Has depression affected your sex drive?

[SuicidalSymphonies]

I've noticed that a lot of people in my life suffering from depression have lost their otherwise enjoyment of sex.

Another thing I wanted to know is if your partner has issues with being sexual do to something traumatizing that happened to them, is there any way to help them have the confidence they deserve to have? I know it's a strange question, but I'm trying to recover in all aspects of the word.

Thanks for reading if you did! x

 

[Shamana]

Mainly antidepressants destroyed my sexdrive. Permanently unfortunately.

 

[SuicidalSymphonies]

Mainly antidepressants destroyed my sexdrive. Permanently unfortunately.

Antidepressants never effected that for me.. I am sorry they did that to you.

Hugs x
Didn't realise I spelled due** wrong. Woops.

 

[Chiyuki99]

Quite the opposite for me I would say.

 

[SuicidalSymphonies]

Quite the opposite for me I would say.

Interesting.. I wonder why!

That's good news, though.

 

[Claudia]

That's one thing that anti- depressants hasn't ruined for me. In fact I think somehow it's made me more experimental, less boundaries, I'm not sure why.

 

[SuicidalSymphonies]

That's one thing that anti- depressants hasn't ruined for me. In fact I think somehow it's made me more experimental, less boundaries, I'm not sure why.

To me, that's a positive! I'm glad to hear you haven't lost your drive and are experimenting. x

 

[Matthias_k]

For me Depression = No sex drive. And Antidepressants = Anorgasmia. It's been going on for years and get worse over time.

 

[Mr2005]

Sex drives never suffered. I don't always want to because I hate myself too much but that's a different issue

 

[Doormat]

I've noticed that a lot of people in my life suffering from depression have lost their otherwise enjoyment of sex.

Another thing I wanted to know is if your partner has issues with being sexual do to something traumatizing that happened to them, is there any way to help them have the confidence they deserve to have? I know it's a strange question, but I'm trying to recover in all aspects of the word.

Thanks for reading if you did! x

I did read it and yes - I haven't had any sort of intimacy for the last 20 years. I'm a bit of an emotional fuckwit so I keep my distance to protect myself but when I see other people connecting I admit that I feel envious. From what I have read it is quite a common side effect.

 

[SuicidalSymphonies]

For me Depression = No sex drive. And Antidepressants = Anorgasmia. It's been going on for years and get worse over time.

Oh wow.. Yeah, I guess I'm the same way. My happy pills keep my sex drive going.

Sex drives never suffered. I don't always want to because I hate myself too much but that's a different issue

That's understandable.. I have that issue as well. Feeling unattractive and undesirable. It's a tough area.

Hugs x

I did read it and yes - I haven't had any sort of intimacy for the last 20 years. I'm a bit of an emotional fuckwit so I keep my distance to protect myself but when I see other people connecting I admit that I feel envious. From what I have read it is quite a common side effect.

That's a long time! It's only been since August for me, but I don't suffer from the lack of sex, probably the intimacy for sure.

It does seem to be fairly common which is a shame. Sending you love and light. x

 

[a_strange_day]

That's one thing that anti- depressants hasn't ruined for me. In fact I think somehow it's made me more experimental, less boundaries, I'm not sure why.

Because SSRIs lower inhibitions, especially Fluoxetine. The first two years I was on Prozac, I was a sex machine :) But it didn't last, alas !

 

[YukiFox]

I can't enjoy sex. I mean, I can watch porn and masturbate but, the idea to being with someone makes me panic. I hate sex advances or suggestions, I hate nude pics, I hate when someone talks with me about sex, specially if that someone hire an escort. Anyway, I'm consider that I overcame the deepest part of my deppresion, but the sex drive didn't return yet, or even wasn't there really (That mental state makes me wonder if I'm asexual).

 

[glittergore]

I still have a sex drive, but it's small. In fact, when I start getting more sexual, it's usually a sign I'm entering a manic episode. I have a lot of hang-ups when it comes to sex though, a lot of insecurities and reservations, so maybe that's why my desire is low. I don't think it's the depression or any of my medication.

 

[schopenh]

When I was very depressed a few years ago I developed a massively diminished sex drive and erectile dysfunction. On SNRI and tricyclic anti-depressants I also had a diminished sex drive

 

[Theodora]

All I do is get off and think about killing myself at the same time ?¿

 

[Philosykos]

All I do is get off and think about killing myself at the same time ?¿

That's so hot. I'm sorry I couldn't resist.
I can kinda relate I think? Before I took hormones, getting off was a nice way to kind of pass the time when the urge arose but did nothing to take my mind off of my depression completely.

So, to answer the question: No, depression didn't kill my libido, the hormones did. Depression just... sped up the process I suppose.

 

[Claudia]

Because SSRIs lower inhibitions, especially Fluoxetine. The first two years I was on Prozac, I was a sex machine :) But it didn't last, alas !

It lowers inhibitions seriously? No one ever told me that. Since being on these pills I've had multiple affairs with women (husband knows), posted my body on various porn and fetish/ bdsm sites, and got heavily into very rough sex in my marriage, eg painal, cnc, slapping, degradation.. I didn't do that stuff really before the pills.

