust builder is it?

Formal closure to a session yes, because time is obviously a factor, but trying to plan each session is restrictive and sets boundaries to a space that should really be allowed to be as expansive and boundless as possible. Planning stifles opportunities to explore things as they arise that could lead to important breakthroughs.

I agree that the approach has to be flexible and support the needs of the individual. Perhaps it is the word 'advice' that is the sticking point initially. Advice isnt a bad thing ... it is not an order for direction ... its merely a suggestion. Some clients do find this helpful because it is more tangible than 'what do you think you should do' when someone is stuck in 'i dont know what to do'. It doesnt suggest that the therapist has made any decision or judgement on a client it merely offers an option ...
I agree that an agenda that doesnt allow for variation isnt helpful but in initial sessions a degree of focus can be helpful ... and I agree again, the therapeutic space should be open safe and boundless however in initial sessions this can be overwhelming and sometimes leads to a feeling of 'what was that about' or 'what do I do now'. Its extremely important to be client directed and often the primary issue of importance to the client comes mid way or 1/2 way through a session and sometimes these issues can be clinically significant and require more than a superficial acknowledgement for the safety of the client.

Many therapists, many clients, many approaches, many mistakes.
I adhere to the fact that a degree of structure though is of value especially in initial sessions and is a 2 way process (even if the agenda is to go with a 'stream of consiousness approach') but a skilled therapist provides both structure and space and will move with their client.

 

[k75]

It can definitely help, but there are a lot of variables. You have to connect with your therapist and there has to be trust. They also need to do a type of therapy that's helpful for your situation. They have to be a good fit.

I had an amazing therapist once who helped me overcome something that had been eating at me for decades. I didn't think I would possibly ever come to terms with it, but she was able to get me to that point.

Unfortunately, most others I've seen have been crap. My current therapist is nice but cluess and basically is just a total waste of time. I'm looking for a new one, but covid is making it especially difficult.

 

[Lupgevif]

I always liked having someone to freely vent to, but it all feels like talking to a wall, because while I can say almost anything I want, nothing my therapists have said in return ever helped me in anyway.

 

[Natty]

I always liked having someone to freely vent to, but it all feels like talking to a wall, because while I can say almost anything I want, nothing my therapists have said in return ever helped me in anyway.

This is how I always feel sharing anything with anyone. Since I currently feel the way that I do I am aware that people just aren't going to be able to empathize without having been there as well. There are also individuals in my life who are so incapable of helping me and are so emotionally stunted that my efforts to share and outpour tend to cause more harm than good. This includes therapy.

There end up being two options, share and feel more horrifically bad and alone, or bottle things up. Both are tragic.

 

[any%]

I guess it is not fair for the therapy/therapists, because I tend to not even give it a try. What I have learned so far is that I am not living in hell, the world is rather a beautiful place, but hell is within me.

 

[Gnip]

They could have saved my life when I was 14 years old by telling the truth that I was a genius to all the asshole faculty members who had been classifying me with Down's syndrome children, but those spineless and retarded cocksuckers instead kissed ass and told their fellow degrees that I was definitely severely deficient. (Years after school, I demanded and finally received a competent comprehensive neuropsychological evaluation which supplied the first of multiple confirmations of my true level of intelligence and abilities, but very long after irreversible damage had taken place.)

So far as I'm concerned, Cambodia's Khmer Rouge did the right thing by herding up degrees and placing them in death camps. I have not ever met a competent therapist with a degree. The best I've met is Tony Robbins, who never attended college, and that is not a coincidence. The mentalist entertainer Kreskin also never attended college.

For quality counseling, I recommend going to Catholic confession or visiting a bartender during quiet hours.

 

[NegativeSymptoms]

No, useless waste of time and money.

 

[Yasuke]

Therapy is useless. You still have to fix your own problems so why pay to talk about them and they give you useless advice of a situation they probably don't even understand because they've never been through it. You think these middle class therapist women and men normies could ever understand the plight of others far less on the totem pole?

 

[WaitingForTheBusInTh]

I never found therapy useful, but I never have been able to do long term therapy. It's all short term here. Pick something you want to resolve in 6 sessions. Like wtf?! It takes twice that just to unload all that baggage off the moving truck! We havent even begun to put sort or put stuff away yet! Also all my therapists have only ever wanted to try CBT, which doesnt work for me. Most laissez faire people I s2g

 

[alice-in-wonderland]

I never found therapy useful, but I never have been able to do long term therapy. It's all short term here. Pick something you want to resolve in 6 sessions. Like wtf?! It takes twice that just to unload all that baggage off the moving truck! We havent even begun to put sort or put stuff away yet! Also all my therapists have only ever wanted to try CBT, which doesnt work for me. Most laissez faire people I s2g

Same! It happened to me 2 times. 2 times I was prescribed CBTs. I refused to proceed when 3rd time the phone assessor tried to send me on one more CBT when I explicitly told her I need a proper therapy.
I do respect the concept of CBTs, but it was too early on my journey and not sure if it would have ever helped me personally later on.

 

[Mooshi]

I've been seeing a therapist for half a year and.... she hasn't helped me at all.
To sum up, every session is like:

"How are you today? How do you feel? What are you thinking of? What will you do next week?"

And that's it. She doesn't ask anything else. Anyway, I have no choice but to lie to her. If I told her "Well, I'm feeling suicidal, I'm thinking about ctb and I will ctb next week" she'd probably send me to a psych ward.

I wish I didn't have to attend therapy but, because of my failed attempt, they're forcing me to do it.

Can anyone relate? Has therapy really helped you? I feel no one can understand me, especially therapists.

I can relate, therapy has never once helped me. The only thing it's done for me is make me feel annoyed and pissed off.

