Has postponing ctb actually improved lives?

[soul2realm]

Has postponing ctb ever led to significant improvement in someone's life? It sure did not in my case and I have seen a gradual decline in overall quality and an increase in problems.

 

[Sphinxi]

I tried to kill myself about four years ago, and for a few years after that I had a pretty good life. I have a picture of myself smiling dated to 2023. It got worse again, though.

I think a lot of suicides are impulsive and poorly thought through. Many of us have lives that could be worth living.

 

[BillyBob]

Not doing it has made life worse for me. Health mentally and physically has declined in a big way that I regret not going through with it earlier and now I feel stuck in a spot in life that I have no clue what to do anymore.
Just waiting for that final thing that will just push me to far that it seals my fate.
Hoping it comes sooner then later.

 

[sanctionedusage]

if it truly has, most wouldnt come back to tell us about it. if it got marginally better enough for an impulsive simpleton to not want to ctb anymore, then the advice/anecdote would be pretty useless to anyone here dealing with a larger problem and a more serious desire to ctb. a lot of the times it's this 2nd category that preaches prolife shit and feels most entitled to because they verbalized the words "i want to die" at one point.

 

[nintendo64]

First time I tried to ctb was around 7 or 8 years ago, all that postponing or failing has accomplished is more traumatic and fucked up stuff happening to me and no improvements in my depression or life.

 

[Captive_Mind515]

I tried to kill myself about four years ago, and for a few years after that I had a pretty good life. I have a picture of myself smiling dated to 2023. It got worse again, though.

I think a lot of suicides are impulsive and poorly thought through. Many of us have lives that could be worth living.

But for anyone who impulsively ctb, they didn't miss out on any potential better life.

Where as, for those of us who stuck around, things often get a whole lot worse. In my case they did. Not that I was consciously sticking around thinking everything would be better… but just going through the motions and not being decisive in my actions.

I think quite a lot of people are stuck like that, so it's quite unlikely that life will improve significantly if you're totally stuck in some kind of malaise.

 

[Sphinxi]

But for anyone who impulsively ctb, they didn't miss out on any potential better life.

Yes but many people ctb in response to, say, a breakup or a loss in their life, which people usually bounce back from.

Being suicidal for extended periods of time is exhausting and deeply damaging, I think

 

[NormallyNeurotic]

If I had killed myself earlier then I never would have felt what being in love is like, so there's that. Life still has gotten shittier, but that was something on my bucket list that I honestly didn't know I'd ever experience.

 

[Captive_Mind515]

Yes but many people ctb in response to, say, a breakup or a loss in their life, which people usually bounce back from.

Being suicidal for extended periods of time is exhausting and deeply damaging, I think

But if they're dead, they still haven't actually been deprived of anything.

And something even worse might have been waiting for them 2 years down the line, like a bad health diagnoses or something. There is an optimism bias in our culture, which often isn't borne out in the results people get in life.

 

[Sphinxi]

But if they're dead, they still haven't actually been deprived of anything.

And something even worse might have been waiting for them 2 years down the line, like a bad health diagnoses or something. There is an optimism bias in our culture, which often isn't borne out in the results people get in life.

The average person isn't suicidal, though. Most people would actually prefer to live their life for one reason or another, and that is the mean most people regress towards.
Some people are depressive and have a lower average mood, but I'm not talking about those people when I say an impulsive suicide. What I mean is people who's average mood is otherwise good, who have a setback and ctb. In all likelihood, this person would've gone back to their non suicidal baseline with enough time. I find those deaths tragic.

 

[lpdsvm]

I will do it when I am about to become useless. Nothing to regret. Simple math. Plus that feeling makes me mad but no impulse to CTB still useful a bit

 

[Captive_Mind515]

The average person isn't suicidal, though. Most people would actually prefer to live their life for one reason or another, and that is the mean most people regress towards.
Some people are depressive and have a lower average mood, but I'm not talking about those people when I say an impulsive suicide. What I mean is people who's average mood is otherwise good, who have a setback and ctb. In all likelihood, this person would've gone back to their non suicidal baseline with enough time. I find those deaths tragic.

