Has quarantine made anyone else more suicidal

[737492]

Being constantly stuck at home feels like a punishment, especially when I don't know when this will end. It feels endless, honestly. I was pretty depressed before all of this started, but now I really feel like I've hit rock bottom.

 

[AnxietyAttack44]

Partialy. Quarantine made hospitals alot less caring of regular non covid patients, wich caused my husbands unneeded death. He could have been treated and alive now based on consultations with other doctors and hospitals. And that led me here, so partialy it made me suicidal.

 

[Acerakis]

Definitely, I hadn't felt suicidal for maybe a year but the lockdown has been maddening. It meant my placement for my Uni course was cancelled so I missed out on an incredibly useful learning opportunity and I am now dreading what the next year will be like.

 

[Shinbu]

No, I've been the same prior to the outbreak.

 

[Deleted member 18655]

I've been suicidal on and off for decades. Before this COVID B.S., I was actually the happiest I'd been in my life. The week before our Lockdown started I took a trip. When I got off the plane it was like stepping into the Twilight Zone. Everything was different. It freaked me out. I was cut off from everything that made life worth living (none of which has returned to normal). The last straw was losing my job about two months ago.

Now I'm just waiting for the courage to ctb. I'm not sure what in the world I'm waiting for!?I

 

[Hydration]

Absolutely. I have barely spoken to another person outside of my own family in 2 months. It's insanely upsetting and does nothing good for my mental health.

 

[mathieu]

It hasn't made much difference to me because I'm a recluse.

 

[HappyMstake]

Somewhat, but was suicidal before the quarantine anyway.

 

[Darksektori]

Actually I'm enjoying it, the less people I interact with in person the better.
It really isn't different from any other day, I've spent so much time alone that you because callus and start enjoying the isolation and solitude because its really the only thing I have left in this life that resembles any kind of peace or tranquility.
If I could choose the ideal afterlife, a post apocalyptic industrial wasteland where I wonder alone for eternity. I'd be perfectly content with that for eternity, screw eternal peace that's too good a fate for me I'm not deserving of peace and happiness even if it is just an endless eternal void

 

[TimeToBiteTheDust]

No. Still feel suicidal but in some way more relaxed and at peace with the idea. I think my suicidality decreased but I still feel suicidal everyday. I don't know if that is good or not.

 

[Darksektori]

No I I've been wanting it since 13 if I remember you loose track after awhile too where it doesn't even matter how long you suffer anymore, no sense thinking about it

No. Still feel suicidal but in some way more relaxed and at peace with the idea. I think my suicidality decreased but I still feel suicidal everyday. I don't know if that is good or not.
[/QUOTE
are you having any doubts? Or something

 

[Saddaisy]

It would actually be great for me if my pos "partner" hadn't cheated on me. I'm having to act like everything is normal and since we've been stuck here together we've actually gotten along great. Minus the I want to smack the ):?7 out of him and peel my skin off when he touches me.
That's what makes me even more convinced I'm going to be doing the right thing. I'm seeing what we could have been if he didn't cheat.

Actually I'm enjoying it, the less people I interact with in person the better.
It really isn't different from any other day, I've spent so much time alone that you because callus and start enjoying the isolation and solitude because its really the only thing I have left in this life that resembles any kind of peace or tranquility.
If I could choose the ideal afterlife, a post apocalyptic industrial wasteland where I wonder alone for eternity. I'd be perfectly content with that for eternity, screw eternal peace that's too good a fate for me I'm not deserving of peace and happiness even if it is just an endless eternal void

I'm pretty much the same. I hate going out. The only thing I miss is concerts which is weird bc I hate people, but I'll go to the front of the pit of any concert and be everyone's best friend. I guess when you can pretend to be someone else for a night it helps.

 

[MyStateKilledMe]

1000 times yes!

In fact, my state's quarantine laws, one of the strictest in America, was the very reason I decided to CTB. Before the quarantine, I had a very fun, active social life, but my state took it away from me. I was unable to see friends, visit family members, see movies, eat in restaurants, dance with people at a rock concert, etc. All I was able to do was sit at home, watch Netflix, boredom-shop in grocery stores, and go for walks around the neighborhood. After over a month of quarantining like that, I became a shell of my former self, and started hating my life with every fiber of my being. I joined this site, started researched the prices of SN on A, and brought bottles of liquor and Benadryl for "future use".

What stopped me from CTB'ing was, wait for it... joining a radical right-wing group on social media. (My state is overwhelmingly liberal, otherwise it wouldn't have such a strict quarantine.) They liked my satirical, dark-humored anti-government posts on their group page, and invited me to their illegally-hosted party. I had a blast at the party, and became good friends with them, which I totally didn't expect. I've been seeing them once every few weeks ever since: we took a road trip to the next state once, and had a backyard barbecue at one person's house. In other words, I got my social life back, albeit with different people than before. It felt so good to be in the company of my fellow conservatives, that I don't want to CTB anymore.

