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NIÑAESTUPIDA

NIÑAESTUPIDA

Member
Jul 25, 2021
28
Am I the only one?

In case you've never heard about it...

"Avoidant personality disorder (AVPD) is an enduring pattern of behavior related to social inhibition, feelings of inadequacy, and sensitivity to rejection that causes problems in work situations and relationships.
The disorder is characterized by extreme shyness and sensitivity to criticism from others and is known as a Cluster C personality disorder or one that involves anxious and fearful personality disorders.


AVPD is often associated with other mental health conditions like anxiety disorders, in particular, social anxiety disorder. People with the disorder show a pattern of avoidance due to fear of rejection or disapproval, which they experience as extremely painful.

The following is a list of common symptoms associated with avoidant personality disorder:


  • A need to be well-liked1
  • Anhedonia (lack of pleasure in activities)
  • Anxiety about saying or doing the wrong thing
  • Anxiety in social situations
  • Avoiding conflict (being a "people-pleaser")
  • Avoiding interaction in work settings or turning down promotions
  • Avoiding intimate relationships or sharing intimate feelings
  • Avoiding making decisions2
  • Avoiding situations due to fear of rejection
  • Avoiding social situations or events1
  • Easily hurt by criticism or disapproval
  • Extreme self-consciousness
  • Failure to initiate social contact
  • Fearful and tense demeanor
  • Feelings of inadequacy
  • Hypersensitivity to negative evaluation
  • Lack of assertiveness
  • Lack of trust in others
  • Low self-esteem1
  • Misinterpreting neutral situations as negative
  • No close friends/lacking a social network
  • Self-isolation
  • Social inhibition
  • Unwilling to take risks or try new things
  • Viewing oneself as socially inept or inferior3
  • Vigilant for signs of disapproval or rejection
According to the DSM-5, a person must have a consistent pattern of avoiding social contact, being overly sensitive to rejection and criticism, and feeling inadequate, as displayed by at least four of the following criteria:
  • Avoidance of occupational activities involving significant social contact out of fear of criticism, disapproval, or rejection4
  • Unwillingness to become involved with others unless you are certain that they will like you
  • Holding back in intimate relationships out of fear of being ridiculed or humiliated
  • Preoccupation with criticism or rejection in social situations4
  • Inhibition in new social situations due to feeling inadequate
  • Feelings of being socially inept, unappealing, or inferior to others"
 
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Alwaysbadtime

Alwaysbadtime

Enlightened
Jun 28, 2021
1,158
No, I haven't gotten this diagnosis but I think it would not be hard to get it. I stay away from accepting diagnosises. I got a false one and I realized that my main issue is anxiety due to my fucked up reality. I don't want to punish myself with a diagnosis.
 
samsaragothands

samsaragothands

Member
Jul 18, 2021
37
i've only ever been diagnosed with depression, but among the more specific disorders that it has a relationship with, i see most of my behaviors pathologized the most helpfully through avpd. for a long time i thought i just had social anxiety, but my fear ended up spiraling out into all of my relationships, not just interactions with people i barely or didn't know. the worst part is that i can tell i'm self-sabotaging-- even though i crave intimacy, i deny it to myself because i can't deal with having to be around other people. i lack a real sense of self a lot of the time, so the idea that someone else can form an opinion of me that i have no semblance of control over makes it difficult for me to want to put myself out there; i'm scared i'll somehow make things worse for myself, and that by keeping myself in one place i'm at least containing the problem.

though i typically don't condone or even believe in self-diagnosis, it was a relief knowing this disorder existed, just because the diagnoses i've received in the past have been too vague for me to be helpful in recognizing symptoms of. the fact that it has a genetic basis as well is also really interesting, since it has also been easier for me to understand how similar i am to my dad.

are you older than 18 op? and were you diagnosed with anything before you were diagnosed with avpd?
 
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TheNorthernSilence

TheNorthernSilence

Arcanist
Nov 13, 2018
429
Yes, I've been officially diagnosed.
 
