Venting Has opening up ever helped you?

[ABadPerson]

People irl ask me a lot if I'm fine, it might be the dark circles but I usually answer yes I'm okay as how else am I supposed to answer?
Majority of these people who ask don't want a real response, they just want to show they care for self-indulgence, which I won't judge I guess.

As I put on a constant friendly front in real life, I suppose people just feel more incline to ask that unprompted even without really knowing me.

But these moments would remind me of when I did try to open up, where I usually just come out worse doing so, even when it wasn't the person's intention; I have had many experiences where it actively ruined the relationship/friendship as people just get distant with genuine suicidal tendencies that aren't just aesthetic, with my biggest regret being on how open I was on my one attempt prior to it, it caused a lot of tension which I didn't care to deal with at the time thinking it was gonna be the end finally yet it wasn't.

And that compressed tension just erupted into several things in my face soon after, all because of my mistake of thinking I'd receive support; I guess it was also the day that finally affirmed to me that nobody really cared for me specifically, maybe they care for certain aspects of me but not me, so for what reason would I ever open up?
I don't think people are uncaring in general, it's just towards me. Even my own mother and absent father never cared for me, so I'm not sure what I expected… I find myself insufferable as well, so I understand the sentiments.

I'm wondering, has someone genuinely helped you in any way after opening up once? Even if minor.

 

[Bootleg Astolfo]

Nah, they just make everything infinitely worse. The best you can hope for is if you can somehow machiavelian yourself into forcing them to do something usefull.

 

[PI3.14]

No

 

[niki wonoto]

In reality, (most) people will just simply judge you negatively, sadly.

There is a reason why ChatGPT (or chat with AI) has become increasingly more popular & common today, and that's because people like us sadly just can't open up / share deeply about what's in our deepest mind, heart, & soul, to people (especially to the people IRL (in real life), whether it's family, friends, etc2). People even just got so repulsed by even just a slightest tiny little 'negativity', especially in today's 'toxic positivity' era! And it doesn't even matter whether what we're speaking is THE harsh truth/fact/reality; people just only want to hear about the 'good things' only! eg: all those happy, success, famous stuff blah2 etc2! Basically all those 'normies / normal' stuff.

Honestly, now I can't even share anything anymore even in my "Profile Post" here in this forum/website! Because I'm afraid (anxiety/anxious) that some people IRL (in real life) probably have (somehow) found & read what I've wrote/shared here... yes, it's just really sad, frustrating, & depressing...

People will (simply!) just only judge you 'negatively' ! without even trying to UNDERSTAND / LISTEN to you first!... with deep empathy / understanding / sincerity / genuine ears & heart & mind to listen deeply & patiently without judging ...

People are disappointing...

Human's nature is disappointing...

 

[TwistedNightmares]

No, it hasn't. Usually people ignore/ghost me, or make me feel worse when I open up.

 

[Hollowman]

Nope it's pointless to try anymore.

 

[sunnysidedown]

only if it's to someone i know/suspect is going through the same thing. there's some comfort in shared misery
to other people? it never ends well

 

[Arvayn]

Yes, it did help me when I was going through a period of severe depression, but I am in the minority here. I am fortunate enough to have close friends who do not push pro-life rhetoric and rather discuss my thoughts and feelings in a complex and objective manner. Their policy has always been 'You can do it if you want, but...', and I think they served as a great counterweight to my general pessimism at the time.
As much as I'd like to say opening up can help, from what I've heard, my experience with it is a one in a million. It's much more likely that you'll be shamed or ridiculed, or simply given platitudes.

 

[psychosis]

People irl ask me a lot if I'm fine, it might be the dark circles but I usually answer yes I'm okay as how else am I supposed to answer?
Majority of these people who ask don't want a real response, they just want to show they care for self-indulgence, which I won't judge I guess.

As I put on a constant friendly front in real life, I suppose people just feel more incline to ask that unprompted even without really knowing me.

But these moments would remind me of when I did try to open up, where I usually just come out worse doing so, even when it wasn't the person's intention; I have had many experiences where it actively ruined the relationship/friendship as people just get distant with genuine suicidal tendencies that aren't just aesthetic, with my biggest regret being on how open I was on my one attempt prior to it, it caused a lot of tension which I didn't care to deal with at the time thinking it was gonna be the end finally yet it wasn't.