It can be tragic for the people who cared about them, but I never find myself feeling sorry for a dead person. I don't really get the logic of that tbh.

 

[Sphinxi]

It can be tragic for the people who cared about them, but I never find myself feeling sorry for a dead person. I don't really get the logic of that tbh.

I don't just find the existence of something negative tragic, I find the absence of something positive tragic

 

[Captive_Mind515]

I don't just find the existence of something negative tragic, I find the absence of something positive tragic

I've seen quite a lot of anti abortion people espouse the same sentiment, where they consider the loss of a potential happy life to be a tragedy when someone has an abortion. But they are displaying optimism bias imo.

They would ignore people like us, and millions of others in society, where their lives went horribly wrong.

 

[thefarter]

No. All it was was misplaced hope. It's dumb. No use waiting around and trying to feel better. Nothing gets better after being doxxed.


If you guys are in a totally different situation, however. Like you haven't been doxxed. Then yes, things can potentially get better.

 

[Captive_Mind515]

If I had killed myself earlier then I never would have felt what being in love is like, so there's that. Life still has gotten shittier, but that was something on my bucket list that I honestly didn't know I'd ever experience.

I've never experienced that. But if I drop dead right this minute, I can't be deprived of it either. And neither could you, if you'd died earlier.

 

[NormallyNeurotic]

I've never experienced that. But if I drop dead right this minute, I can't be deprived of it either. And neither could you, if you'd died earlier.

You sure suffer from some clinically significant black-and-white thinking, my dude.

All my life I was told that love was pain, because that way I'd just accept abuse. I was deprived of love, and I'm glad that I experience feeling what it's like to be in love with someone of pure intentions, at least once.

You gained nothing from replying this to my comment aside from reinforcing your own nihilism. This is an open thread, not your "is living a good thing" debate forum.

 

[Captive_Mind515]

You sure suffer from some clinically significant black-and-white thinking, my dude.

All my life I was told that love was pain, because that way I'd just accept abuse. I was deprived of love, and I'm glad that I experience feeling what it's like to be in love with someone of pure intentions, at least once.

You gained nothing from replying this to my comment aside from reinforcing your own nihilism. This is an open thread, not your "is living a good thing" debate forum.

I don't believe in nihilism.

But you're right it is an open thread. And I like to question ideas. I gain plenty from that.

 

[Arvayn]

It depends entirely on each person's unique circumstances. For some people, it will improve; for others, it won't.
For me, I am rather indifferent to the fact that I failed to die. I do not view it as a relief, because I know that any condition hinging on 'I' would have ceased to matter had I succeeded. I also do not view it as a tragedy, because my mental state improved afterwards and I find living to be tolerable now. For the record, I disagree with anyone who says that I was not in a rational state of mind, and that I am only capable of rationality again now that I am recovered.

I wouldn't say that I love life; there are things that bother me which will never be fixed; things I want that I will never have, and will sadden me for as long as I breathe. However, I have found other things that are enjoyable enough for me to choose to stick around. Enough pleasure makes displeasure tolerable in contrast.

But, short answer: Yes, postponing improved my life. I'm one of the lucky ones. Will it improve it for everyone? No. Is it still worth trying? I'd say yes, unless you don't have any hope left and you're fully certain that you don't care about missing out on any future possibilities.

 

[NormallyNeurotic]

I don't believe in nihilism.

But you're right it is an open thread. And I like to question ideas. I gain plenty from that.

That wasn't questioning and you know it lmao. You stated your opinion as fact and tried to "disprove" my positive reply about my own life/experience. Other people are allowed to find meaning in life, even if you don't. I was replying to the original post, not you.

 

[Captive_Mind515]

That wasn't questioning and you know it lmao. You stated your opinion as fact and tried to "disprove" my positive reply. Other people are allowed to find meaning in life, even if you don't.