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NIÑAESTUPIDA

NIÑAESTUPIDA

Member
Jul 25, 2021
28
i've only ever been diagnosed with depression, but among the more specific disorders that it has a relationship with, i see most of my behaviors pathologized the most helpfully through avpd. for a long time i thought i just had social anxiety, but my fear ended up spiraling out into all of my relationships, not just interactions with people i barely or didn't know. the worst part is that i can tell i'm self-sabotaging-- even though i crave intimacy, i deny it to myself because i can't deal with having to be around other people. i lack a real sense of self a lot of the time, so the idea that someone else can form an opinion of me that i have no semblance of control over makes it difficult for me to want to put myself out there; i'm scared i'll somehow make things worse for myself, and that by keeping myself in one place i'm at least containing the problem.

though i typically don't condone or even believe in self-diagnosis, it was a relief knowing this disorder existed, just because the diagnoses i've received in the past have been too vague for me to be helpful in recognizing symptoms of. the fact that it has a genetic basis as well is also really interesting, since it has also been easier for me to understand how similar i am to my dad.

are you older than 18 op? and were you diagnosed with anything before you were diagnosed with avpd?
I felt relieved too when I got the diagnose, but, on the other hand, I know there's no treatment, so it doesn't really help.
I'm 40, and I didn't go to any kind of doctor until I was 38. I simply thought I was born depressed.
Yes, I've been officially diagnosed.
Can I ask...have you managed to have friends, a partner, a job? I have nothing... and the pain is unbearable.
 
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TheNorthernSilence

TheNorthernSilence

Arcanist
Nov 13, 2018
429
I felt relieved too when I got the diagnose, but, on the other hand, I know there's no treatment, so it doesn't really help.
I'm 40, and I didn't go to any kind of doctor until I was 38. I simply thought I was born depressed.

Can I ask...have you managed to have friends, a partner, a job? I have nothing... and the pain is unbearable.
Nope. I always kind of expect the other acquaintance to contact me first, don't have any friends. No partner either, and I haven't worked for about 11 years (I'm on disability). I can understand the pain it causes.
 
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LastWhisper

LastWhisper

Who cares if I'm drunk?
Oct 29, 2019
223
Me, officially, F60.6 if I remember correctly.
 
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PaxAmerica

PaxAmerica

Just Passing
Apr 15, 2021
202
Am I the only one?

In case you've never heard about it...

"Avoidant personality disorder (AVPD) is an enduring pattern of behavior related to social inhibition, feelings of inadequacy, and sensitivity to rejection that causes problems in work situations and relationships.
The disorder is characterized by extreme shyness and sensitivity to criticism from others and is known as a Cluster C personality disorder or one that involves anxious and fearful personality disorders.


AVPD is often associated with other mental health conditions like anxiety disorders, in particular, social anxiety disorder. People with the disorder show a pattern of avoidance due to fear of rejection or disapproval, which they experience as extremely painful.

The following is a list of common symptoms associated with avoidant personality disorder:


  • A need to be well-liked1
  • Anhedonia (lack of pleasure in activities)
  • Anxiety about saying or doing the wrong thing
  • Anxiety in social situations
  • Avoiding conflict (being a "people-pleaser")
  • Avoiding interaction in work settings or turning down promotions
  • Avoiding intimate relationships or sharing intimate feelings
  • Avoiding making decisions2
  • Avoiding situations due to fear of rejection
  • Avoiding social situations or events1
  • Easily hurt by criticism or disapproval
  • Extreme self-consciousness
  • Failure to initiate social contact
  • Fearful and tense demeanor
  • Feelings of inadequacy
  • Hypersensitivity to negative evaluation
  • Lack of assertiveness
  • Lack of trust in others
  • Low self-esteem1
  • Misinterpreting neutral situations as negative
  • No close friends/lacking a social network
  • Self-isolation
  • Social inhibition
  • Unwilling to take risks or try new things
  • Viewing oneself as socially inept or inferior3
  • Vigilant for signs of disapproval or rejection
According to the DSM-5, a person must have a consistent pattern of avoiding social contact, being overly sensitive to rejection and criticism, and feeling inadequate, as displayed by at least four of the following criteria:
  • Avoidance of occupational activities involving significant social contact out of fear of criticism, disapproval, or rejection4
  • Unwillingness to become involved with others unless you are certain that they will like you
  • Holding back in intimate relationships out of fear of being ridiculed or humiliated
  • Preoccupation with criticism or rejection in social situations4
  • Inhibition in new social situations due to feeling inadequate
  • Feelings of being socially inept, unappealing, or inferior to others"
This a lot like me. A lot. Thanx for this info
 
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Promortalist_

Promortalist_

Celebrate Death Mourn Life
Jul 5, 2021
74
I haven't been diagnosed but the list of symptoms describes my personality XD

I guess I can add one more mental disorder to my list.
 