 

[Grey-zone]

SSRIs might have messed with my daily erections, since I've barely had any for 13 years unless I masturbate, or that might have been the effect of compulsive porn browsing on a daily basis--or both, maybe both. Anyway, I don't think it really matters; sex is over-rated anyway. I'm in a mostly sexless relationship and doubt I will ever be with a woman I'm attracted to, so if depression numbs sexual desire it is probably a beneficial coping mechanism as the person ages. Being depressed and with a high sex-drive would be truly a miserable situation, unless you have the social skills/relationships to consummate the urges. I'm thankful my sexuality is tame. I'm miserable enough as is.
I think the idea that someone "needs" a high sex-drive is a popular modern Western myth, an artifact of our obsession with greed and success (or sexcess). Mix this with the post-hippie idea of "being natural and unrepressed" and you have a lot of unhappy, but sexually preoccupied people. It's best to be open about sex, rather than treating it as some sort of religious taboo, but it is not necessary for a good life. You shouldn't confuse it with being a good person or having a fulfilling existence (as I have at times).

 

[Deleted member 17949]

I've never had a partner so I can only gauge by how I feel, but yeah at times I feel put off the thought entirely because I just feel so exhausted. I'm not on medication or anything, the interest just vanishes.

As for helping someone else the first step is probably to talk openly about it to them and try to understand how they actually feel. Allow them to have their boundaries and comfort zones so that they always feel in control of the situation. Aside from that, be sure to do the usual and reassure and compliment them so that they feel wanted, and try to be patient and remind them that they can do things at their own pace. You want the situation to be as non-threatening as possible for them.

 

[Chiyuki99]

Interesting.. I wonder why!

That's good news, though.

To be honest, most of the time, no matter if I'm the one initiating or if it is my boyfriend, I'm not even horny. I just want sex because I love feeling close to him.I like being held and getting all of his attention. It makes me feel less alone.

 

[Jumper Geo]

Mainly antidepressants destroyed my sexdrive. Permanently unfortunately.

Have you tried any sexual stimulants or a large dose of Viagra I'm not sure these days but Jesus back in the 90's a girl I was with loved sniffing Amyl Nitrate and I started sniffing it and it blew my head off for about 60 seconds but the orgasm was incredible afterwards but you got to keep sniffing and after a while you will get a pounding headache, but they changed the formula and it's crap now no matter what Country you get it in unless you get it from the hospital as they still give it, if you've had an heart attack or transplant.

I mentioned Amyl Nitrate as you weren't erect it had the opposite effect it just made you so horny but once it wore off you would get erect and have an incredible orgasm.

Anyway good luck I suffer similar with risperidone another side effect they don't tell you about.

Cheers

Geo

 

[Brokenwithbpd]

My sex drive has reduced significantly Over the last few years

 

[Jumper Geo]

I've never had a partner so I can only gauge by how I feel, but yeah at times I feel put off the thought entirely because I just feel so exhausted. I'm not on medication or anything, the interest just vanishes.

As for helping someone else the first step is probably to talk openly about it to them and try to understand how they actually feel. Allow them to have their boundaries and comfort zones so that they always feel in control of the situation. Aside from that, be sure to do the usual and reassure and compliment them so that they feel wanted, and try to be patient and remind them that they can do things at their own pace. You want the situation to be as non-threatening as possible for them.

Try MDMA in a party atmosphere not on you own, you may enjoy yourself.

Cheers

Geo

 

[catmom13]

I don't think I've had sex for 3 months at least. There's no feeling of wanting it or needing it. My sex drive went from high to non-existent in a span of 6 years due to my medications. I take antidepressants and antipsychotics.

 

[SuicidalSymphonies]

I don't think I've had sex for 3 months at least. There's no feeling of wanting it or needing it. My sex drive went from high to non-existent in a span of 6 years due to my medications. I take antidepressants and antipsychotics.

Sorry to hear that! My medications help my sex drive. Because I feel more "normal". Not really normal, but you get the gist.

I hope you can figure out some way to get it back.

I love your username! Hugs x

 

[Pryras]

No, but getting assaulted did

 

[SuicidalSymphonies]

No, but getting assaulted did

I am so sorry that happened to you.. As someone who has lived through it myself, I am sending you love and light for your journey. Whichever way you go.

Life after sexual abuse is so different. Everything changes. Especially your outlook. You did not deserve that at all... x

 

[catmom13]

Sorry to hear that! My medications help my sex drive. Because I feel more "normal". Not really normal, but you get the gist.

I hope you can figure out some way to get it back.

I love your username! Hugs x

Thank you! It's hard to find the motivation for something you're not really into but I try. Maybe someday~

 

[il4]

My sex drive disappears when I'm depressed but I see no problems with that. Like someone else in this thread, the idea of sex or being intimate with someone terrifies me. I would rather not have a sex drive tbh. I still crave human connection when I'm not depressed but the thought of actually getting intimate with someone freaks me out.
When I was with my long-distance ex (I would do long distance on purpose due to my fear), I tried to voice these concerns but she just ignored them and eventually forgot. Every sexual thing we did caused a ton of anxiety and I hated it. Hating my skinny body and not knowing how to fix it at the time also contributed to this. I think a lot of it stemmed from my parents making fun of me and my brother whenever we even got close to girls when we were younger (ex. my mom made relationship jokes about my brother for years just because he was friends with a girl) but a lot of other things (like going to an all boys' school) have contributed to it as well.

In regards to helping someone who's had something traumatizing happen to them surrounding sex, idk to be honest.. I guess just take it slow and communicate. Depending on the person, they might try to push forward with doing something that they feel uncomfortable doing because you want it; constant communication could help you realize what's happening and slow things down for their sake. I can only speak from my own experiences and that's all I have, srry