Discussion Has anyone had a psychedelic experience that showed them something about death?

[falloutcarter13]

Just curious about this, because I believe I have. Several months ago, I took LSD, a small dose of shrooms, and then once they kicked in I smoked a big rip of 100x salvia d. extract. I remember rocketing out of the top of my head at a million miles an hour and all of this stuff whizzing by me, way too fast to even know what it was. I came to a screeching halt and ended up in this ballroom, a giant ballroom made out of white marble. I floated over the almost-infinite dance floor, and millions of ethereal beings made of light were slowly dancing with each other. They changed partners a lot, it looked random but they were choosing. They danced so slowly and beautifully and peacefully, no rush to do anything. There were thousands of doors all around the ballroom, and every so often, in ones and twos, beings would break off, choose a door, and head through it to leave. I just watched in breathless awe, certain that I was being shown a version of the afterlife in a form that I could understand. I remember thinking "They choose their own doors. They choose their own doors." Eventually I snapped back into my body, but that vision has never left my mind. Just wondering if anybody else has ever had an experience like this? Thanks! =D

 

[esse_est_percipi]

That's intense. Do you have any idea what the doors could represent?

 

[falloutcarter13]

That's intense. Do you have any idea what the doors could represent?

Possibly new lives in 4D space? This place had to be somewhere higher than our reality because time didn't exist there, it was just my human perception trying to force the concept of time on the place since its the only way this meatbrain can understand things. But that's a total guess, it could have been anything, everything, or nothing at all. I just don't know. I just hope that's really where I get to go when I'm done here.

 

[esse_est_percipi]

More and more I've been getting the sense that we have chosen to be who we are. That out of the billions of possible lives we could have experienced, our pre-embodied consciousness chose this one for a very mysterious reason. Our consciousness just randomly popping into existence 13.8 billion years after the big bang to have a very specific life experience then going out of existence forever just doesn't make a lot of sense. Then again the universe existing at all doesn't make a lot of sense.
I have no idea, I just thought it was interesting you said that they 'choose their own doors'.

 

[falloutcarter13]

I have no idea, I just thought it was interesting you said that they 'choose their own doors'.

That was the most important part to me, for some reason. I didn't know the relevance then and I'm not sure now, but the most beautiful and amazing part was that it was all free will, every part of it. Couldn't even say why.

And I 100% agree about the eerie sense that we chose this. I've had the sense/certainty too many times in my experience with psychedelics and even just deep thought/meditation. I don't want to draw any concrete conclusions based on drug experiences, but its definitely my working theory right now. Thanks for chipping in!!

 

[falloutcarter13]

Oh I thought of this other experience last night, and I think its worth posting. About two years ago, I took an extremely high dose of DXM (I believe it was 1.8g and I'm about 160 lbs.) I had tons of experience with DXM, and had taken doses approaching this before. This experience was completely different. I was lying on my bed, just letting the drug do its thing, and all of a sudden I got the strangest pain in my legs. It didn't feel like any pain I'd ever felt before, not because it was weaker or stronger, it was just an entirely new sort of pain. I looked down, and while everything in my vision looked normal, my legs did *not*. They were stretching and bending at an impossible angle (like looking at something underwater at an angle) and as they stretched out and to my right, my feet looked like they were fading into nothingness, even though I could see objects *beyond* my feet just fine. I had the distinct sensation of being jerked out of my body, it felt something like the drop on a roller coaster, and suddenly I was in two places at once. I could still see my body and my whole room, but I could *sense* that I was in another place at the same time. I heard crunching glass and metal, a lot like the sound of being in a car accident. I could also hear klaxon alarms going off, a strange hooting sound in the background. All of a sudden, I had a clear-as-day realization and knew where I was - I was in a spacecraft, caught in a declining orbit around a black hole, approaching the event horizon. Time was dilating because of the effects of the singularity, and my crew and myself were unable to escape the gravity well. We had made the decision to use our life support pods (which included simulations we inserted our consciousnesses in, in order to avoid brain death during the suspended animation process). We knew that because of the effects and nature of a black hole, it would literally be forever before we reached the singularity and we'd just be orbiting forever (or at least that is how we would experience it.) Our simulations to keep our brains alive were designed to contain both pleasure and pain, because our human brains are designed to reject any experience it views as unrealistic and are really good at detecting when they're being fooled. I don't know if the sims were fully written programs, or some sort of lifelike video game where you make your own choices. But as I was experiencing getting closer to the event horizon of the black hole in my "real" life, and the ship suffered damage, my brain (which was still engaged in the sim - *this* life) tried to rationalize it inside of the sim as a drug experience. Which, if that's the case, none of you are real and I'm talking to myself, but yeah...

