vkore

vkore

Member
Feb 27, 2023
17
i've been depressed for 10 years, and genuinely feel like no matter what happens in my life or how hard i try, i'll never get better.

how do you guys feel about recovery when your depression has become chronic? do you have any experiences or opinions on it?
 
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willitpass

willitpass

Don’t try to offer me help, I’ve tried everything
Mar 10, 2020
2,937
In my personal situation I've made backward progress. Every time I think I've hit rock bottom I find out it can get lower and lower every time. What I thought was rock bottom 10 years ago was a good day anymore. I tried every available treatment. So many meds, every talk therapy program, ECT, lifestyle changes like exercise and meditation and positive music, etc. You name it if it was covered by my insurance or something I could do myself I've tried it. I've given up. Nothing ever touched it for more than a few months before it stopped working.

I can't speak for anyone else, everyone's experience is different and some people genuinely do respond to treatment. But I genuinely believe that I am a hopeless case.
 
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vkore

vkore

Member
Feb 27, 2023
17
In my personal situation I've made backward progress. Every time I think I've hit rock bottom I find out it can get lower and lower every time. What I thought was rock bottom 10 years ago was a good day anymore. I tried every available treatment. So many meds, every talk therapy program, ECT, lifestyle changes like exercise and meditation and positive music, etc. You name it if it was covered by my insurance or something I could do myself I've tried it. I've given up. Nothing ever touched it for more than a few months before it stopped working.

I can't speak for anyone else, everyone's experience is different and some people genuinely do respond to treatment. But I genuinely believe that I am a hopeless case.
that's pretty much my experience as well. tried everything. nothing worked. and life keeps going worse.
 
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H

Hotsackage

Enlightened
Mar 11, 2019
1,030
Here listen to this. It is a disease but you can negate it with exercise, meditation, doing purposeful things etc. Good luck
 
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divinemistress36

divinemistress36

Illuminated
Jan 1, 2024
3,153
Ive tried every treatment available , some people just cant be helped
 
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-Link-

-Link-

Deep Breaths
Aug 25, 2018
552
Personally, I've stopped looking at it as "needing to get better" and now instead look at it as "keeping suffering as minimal as possible."

For me, this shifted my focus to just getting through one day at a time. Not thinking about yesterday, or tomorrow. Just today.

This doesn't mean I've dismissed the idea of "getting better" -- it just means I don't worry about it anymore. If treatment happens to make things better, great. But I've let go of the idea of "better". This seems to have relieved a lot of that pressure that I used to put on myself, and it has allowed me to let go of some of the guilt and shame.

It's still very, very hard, and I still deal with a lot of guilt and shame... and I'm not sure what my future looks like... But otherwise, I did find some relief in this shift in mindset.

Now, some people might construe this as "giving up." But for me, I call it "surviving."

I don't know if this is the right thing to do. I don't know if it's right for me, or if it's right for anyone else. For all I know, I could reach a crisis point again and get totally derailed at some point. But this is what I'm doing right now.
 
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willitpass

willitpass

Don’t try to offer me help, I’ve tried everything
Mar 10, 2020
2,937
Here listen to this. It is a disease but you can negate it with exercise, meditation, doing purposeful things etc. Good luck

That shit never worked on me. I know I'm telling myself something I don't believe so it doesn't do anything at all to make me feel more gratitude or like I'm truly reframing my thoughts. I know I'm lying through my teeth. And faking it until I make it doesn't work either. I can tell myself the same lies over and over for months and never once do my true thoughts and believes and moods start to shift. Exercise, meditation, and purposeful activities are like one bandaid on 15 bullet holes. Medication, therapy, ECT, they might bump it up to a measly two bandaids.
 