Last edited:
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fruit-loops

fruit-loops

Student
Jun 27, 2021
150
Hello, you are not alone. I also have it and I think that many people here is affected by it.

According to my therapist, suicidal thoughts are a clear expression of the "avoidance of life", when it appears as too stressful and complicated to manage. Obviously I think there are gradients, patterns and reasons to it.. Despite the fact that many people think that all lives are almost equally hard, that is not true. I mean, yes everyone has his troubles and hard moments, but there are different magnitude of them. When too many things are going wrong and for a long time, one start thinking that there is no solution and wants to escape once for all. Is it avoidance? Sure, but to arrive to elude your own future you had to pass through too much pain in life and have had lost he hope. Don't you think?
 
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NIÑAESTUPIDA

NIÑAESTUPIDA

Member
Jul 25, 2021
28
Hello, you are not alone. I also have it and I think that many people here is affected by it.

According to my therapist, suicidal thoughts are a clear expression of the "avoidance of life", when it appears as too stressful and complicated to manage. Obviously I think there are gradients, patterns and reasons to it.. Despite the fact that many people think that all lives are almost equally hard, that is not true. I mean, yes everyone has his troubles and hard moments, but there are different magnitude of them. When too many things are going wrong and for a long time, one start thinking that there is no solution and wants to escape once for all. Is it avoidance? Sure, but to arrive to elude your own future you had to pass through too much pain in life and have had lost he hope. Don't you
I agree, but I'm avoiding suicide too...it's funny...I've been wanting to ctb since I was 11...doing research...looking for the best way to do it...now that I have what I need...I keep procrastinating...I'm so embarrased...
 
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fruit-loops

fruit-loops

Student
Jun 27, 2021
150
I agree, but I'm avoiding suicide too...it's funny...I've been wanting to ctb since I was 11...doing research...looking for the best way to do it...now that I have what I need...I keep procrastinating...I'm so embarrased...
jejejejej I totally got you, I'm in the same situation, just procrastinating everything in my life, also CTB..
I also think that if I had what I need to CTB I may do it in one of those when the desperation will be unbearable, so for now I'm also procrastinating to get my hand on it..
Pngwingcom
 
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NIÑAESTUPIDA

NIÑAESTUPIDA

Member
Jul 25, 2021
28
jejejejej I totally got you, I'm in the same situation, just procrastinating everything in my life, also CTB..
I also think that if I had what I need to CTB I may do it in one of those when the desperation will be unbearable, so for now I'm also procrastinating to get my hand on it..
View attachment 71475

jejejejej I totally got you, I'm in the same situation, just procrastinating everything in my life, also CTB..
I also think that if I had what I need to CTB I may do it in one of those when the desperation will be unbearable, so for now I'm also procrastinating to get my hand on it..
View attachment 71475
When those moments come and I say to myself: "Enough, just do it! Now!" I take my anti-emetics and while I wait...I chicken out again...‍
 
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demuic

demuic

Life was a mistake
Sep 12, 2020
1,383
I felt like I had this when I first heard about it when I was a kid.
 
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fruit-loops

fruit-loops

Student
Jun 27, 2021
150
When those moments come and I say to myself: "Enough, just do it! Now!" I take my anti-emetics and while I wait...I chicken out again...‍
So I suppose you already have what you need?
It's the last and most important decision of your life, so I think is perfect to delay it if something tell you to wait. I really think this is a good think, it's not procrastinating, it's to give you another chance, an hope, let's say..
 
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NIÑAESTUPIDA

NIÑAESTUPIDA

Member
Jul 25, 2021
28
I had N, but they took it away
Now I have SN...I think it's a better choice...less bitter, they say...
 
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fruit-loops

fruit-loops

Student
Jun 27, 2021
150
Wow, I see. Can I ask you if you got N by some of the sources from PPH?
 
B

Beached_whale

Member
Jul 9, 2021
43
Personality disorders are apparently a manifestation of CPTSD
 
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intheweeds

intheweeds

Student
Mar 20, 2019
182
I've been diagnosed with this, PTSD, and major depressive disorder. Been on disability for it since 2014.

It's such a lonely condition. I want companionship, and friends, but my natural tendency is to isolate and avoid people which makes relationships very difficult.

I hoped it would get better as I got older, but nope. Been seeing psychiatrists and taking medication since 2011 and not a single fucking thing has changed.

Really tired and losing hope.
 
