Has Anyone Wanted to CTB Due to Your Mother?

[Razor's Edge]

Ok here goes...
This is my story. Bear with me, but is important that you need to know the beginning to judge)

When I was with my ex-husband, he tried to kill me on many occasions, he broke my shoulder, he false imprisoned me in my own house for 1 month. He beat me so bad I couldn't recognize myself in the mirror for 2 weeks. He tortured, beat and raped me. (Yes a husband CAN rape their wives...btw) I barely escaped with my life and our daughter.
I was forced to live with my mother for awhile...as a LAST resort. This actually is the ONLY reason I didn't runaway sooner.
Shortly after we left, my now ex-husband, got pulled over by a female police officer for driving dangerously in a subdivision. He proceeded to try to beat her to the ground, he tried to run over her with his car, got shot in the arm, tazed 6 times (which he got up from...don't know what he was on), drove off, abandoned the car and ran, and there was a massive manhunt out for him for over 6 hours. They called me to see if I had heard from him or seen him, then told me what happened, and obviously this all terrified me that he was coming for me and my daughter. He eventually was caught, got 7 years in prison, 1 year for what he did to me, and 6 years for the police officer. (It doesn't seem fair)
When he finally got out of prison, he lived quite a few states away...whew!!!

Ok...moving to today...
I found this out due to my fiance' looking on Facebook Marketplace, he accidentally came across my ex-husband, and it said that he lived 1 city over from me NOW!!!
I freaked out completely!!! Terrified, I called my mother to warn her...I told her what I found out, then asked if she already knew...and she said yes, and that he had been here for over 3 years without her telling me, yet everyone in the family knows except me.

My mom, who won't even pray for my fiance' when he was very sick (who, by the way is a HOLYROLLER Christian, that actually called Me DEMONIC on Easter no doubt, and was busted with this lie the very next day) invited him to her house with open arms (yes, she knows EVERYTHING he did to me). She won't even accept my fiance', but this demon she accepts. Even our daughter (also knowing EVERYTHING he did to me) has been seeing him. Plus my psychiatrist is also my daughters and so HE has also been lying to me for 3 years. This whole situation is very detrimental to my health, as well as my daughters...yet does my Mother give a fuck about Me? or her granddaughter? obviously NOT!!!
I feel So betrayed by EVERYONE, except my fiance' that is.

So...you're up to date...
So, even though I had already been making plans to CTB BEFORE I found this out, this DEFINITELY upped my readiness to get off this fucking rock!!!

Sorry this story is so long.
But does anyone else feel similar? Please share your story.

 

[CynicalHopelessness]

This is truly terrifying story.

Blood relatives can be hell, despite conventional wisdom saying they should be close to you. I've ranted about my mother there, but it's nothing like what you have gone through.

I'm sorry for all you had to endure. I hope your daughter doesn't have to stay with those people if you choose to CTB.

 

[Razor's Edge]

This is truly terrifying story.

Blood relatives can be hell, despite conventional wisdom saying they should be close to you. I've ranted about my mother there, but it's nothing like what you have gone through.

I'm sorry for all you had to endure. I hope your daughter doesn't have to stay with those people if you choose to CTB.

Thank you for replying.
You are most kind with your words, and they touch my heart. Thank you for caring enough to read my story and respond.

And, yes, I am scared about my daughter, but I think she is already doomed!!!

 

[mattwitt]

Yes !!! Without going into detail my Mother is forcing me to ctb sooner then I would like to.

 

[Razor's Edge]

Yes !!! Without going into detail my Mother is forcing me to ctb sooner then I would like to.

Thank you for responding. I am sorry to hear that...regardless of your situation.

Btw...I love your profile picture...I can totally relate with this outlook. Never a better time to bail...!!!

 

[Mr2005]

Yes !!! Without going into detail my Mother is forcing me to ctb sooner then I would like to.

Same

 

[TheEndof]

Partly, yes. She's a narcissist. A lot of my struggles stem from her abuse to me as a child which she refuses to acknowledge.

 

[Backwood_tilt]

Yeah, somewhat. Unsupportive narcissist who gave me PTSD and another chronic incurable and crippling disease due to her own negligence and stubbornness.

Told her I was likely to get lung cancer at worst and she didn't care. Now my illness is claiming my life, but too slowly.

 

[hatelife]

my mom is my biggest supporter or the one I lean on for support I mean, she is the greatest, I probably only really love her and not any other family member, but I have experienced mean family or relatives yes

 

[GoodPersonEffed]

I am so sorry for all you've experienced.

Humans are social, we need attachment to others. The primary attachment is to the mother, it is a need, and if she's the kind of person who was unsafe, unreliable,, untrustworthy, it affects our ability to attach with others, and our survival physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. It is not surprising to me that anyone's mother would be the impetus to want to die. Fathers are important, too, but the mother is the primary attachment. I am so sorry that yours was narcissistic and abusive. I wish you peace, however you go about trying to achieve it.

An empathetic share: One Christmas, I was crying uncontrollably, I didn't know why I was crying. My mother said I ruined Christmas.

She wasn't narcissitic, but had narcissistic traits. It wasn't the first time that my needs were at odds with her happy and I was undeservedly punished for it.

 

[Wayfaerer]

Indirectly, yes.

 

[Razor's Edge]

my mom is my biggest supporter or the one I lean on for support I mean, she is the greatest, I probably only really love her and not any other family member, but I have experienced mean family or relatives yes

You are very blessed to have such a wonderful and supportive relationship with your mom.
I thought for the longest time, before this incident, that me and my mom were actually trying to get to know each other...
however, all of that was fake, during all the lies.
I wish my relationship with my mother could be like yours.
You have a real treasure.

 

[Throwmyselfaway]

Your ex deserves to be in hell. I am so sorry. Parents think they know what's best. Even if it means going back to the devil you know.

 

[TimeToBiteTheDust]

My mother is helping me. She knows about my ctb thoughts but they are stronger.