And that compressed tension just erupted into several things in my face soon after, all because of my mistake of thinking I'd receive support; I guess it was also the day that finally affirmed to me that nobody really cared for me specifically, maybe they care for certain aspects of me but not me, so for what reason would I ever open up?
I don't think people are uncaring in general, it's just towards me. Even my own mother and absent father never cared for me, so I'm not sure what I expected… I find myself insufferable as well, so I understand the sentiments.

I'm wondering, has someone genuinely helped you in any way after opening up once? Even if minor.

Honestly, yes. But ideally you should pick someone who can be empathetic to you rather then sympathetic. I know for me personally that the reason I am so close with the friends I am is because we could bond over being suicidal. There's a big difference in talking to most people and people who are also having similar problems, because most people would love to do anything they can to keep you alive because it aligns with their morals, unlike people who have those problems you also struggle with who tend to bounce off you and, if not "understanding how you feel", just sharing there own experience. Also the people in the same boat as you usually lean to not feeling like your death is something that should be prevented at all costs and rather something that people experience and something that isn't unjustifiable. On another note, telling my therapist got me hella free sessions so sometimes telling people can benefit you lol.

 

[ScornedStoic]

No. 75% of the time nobody understands and just make it worse. 20% of the time it's neutral and nothing happens. The 5% of the time someone does understand, it makes me feel worse because they can't help and I don't want anyone to feel this way.

 

[asaṅkhata]

Not really, no. In my experience, the only times people will actually believe you is if they have gone through something similar themselves. Otherwise the best thing you can expect is some curtious remarks, but no real compassion or understanding.

I've clme to accept this fact a long time ago and it doesn't bother me anymore.

 

[kopebaldy]

No

If anything, I make the other person worried for nothing.

 

[butterbutter143]

it's helped me feel better in the moment, but long term not really. the people i usually vent to are my friends, and what more can they do to help anyway?

 

[ungodly]

to an extent yeah, but i keep most people beyond arms length when it comes to that because all they ever do is go OH NO and then they freak out on me lol.

its not completely hopeless but 99% of the time people's reactions just make me feel worse

 

[Forever Sleep]

Yes but, I'm very careful about who I open up to. Usually, it's people who have also experienced ideation. I had a half joking, half serious pact with a friend at primary school that we would go together but, it definitely helped for at least someone to realise how much I was struggling.

I suppose in a way though, maybe I'm more of what you refered to as 'aesthetically' suicidal. Not that it makes it any less serious for me but, an actual suicide attempt doesn't feel on the cards for me until my Dad goes. So- I suppose people I have told are maybe less troubled that it's something I could act on any second.

I think that can make people nervous. I suppose it's the realisation that they are now caught up in it. Their actions could now affect whether someone lives or dies. In a way, I suppose I can see why people don't want to be mixed up with someone so near the edge. It's cruel to just abandon someone but, maybe they feel like they can't emotionally cope.

I've actually had the reverse experience though- that it's never been terribly bad when I have told people. I don't think any have put up opposition. I suppose either they don't particularly care or, they don't believe I'm going to do it. As I've said though- I've not really hinted at actually doing it, having a method etc. to anyone.

Where things have gone wrong is when I've let slip things to family. Not suicide outright but, just how much I'm struggling and resent life effectively. That's only really caused upset all around.

 

[azo]

I don't think so. There are just things it would take a lot of effort to explain, and I'm generally too conscious of being overbearing, and couldn't really lose my inhibitions with most people even if I tried. I've always preferred journaling or posting on my profile page if I need to let something out since in those places I can use all the words I want, because no one else is compelled to read/interact with them. Ultimately I know my psychological configuration best—there are too many steps of inference to be covered, to enable someone else to potentially understand, and though I'd be thrilled to try, I know I can't reasonably expect reception to that degree (outside a professional, transactional context, perhaps).

 

[starboy2k]

opening up has helped me figure out exactly who NOT to open up to anymore