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H

Hotsackage

Enlightened
Mar 11, 2019
1,030
It's more about being aware, and not necessarily doing anything about it. Pretty fkin hard I know, but there is truth to it. Well wishes
 
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willitpass

willitpass

Don’t try to offer me help, I’ve tried everything
Mar 10, 2020
2,937
It's more about being aware, and not necessarily doing anything about it. Pretty fkin hard I know, but there is truth to it. Well wishes
I'm more than aware. I can tell you every thought process I'm prone to. I can tell you when I'm self sabotaging. I can tell you when I'm spiralling. I can tell you when I feel uncomfortable with happiness. I can notice when things are doing better. I have been so aware that even from the age of 13 I was being commended by therapists for how insightful I was. A lack of awareness about how I'm feeling and what I'm doing and why I'm doing it have honestly done nothing but make my situation worse. I am so aware that I can't seem to change my ways because placebo effects don't work on me. Some people just genuinely cannot be helped.
 
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Escape Artist

Escape Artist

Member
Jun 3, 2019
37
Here listen to this. It is a disease but you can negate it with exercise, meditation, doing purposeful things etc. Good luck


Interesting, but Sam Harris says in this video that he's giving advice to people "within the normal range of psychological suffering."

I think that might mean mild or even moderate depression, but that is CLEARLY not what the OP is describing.
 
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F

F@#$

Freedom seeker
Nov 8, 2023
851
I got a pistol and a box of hollow points,best I can do.
 
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H

Hotsackage

Enlightened
Mar 11, 2019
1,030
Interesting, but Sam Harris says in this video that he's giving advice to people "within the normal range of psychological suffering."

I think that might mean mild or even moderate depression, but that is CLEARLY not what the OP is describing.
I mean he does, but is it answer I have no idea. Because I agree society is clueless beyond the normal range of anything
 
maniac116

maniac116

My own worst enemy🌹💔
Aug 10, 2024
780
I was actually started on venlafaxine a few weeks ago & although I'm still not "normal" (who is?) I'm feeling pretty good now. I have had major depressive disorder for most of my life🌹💔
 
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-nobodyknows-

-nobodyknows-

Arcanist
Jun 16, 2024
425
Unfortunately not. The closest I got was with ECT, but I couldn't live a normal life and keep doing that…
 
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ringo99

ringo99

Arcanist
Apr 18, 2023
416
Been severely depressed since my teens. I can't really confide in anyone as I found out the hard way and therapy is too expensive. The universe is basically telling me to ctb and I'm glad to oblige. Hopefully 96% pure SN is enough to get the job done
 
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Felodese

Felodese

Experienced
Mar 31, 2024
268
Lifelong depression, so no, no progress.
I've had periods where I was slightly less depressed. Been getting worse over the last few years. Now I am sinking fast as all my options/chances at help or treatment are proving useless.
 
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maniac116

maniac116

My own worst enemy🌹💔
Aug 10, 2024
780
Been severely depressed since my teens. I can't really confide in anyone as I found out the hard way and therapy is too expensive. The universe is basically telling me to ctb and I'm glad to oblige. Hopefully 96% pure SN is enough to get the job done
SN at 95% or more is effective🌹💔
 
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bitofftoomuch

bitofftoomuch

hold onto those who accept your messy self
Jul 1, 2024
148
The glimpses of remission I've enjoyed have been at points in my life where I had enough people giving me genuine love and support + felt stable in my lifestyle. Contrary to what most dipshits tell you, it's your material and social circumstances that will have the biggest impact (i.e. your environment), not weird therapy mind tricks or special treatments. Although I've always taken SSRIs, they don't just magic the happy into me; they're just good for decreasing my susceptibility to spiraling and that's it. I've had the same dose for 6 years and been everything from basically depression free to severly depressed depending how my life was going. I do talk therapy to vent my frustrations and I don't bother trying to get more advanced with it than that because it isn't worth the stress. It's finding a way to do what you want to do and feel loved and secure doing it that actually fixes this shit, at least in my experience. I've hated every job I worked but when I shared a house with someone who cared about me and could unwind with goofy ND conversations or TV with her, then taking care of that place gave me purpose and made me feel loved. My greatest regret is choosing to leave such an environment when I was in it because I thought I could "trade up". I firmly believe that if I'd stayed I probably would not have an account on SaSu.
 