 

[Mentalmick]

I spent a year seeing a psychologist. She was great and while it did help talking about the darker stuff and I felt less guilty about the stuff I did to myself it didn't change anything in the long run. I just don't think that's possible.

 

[violetsaturn]

I've only had one therapist I liked, she did not give a fuck about the "positive thinking" approach that most mental health professionals preach. Which is exactly why I liked her. Unfortunately, she moved to a position in the hospital. She told me she would take me with (as well as a couple other priority patients) however, she ended up ghosting me. Mentally ill therapists tend to be the best AND worst in their field lmao. I think if I had continued with her, I would have come to understand my diagnoses as well as get to the bottom of my self-destructive tendencies. Even though we got along great, I don't think it would have ever changed how I feel about myself and how I feel about suicide. I think some people are just too far gone. I've felt the same about both of those since I was 11.

 

[Mentalmick]

I've only had one therapist I liked, she did not give a fuck about the "positive thinking" approach that most mental health professionals preach. Which is exactly why I liked her. Unfortunately, she moved to a position in the hospital. She told me she would take me with (as well as a couple other priority patients) however, she ended up ghosting me. Mentally ill therapists tend to be the best AND worst in their field lmao. I think if I had continued with her, I would have come to understand my diagnoses as well as get to the bottom of my self-destructive tendencies. Even though we got along great, I don't think it would have ever changed how I feel about myself and how I feel about suicide. I think some people are just too far gone. I've felt the same about both of those since I was 11.

Yes I've been ghosted by quite a few hospital staff as well.

 

[sweetbraid]

I see a really good therapist, for me she's good because she's anti-capitalism and pro-decolonization, and is very educated on trauma and how trauma impacts people long-term, as well as brain injury, being not-cis, etc. Only reason she's good, imo, is because she understands that all my issues are from trauma and/or capitalism and/or colonization or some combination thereof. When I see her we talk about my trauma and coping skills and how to unlearn the ways that my trauma still hurts me. All other forms of therapy or treatment - including psychiatry and medication - have just made me feel worse than I did before. Good therapists, good people too, are hard to find, and if you find one maybe you don't actually get along. But what works for one person is usually drastically different for another. They do exist though - good people who one gets along with well - they just take digging to find. I wish you luck ~

 

[Ender]

Therapy doesn't really work, it can help sometimes though. My therapist actually cares about me, not about money. She also gives me great tips and understands what I'm feeling and experiencing. It's just me really, Im not working.

 

[Lmd]

I had terrible experiences with therapy and I hate. All the people I know have been recovered with therapy was because they choosed where to go. If you have to lie to your therapist and don't feel confident with them then therapy is totally useless for sure.

 

[AtLeastThere'sSalad]

I've been seeing a therapist for half a year and.... she hasn't helped me at all.
To sum up, every session is like:

"How are you today? How do you feel? What are you thinking of? What will you do next week?"

And that's it. She doesn't ask anything else. Anyway, I have no choice but to lie to her. If I told her "Well, I'm feeling suicidal, I'm thinking about ctb and I will ctb next week" she'd probably send me to a psych ward.

I wish I didn't have to attend therapy but, because of my failed attempt, they're forcing me to do it.

Can anyone relate? Has therapy really helped you? I feel no one can understand me, especially therapists.

There are so many shitty therapists out there. It's tough to find one that you feel you can really trust. I've had 4 different therapists in the past few years, and I realized therapists are really just people. They have their own opinions, methods, ideas, education, and personalities, so it's usually best if you can go to a couple therapists as a "trial" if you will. I met a therapist for only one appointment because she immediately was not a good fit. Look around.
Or you can stick with the one you have and just talk about less heavy topics at first. It's a gradually building relationship. Eventually you get to conversations that really matter a lot, but starting out with "I want to die" is super tough. "I'm stressed about the political climate" or "school is hard for me" or "my friends aren't supportive" are easier to start out and see if you can work with the therapist over time. Baby steps.
Also ask about their type of therapy. Learn about how they approach therapy and discuss that in regards to your personal therapy goals.
Kind of a long answer (sorry) but I hope it helps a bit.

 

[Jblack]

Therapy really did nothing for me. I felt like the analyst had a script to follow and did not understand how to relate to my issues. I had one analyst who was very concerned about the time (to make sure not to go over an hour) and check my insurance each session to make sure she got paid. I never believed any of them cared about what I said. The one thing I always was careful about was not to let them know of my thoughts to CTB. Amazingly, each one came up with a different diagnosis and a new set of medications to make me "feel better". I know that some people have great success with a therapist, just not me. I always feel that if it were not for bad luck, I would have no luck. By the way, all the therapists that I have seen were Psychiatrists so they are able to prescribe meds.

 

[Taki]

Therapy has never done anything for me, and neither have meds. My take is that my "issues" aren't fixable and are simply who I am. I've been convinced since I was a kid that I'm doomed to kill myself one day so that is likely true. And frankly I find the "you should really try therapy" talk just a bunch of smug shit.

So I think a good response for many people is "why the hell should it work?"

I had terrible experiences with therapy and I hate. All the people I know have been recovered with therapy was because they choosed where to go. If you have to lie to your therapist and don't feel confident with them then therapy is totally useless for sure.

Yeah I typically realize that there is no point telling them the truth because nothing can be done about it.

 

[L951788]

Therapy is bullshit and they keep notes and those notes are the property of the government. A personal email between me and a therapist was used AGAINST me in a disability case.

Waste of time and waste of money. My mom wanted me to go and my dad would complain about the weekly appointments.

God typing this...hahahah. I hate life. I wanna kill myself and kill other people. Saying this here doesn't get you in trouble unlike therapy.