Has anyone’s abusive/neglectful parents ever acknowledged later in life and you reconciled?

  • Never acknowledged, we don’t speak

  • Never acknowledged, but on ok terms

  • Never acknowledged, but on great terms

  • Acknowledged, but not forgiven, we don’t speak

  • Acknowledged, we are on ok terms

  • Acknowledged, all is forgiven, in great terms


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todiefor

todiefor

Scrap that, nothing matters at all after all
Jun 24, 2023
474
Do any neglectful/abusive parents ever acknowledge what they did?

Has anyone gone to therapy with their parents and your parents learnt to acknowledge things they did?

Has anyone reconciled with their neglectful/abusive parents and now have a close relationship with them?

Do such fairytales exist?
 
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alonely

alonely

exists by being merely labeled
Jul 1, 2023
471
No, I cut contact shortly after i moved out for college. They would never.
 
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todiefor

todiefor

Scrap that, nothing matters at all after all
Jun 24, 2023
474
No, I cut contact shortly after i moved out for college. They would never.
:(, yeah I wonder what it takes for parents to be able to say hey, in hindsight all the x things I did harmed you, I'm sorry. Is it really that difficult
 
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daft

daft

Master of none.
Apr 19, 2023
15
I couldn't bring it up - he died of cancer before I could break his nose like he threatened to do to me throughout my childhood. You know... now that I was actually his size, and an adult. So it's just festered for years, that desire for revenge.
 
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saddestbunny

saddestbunny

pastebin.com/xJuaSE0j
Feb 16, 2023
203
they've apologized but it changes nothing - they don't fully understand what they've done and to their perspective they just want to move on. any problem I'd bring up with them they assume I'm being difficult but they do apologize if I want them to. it just feels fake though. I don't think they can ever "get it" and just want me to stop bothering them with it
 
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crimsonpool

crimsonpool

hikikomori
May 15, 2023
94
nope,theyre the kind of people who are incapable of comprehending that they caused damage. even if they magically did i wouldn't forgive them anyways
 
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todiefor

todiefor

Scrap that, nothing matters at all after all
Jun 24, 2023
474
they've apologized but it changes nothing - they don't fully understand what they've done and to their perspective they just want to move on. any problem I'd bring up with them they assume I'm being difficult but they do apologize if I want them to. it just feels fake though. I don't think they can ever "get it" and just want me to stop bothering them with it
Yeah I know exactly what you mean, like very reluctant apology, didn't really actually engage and empathise with what you are saying, said it because they are hoping to just move on from the topic and have it resolved, so everything is great now right? NO
 
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2

277

Member
Jan 25, 2023
9
Only to come at a new angle on how it was still my fault for making her so angry, there'll be verbal acknowledgement that punching an 8 year old in the face over having put a wrong answer on grade school homework, in real time she'd stand there screaming at me the entire time I was doing it and repeatedly hit me if something was even slightly wrong, but it's always "I had anger problems, and you after all..." then we go right back to "you were such a bad kid".
 
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todiefor

todiefor

Scrap that, nothing matters at all after all
Jun 24, 2023
474
Only to come at a new angle on how it was still my fault for making her so angry, there'll be verbal acknowledgement that punching an 8 year old in the face over having put a wrong answer on grade school homework, in real time she'd stand there screaming at me the entire time I was doing it and repeatedly hit me if something was even slightly wrong, but it's always "I had anger problems, and you after all..." then we go right back to "you were such a bad kid".
I'm sorry that is insanely cruel, kids cannot be blamed for adult's actions
 
A

Aplev

Member
Oct 16, 2021
88
As many others have said above, my mother has tried to apologize but it was very reluctant and extremely fake, and it soon shifted to "you were such a bad kid". She would complain about how I never trusted her, or about how I didn't want to do any therapy when she told me to go (not true, I did therapy, but even my therapist was abusive judging my beliefs and in many other ways and she never acknowledged it, my mother I mean, the therapist didn't either though). And she would also complain about how it was okay that she didn't do anything when I was involved in a cult (that she refused to acknowledge as such by the way). Regarding my father, very similar story, he even mocked me after I spoke up about part of what he did to me that was not okay at all. He replied saying "if you complain about that, you worry me", basically calling me a crybaby. The other day (some months ago) he wrote to me, after a year of not speaking and two years of not seeing each other, and I finally gathered the strength to tell him more in detail what bothered me so much about him. He never replied.

EDIT: Oh, and wanting to move on and being like "everything is great now, right?", happened all the time when I was still living with them and I had no choice but to act as if everything was. Hell NO.

So in short, never acknowledged, we don't speak, and in all honesty, I don't think we ever will. I don't think they will ever acknowledge anything, they lack the empathy and emotional maturity required to become responsible for your actions as a parent (or as an adult for that matter). But since they are so perfect, they can take care of themselves anyway, right?
 
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