Has anyone here lost anyone to suicide?

[jcksonb22]

yes my brother about 17 years ago

 

[roo]

ive lost 2 friends to suicide, one before i joined ss, one after. i found that, while i was still heartbroken, it was a lot easier to cope with the 2nd loss. maybe cause i had already mourned a friend who died in the same way but i think that this website really helped me understand their choices better. i miss them sm.

 

[SuicidallyCurious]

No one close

My bosses sister did it and it was horrible . She used the method with lots of OTC pills and was hospitalized but she was successful. It really was hard on their family

 

[Eternally Dottie]

I've had two close family members commit suicide. It affected me badly at the time but as time has passed I have come to understand and respect their decision.

 

[outrider567]

My own mother threatened me to it multiple times. Once she even tried, she later told me. Thank god she is still alive today. Otherwise I wouldn't be either.

The mother of my best friend hang herself last summer. Was pretty disturbing for all that were close to her. My best friend and the rest of his family is still suffering to this date. And this will most probably continue for a long time.

Yeah my mother threatened that too but she was in her 70's then---She wanted to do the car exhaust thing in her garage(old people forget that cars these days emit less pollution)but I told her if somebody finds her too soon she could get brain damage--She hung on and died peacefully at age 90

 

[xo777]

my twin brother

 

[Ashu]

My own mother threatened me to it multiple times. Once she even tried, she later told me. Thank god she is still alive today. Otherwise I wouldn't be either.

Around here, this is a quite remarkable and somewhat puzzling statement.

 

[TriggerHappy]

Suicide is insane.
I've lost 4 of my exes to suicide. Their loss has affected my life deeply. Methods were hanging /jumping / shooting.
Inspired by sexual non self -acceptance, addiction or bipolar.
Amazing guys. Incredible life forces that made me doubt the reason for my own purpose. Or anythings for that matter.

 

[-Tandem-]

A friend of mine that I'd only known for a. few months hung himself a couple weeks ago. We saw each other and talked at least 5 days a week. I still don't know how to feel about it other thank be grateful he's not hurting anymore. Rest up Nico

 

[OctoberDusk]

The closest to me was my cousin. Of all my cousins she was the one I was closest to and generally shared a world view and sense of humor. I also thought she was exceptionally cool growing up. I hadn't seen nor heard from her in years before she did it. I regret not staying in touch and still wonder if she remembered she had a cousin dealing with a lot of the same things she was, or if anything could have been different had she reached out. Mostly I feel bad for her daughter.

 

[Manaaja]

My cousin. Has it already been so many years? I wish my dog had met them. I wish my dog was with me right now.

 

[Ligottian]

I've lost so many of my high school friends to suicide, I've lost track of how many. They were all in my (graduating) class, too.

Are you in the USA?

 

[lofticries]

No, but there have been plenty attempts on my mom's side of the family.

 

[Krieger]

I lost two online friends to suicide in less than a month. I talked to one right before he did it :(

 

[Darkover]

i lost a aunt that i used to live with to alcohol addiction kind of like sucide

 

[onlyanimalsaregood]

I lost a friend today here :(

 

[Mental_Pain]

Best friend nearly 20 years ago.

Have never got over it. Neither has his girlfriend. I do understand his reasons though.

I do not want my friends to go through the same but I'll try to explain my CTB the best I can. The fact that I think that mine might be viewed as selfish is pretty difficult to resolve however.

 

[CandyCane]

Many. Closest one was a boyfriend. It was very hard.

 

[Dear Agony]

Yeah, my friend jumped off a building last year. I still can't cope with it

 

[trying2understand]

My brother, former member of this website. It's been 6 months now and I still find it so hard to deal with the guilt, and the trauma of hearing his 911 call. I still cannot accept the fact that I was not there and that he died so afraid and so alone. Most days I just trick my brain into believing that none of it is real… it's so hard and raw that I cannot have it to be real everyday. He was my baby, I will miss him every single day and I just wished life wasn't as hard on us as it is.

 

[come to dust]

No. everyone around me is high functioning. I am the only failure.

 

[milkginger]

I lost my twin sister. And life has been terribly messy ever since. She was my best friend and I really, I don't know how not to ctb right after her. The truth is, she was always braver, bolder, curious and fearless than I was!

My father when I was a small child

My twin brother last year. Continuing to live with that reality and the trauma of finding him and everything surrounding it has such a grip on my life. The frequent panic attacks are hell. Trying to recover and live my life after that is so hard, but something about it also made me want to survive more... To not re-traumatize my family.

I can really understand you! I also lost my twin sister, but it's been 16 years now. To this day I can't get over it and I can't live my life without feeling like she's here with me! For many years I was angry with her, I felt betrayed, I felt frustrated and I blamed myself! For a long time I thought about why she didn't want to do this with me and left me here alone. Today I can understand it and even venerate courage! wherever she is I love her and I know we will meet soon!

 

[Brianiskillingme]

My favorite brother shot himself in the head. It left me forever lost, he was my buddy.

 

[LeavingEarly]

My good friend from elementary and middle school hung himself after graduating highschool. I am often jealous of his courage to just get this life over with. RIP E

 

[Sobreviviente]

My father, recently, only about 5 months ago, over partial hanging. At first I was calm, then I became unable to sleep, started panicking and went to the doctor to get some medicine to sleep. She prescribed me xanax, so the first night with it was absolutely amazing, but then it lost its effect. Panic attacks converted into psychosis and finally I ended up jumping under the train in metro. Idk how did it happen, but somehow I was able to overcome my SI. But it was absolutely stupid act as I lost both of my legs but survived. Now staying in hospital facing severe phantom pain in my limbs which do not exist anymore. Although I knew about SS, N, SN before jumping, that day I felt so much pain in my chest that I thought I would not be able to wait for N or SN to come. I thought my life became a hell, but now I understand that it was absolutely OK in comparison to what I am facing now.