I do think what I said was factually correct, yes, but I was still just expressing one person's opinion. I never said anyone needs to agree with me. It's just an alternative view.

I'm sorry you got upset by my comment. I don't think there was anything offensive in it, but it's unfortunate that you took it that way. I wish you well. :)

 

[kufajoy]

Ig most of the people who recovered from postponing date are not regular in this site. But personally I don't think it gets better

 

[DeathSweetDeath]

It's not the postponing that improves lives, it's that some people's lives were going to improve anyway. If your problems are of the temporary variety and you're motivated to change your situation, then there's a good chance your life may improve. But sometimes shitty temporary problems are just replaced by other shitty temporary problems, and some of us are suicidal because we actually have permanent problems, in which case postponing only leads to prolonged suffering.

 

[Deepdense]

For me it did. But a big part of it is your mindset. If you're only looking for the bad things you're going to find a lot more and feel worse about them.

 

[Cyc]

It depends on the person tbh. For one of my exes, postponing his ctb allowed him to think about whether he actually wanted to go through with it or not. Now he's living a good life surrounded by good people and has a bright future ahead.

For me though, it made my life worse. I've gone through so much more trauma thanks to living. I've also had a few good moments and met a few good people, but it's mostly made me realise how much I want to die

I agree with @Sphinxi many people attempt suicide on impulse, especially those who had never felt suicidal before imo. I think it's because death is often seen as an "easy way out" when in reality it's extremely difficult due to SI and the risk of getting caught

If I had killed myself earlier then I never would have felt what being in love is like, so there's that. Life still has gotten shittier, but that was something on my bucket list that I honestly didn't know I'd ever experience.

Same here. Falling in love can completely change you as a person, and I don't regret most of the relationships I've been in

 

[Parnate]

For me it has got better, but I am a toxic work environment and financial issues, else life would be great now.

 

[Terrible_Life]

No absolutely not, I wish I killed myself years ago maybe with 18/19

 

[pthnrdnojvsc]

No not for me . i should've killed myself 3 years 8 months ago when i got the means . all i had to do was defeat my si. i feared my si calling the ER hospital or ambulance as i've seen many here do after ingesting a poison. going to the ER cause of my condition would be the worst thing ever .and they probably would take away my means to kill myself and put me in a mental hospital for months for attempting suicide . i can't even stay a day from this controlled environment i'm in and no one would ever understand.

denial/brainwashing and horrible addictons like youtube social media tv that kept me distracted from reality and what i need to do .

but even if i didn't have horrible problems and had an average life after thinking rationally i would still want to suicide asap and should 've 3 years 8 months ago.

we are all going to die soon anyway , how fast did the last 5 years fly by? the meaningless pleasure addictions are that fleeting. the horror is a second of the worst pain can seem to last for years. and no way i want to go through even 10 seconds of the worst most unbearable pain.

i see a great assymetry between worst pain and the fleeting pleasure addictions.

the most horrible things that can happen to anyone far outweigh the meaningless fleeting pleasure addictions.

i just calculated the yearly probability of being burned over 25% of the skin on body is 1/17,000 which corresponds to 1 in 218 over a lifetime of 79 years . so every human has 1 in 218 lifetime probability of being burned over 25% of body. and this is only one horror. burning like that is unimaginable pain. lifetime cancer is like 1 out 7 chances much higher.

the brain is a torture chamber . this is just one example. they couldn't torture a dead corpse because then they can feel no pain.

what's worth going though something like this? is eating a sandwich or watching a video worth this or a stroke and dementia? and who would say that this and pain is not objectively bad? :

 

[catsalvation]

There are always ups and downs. If we continue we (may) have a chance to experience positive things. I think it's not that we don't think it is possible, we just - after a point - don't have the capacity or will to try again and again anymore... It also gets harder as time goes on... At least I feel this way...

 

[Scythe]

I would say yes for the general populations, that's why you see so many pro-lifers, and suicidal people who go on to preach "it gets better" after they recover.