 

[DeathIsTheWayOut99]

Yup. And no one talks about those who are stuck in abusive households. I am stuck with shitty and toxic and abusive family and I want out desperately. But according to my psychiatrist I have no reason to be suicidal so fuck it

 

[vk1699]

Me. I have family in Canada and I don't see a point in living if I can't go see them.

 

[Emily123]

Yes . it made me more suicidal

 

[SpottedPanda]

Before all this I was periodically toying with the idea of suicide. Since lockdown I've really cemented my desire and plans

 

[Fizzel87]

I pushed it to the back of my mind. Squeeky bum time is on it's way though. I have little hope for the future too when it comes to the economy.

 

[ForensicallyAware]

I definitely feel worse.
To the extent that I think about methods for the first time in a while

 

[NothingElseMatters]

absolutely

 

[Close_to_freedom]

I'm a NEET. My life hasn't changed at all but I was already close to my breaking point before the pandemic.

 

[mpnf]

No.

 

[Krisian13]

Quite the opposite in fact. It's been like life's been put on hold for a while and a lot (not all) of my problems with it.
Now that lockdown has started to be eased in the UK and life is slowly getting back to normal (whatever that means) I can feel all those negative thoughts returning and the anticipation of further easing is filling me with dread.

 

[rikamonie]

coronavirus and lockdown made my long distance relationship impossible and doubtful of when we could meet again, it basically caused the whole arguments and break up of a long term relationship so yeah now i want to die because of that

 

[Quinlor]

Oh yes, lately I am in love with my rope...

 

[NomadicWolf382]

I was even before this whole quarantine started. Has only gotten worse because of it.

 

[Kumachan]

oh yesss definitely. At least not LESS suicidal. Ever watched "shining"? The old timers called it cabin fever...

 

[Sprite_Geist]

Kind of....

I have been feeling suicidal for a long time - way before the Coronavirus lockdown, so it hasn't made me suicidal, but the quarantine has definately reinforced my feelings about why I want to CTB.

One of the reasons I have been wanting to CTB for a long time is because I lack the feeling of belonging; I couldn't fit in when I was a kid, couldn't fit in as a teenager and still can't fit in now. I've never had a group to call my own, and I've never been anyones "best friend" or "sweetheart". To be fair it's partly my own fault as I'm not the most chatty person, but sometimes it's a case of others genuinely wanting nothing to do with me; no matter how much effort I put into trying to mix in.... Basically? I feel unwanted.

Now where I live I've constantly saw people promoting positive messages relating to the Coronavirus lockdown; you know stuff like "We're all in this together!", "Care in the community! Care for each other!" and "Stay connected to each other!". I saw it everywhere - on social media/online, on the TV, on the radio and on signs/posters in buildings. Despite all the nice posts that were thrown around I haven't experienced the so-called "sense of community" and nobody has got back in touch with me; even though I know others are doing the same with each other. In the estate that I live folks in general were still rude to me and each other, and yet they were the same ones with the happy posters on their windows!

I felt just as cut-off and isolated in quarantine as I did before, or in other words: The same business as usual. It hasn't made me suicidal, but I believe it's proven to me that I really am unwanted.

EDIT: I'm not saying I am/was against the lockdown measures; I actually think it needed to be done to stop the spread of the virus, and I'm also not saying that everyone is uncaring like the folks that I vaguely mentioned. My post was made more about the area that I live in - locally.

 

[MyStateKilledMe]

Now where I live I've constantly saw people promoting positive messages relating to the Coronavirus lockdown; you know stuff like "We're all in this together!", "Care in the community! Care for each other!" and "Stay connected to each other!". I saw it everywhere - on social media/online, on the TV, on the radio and on signs/posters in buildings. Despite all the nice posts that were thrown around I haven't experienced the so-called "sense of community" and nobody has got back in touch with me; even though I know others are doing the same with each other. In the estate that I live folks in general were still rude to me and each other, and yet they were the same ones with the happy posters on their windows!

All those posters and ad campaigns strike me as cheap, transparent virtue-signaling. Not to mention, they're self-contradictory: we are NOT "together" if we're forced apart by dumb politicians and their laws. Not unlike doublethink from "1984". But worst of all are those "#StayHome" Facebook picture frames.

I honestly felt more "together" and "connected" after attending an illegal party I found, that I did after months of looking at those stupid posters and ads.

 

[737492]

All those posters and ad campaigns strike me as cheap, transparent virtue-signaling. Not to mention, they're self-contradictory: we are NOT "together" if we're forced apart by dumb politicians and their laws. Not unlike doublethink from "1984". But worst of all are those "#StayHome" Facebook picture frames.

I honestly felt more "together" and "connected" after attending an illegal party I found, that I did after months of looking at those stupid posters and ads.

I fucking hate those #stayhome things on social media too. It's easy for people to say that when they've got loving families and significant others to cuddle up with at home, and no financial burdens from being unable to work.