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LunarLight

LunarLight

i'm a loser, a failure
Apr 3, 2024
1,368
Thought I was a hopeless case till I tried amisulpride and mianserine. Now I'm doing much better.
 
dust-in-the-wind

dust-in-the-wind

Animal Lover
Aug 24, 2024
155
Here listen to this. It is a disease but you can negate it with exercise, meditation, doing purposeful things etc. Good luck

Fuck when you are in a major depressive episode, you can't do anything. You can barely move or get out of bed. It is hell and I want to die. Some people like me are hopeless.
In my personal situation I've made backward progress. Every time I think I've hit rock bottom I find out it can get lower and lower every time. What I thought was rock bottom 10 years ago was a good day anymore. I tried every available treatment. So many meds, every talk therapy program, ECT, lifestyle changes like exercise and meditation and positive music, etc. You name it if it was covered by my insurance or something I could do myself I've tried it. I've given up. Nothing ever touched it for more than a few months before it stopped working.

I can't speak for anyone else, everyone's experience is different and some people genuinely do respond to treatment. But I genuinely believe that I am a hopeless case.
I'm so sorry. I have tried just about everything myself and also believe it is hopeless for me. So you are not alone in your suffering.
 
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W

wren-briar

wrenbriar.gitlab.io
Jul 1, 2024
241
For context, I'm technically bipolor, only had my first episode of clinical depression in my early 20s, and was in an environment where I really couldn't seek help at the time.

In the 2.5 decades that I've been actively trying to treat my depression, I've tried at least a couple dozen different medications, but only 2 ever seemed to help. Both of which seemed to peter out in effectiveness with time, and one of which —after decades of being on and off of it— started to negatively impact my cognition.

During those 2.5 decades:
  • I've had periods where life was objectively okay or even great, and either my depression was in remittance or medications were helping to hold my depression at bay
  • I've had periods where life was objectively great, but it didn't matter and nothing helped with my depression
  • I've had periods where life sucked, to include nothing helping with my depression
I refuse to do Electroconvulsive Therapy (ECT) because the odds are far too high that it would mess up my cognition (and if I lose that, I would CTB).

I was recently talked into trying Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation (TMS), but because I'm bipolor, the VA (my medical provider) won't cover it, so that won't be happening, so I'll be CTB instead.
 
ladylazarus4

ladylazarus4

exhausted
May 12, 2024
224
I mean, kind of. My depression is alleviated but not gone for 4 weeks at a time until I have to get a ketamine infusion again. But the suicidal ideation never ever leaves.
edit: fixed typo
 
mud

mud

New Member
Mar 23, 2023
3
Some days I somehow manage to forget. Most days I fight to not lose progress. When I do, I fall in deeper. Most days is each waking moment. The worst part is I don't know who is fighting.
 
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rec

rec

Hello
Nov 2, 2020
38
Not the same diagnosis, but I have a diagnosis of schizoaffective disorder (and I started self harming at 11 (I am an adult) so I've probably had the depression part for a long time) and the only meds that worked well enough for the depression part made me gain 27kg all together (went from BMI 19 to BMI 28). I went from nearly underweight to nearly obese. The only other med that was good enough (AND no side effects!!) eventually gave me an allergic reaction. I think some cases are hopeless.
 
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T

ThatStateOfMind

Enlightened
Nov 13, 2021
1,211
i've been depressed for 10 years, and genuinely feel like no matter what happens in my life or how hard i try, i'll never get better.

how do you guys feel about recovery when your depression has become chronic? do you have any experiences or opinions on it?
I feel like the people who have made significant progress with it aren't going to be here on this site to be able to answer this question.
 
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H

Hotsackage

Enlightened
Mar 11, 2019
1,030
Ya I know, I'm like that but it can be alleviated to some degree, anyway sorry you're struggling
 

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