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U

UseItOrLoseIt

Visionary
Dec 4, 2020
2,215
I have BPD but have almost every trait of APD also.
 
NIÑAESTUPIDA

NIÑAESTUPIDA

Member
Jul 25, 2021
28
I've been diagnosed with this, PTSD, and major depressive disorder. Been on disability for it since 2014.

It's such a lonely condition. I want companionship, and friends, but my natural tendency is to isolate and avoid people which makes relationships very difficult.

I hoped it would get better as I got older, but nope. Been seeing psychiatrists and taking medication since 2011 and not a single fucking thing has changed.

Really tired and losing hope.
I don't think Avpd is considered a cause for disability here in Spain. If I didn't have to worry so much about money ...at least I could breath.
Wow, I see. Can I ask you if you got N by some of the sources from PPH?
I got a reliable source from DMD.
They sent it from Mexico, years ago.
But now it seems there are problems with customs...
 
Last edited:
B

Beached_whale

Member
Jul 9, 2021
43
I haven't but I think I have it
 
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meetapple

meetapple

Mage
Jun 3, 2021
585
I haven't been diagnosed but I go to great lengths to avoid situations in which I have to assert myself. I think as a youth I tried to deal with my sexual orientation by blocking my sexual thoughts. This interfered with my socialization. Even at my age I am uncomfortable with accepting my own thoughts with other people around. People see me trying to control my thoughts and then punish me when I can't do so.
 
K

khz89

Member
Jul 25, 2021
21
I was never diagnosed but I used to have this kind of pattern to a severe extent for most of my life. It stopped me from living at all. idk if it would help everyone but I managed to basically cure it by doing Coherence Therapy on myself
 
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I

IWantToSleep

Experienced
Dec 27, 2020
227
It's written in my files but I don't think I've been officially diagnosed with it.
 
Ineedtodie

Ineedtodie

Shame, Avoidance, hopelessness, lonliness, cbt, pm
Nov 9, 2022
401
I found this old thread and thought of r eacting anyway. APD fit too perfectly for me. I have all the traits. Been a vicious cycle of shame and avoidance to this day. Now it's even worse then it's ever been. Really driving me to cbt. I noticed few here maybe already did and are free. Hope that others who are still around are safe.
 
Ineedtodie

Ineedtodie

Shame, Avoidance, hopelessness, lonliness, cbt, pm
Nov 9, 2022
401
i've only ever been diagnosed with depression, but among the more specific disorders that it has a relationship with, i see most of my behaviors pathologized the most helpfully through avpd. for a long time i thought i just had social anxiety, but my fear ended up spiraling out into all of my relationships, not just interactions with people i barely or didn't know. the worst part is that i can tell i'm self-sabotaging-- even though i crave intimacy, i deny it to myself because i can't deal with having to be around other people. i lack a real sense of self a lot of the time, so the idea that someone else can form an opinion of me that i have no semblance of control over makes it difficult for me to want to put myself out there; i'm scared i'll somehow make things worse for myself, and that by keeping myself in one place i'm at least containing the problem.

though i typically don't condone or even believe in self-diagnosis, it was a relief knowing this disorder existed, just because the diagnoses i've received in the past have been too vague for me to be helpful in recognizing symptoms of. the fact that it has a genetic basis as well is also really interesting, since it has also been easier for me to understand how similar i am to my dad.

are you older than 18 op? and were you diagnosed with anything before you were diagnosed with avpd?
i've only ever been diagnosed with depression, but among the more specific disorders that it has a relationship with, i see most of my behaviors pathologized the most helpfully through avpd. for a long time i thought i just had social anxiety, but my fear ended up spiraling out into all of my relationships, not just interactions with people i barely or didn't know. the worst part is that i can tell i'm self-sabotaging-- even though i crave intimacy, i deny it to myself because i can't deal with having to be around other people. i lack a real sense of self a lot of the time, so the idea that someone else can form an opinion of me that i have no semblance of control over makes it difficult for me to want to put myself out there; i'm scared i'll somehow make things worse for myself, and that by keeping myself in one place i'm at least containing the problem.

though i typically don't condone or even believe in self-diagnosis, it was a relief knowing this disorder existed, just because the diagnoses i've received in the past have been too vague for me to be helpful in recognizing symptoms of. the fact that it has a genetic basis as well is also really interesting, since it has also been easier for me to understand how similar i am to my dad.


I relate to all what you described to the letter. and my father definitely have it.
 

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