Hope that was at least interesting to read if nothing else lol...still hoping to hear about other peoples' experiences, if they have any! Thanks for reading =)

 

[esse_est_percipi]

Oh I thought of this other experience last night, and I think its worth posting. About two years ago, I took an extremely high dose of DXM (I believe it was 1.8g and I'm about 160 lbs.) I had tons of experience with DXM, and had taken doses approaching this before. This experience was completely different. I was lying on my bed, just letting the drug do its thing, and all of a sudden I got the strangest pain in my legs. It didn't feel like any pain I'd ever felt before, not because it was weaker or stronger, it was just an entirely new sort of pain. I looked down, and while everything in my vision looked normal, my legs did *not*. They were stretching and bending at an impossible angle (like looking at something underwater at an angle) and as they stretched out and to my right, my feet looked like they were fading into nothingness, even though I could see objects *beyond* my feet just fine. I had the distinct sensation of being jerked out of my body, it felt something like the drop on a roller coaster, and suddenly I was in two places at once. I could still see my body and my whole room, but I could *sense* that I was in another place at the same time. I heard crunching glass and metal, a lot like the sound of being in a car accident. I could also hear klaxon alarms going off, a strange hooting sound in the background. All of a sudden, I had a clear-as-day realization and knew where I was - I was in a spacecraft, caught in a declining orbit around a black hole, approaching the event horizon. Time was dilating because of the effects of the singularity, and my crew and myself were unable to escape the gravity well. We had made the decision to use our life support pods (which included simulations we inserted our consciousnesses in, in order to avoid brain death during the suspended animation process). We knew that because of the effects and nature of a black hole, it would literally be forever before we reached the singularity and we'd just be orbiting forever (or at least that is how we would experience it.) Our simulations to keep our brains alive were designed to contain both pleasure and pain, because our human brains are designed to reject any experience it views as unrealistic and are really good at detecting when they're being fooled. I don't know if the sims were fully written programs, or some sort of lifelike video game where you make your own choices. But as I was experiencing getting closer to the event horizon of the black hole in my "real" life, and the ship suffered damage, my brain (which was still engaged in the sim - *this* life) tried to rationalize it inside of the sim as a drug experience. Which, if that's the case, none of you are real and I'm talking to myself, but yeah...

Hope that was at least interesting to read if nothing else lol...still hoping to hear about other peoples' experiences, if they have any! Thanks for reading =)

Sounds like the beginning of a plot to a philip k dick sci-fi story.

 

[falloutcarter13]

Sounds like the beginning of a plot to a philip k dick sci-fi story.

Yeah, the first one I posted felt realer than reality. This one had more of an elaborate hallucination feel. Also, apparently I started screaming bloody murder while I was happening (which makes sense, because I was *terrified* at the "knowledge" of being stuck in a time loop that would never end.) But it was bad enough for my ex to call paramedics, who of course took me to the ER. I had more, but different, hallucinations there, such as the ER room being an elevator on its way down to hell and the ticking clock stopping and the doctor in the room saying "Time of death, 01:25."

 

[esse_est_percipi]

the first one I posted felt realer than reality. This one had more of an elaborate hallucination feel

maybe because with the first one, you were taking some 'natural' substances (shrooms, saliva d), whereas DXM is a 'lab' drug.

 

[falloutcarter13]

maybe because with the first one, you were taking some 'natural' substances (shrooms, saliva d), whereas DXM is a 'lab' drug.

Exactly my thinking too. Even LSD is more natural, synthesized from a naturally occuring fungus anyway.

 

[Good4Nothing]

My first acid trip was bad, and I saw Jakob's ladder with angels beckoning me to join them. But the "ladder" was striped like a candy cane and twirling like a barber pole, and the "angels" were made of construction paper and doilies and had faces like grey aliens. It was artificial, like something not good was trying to entice me with what they thought I wanted to see, but they couldn't get it right. I had to fight not to follow them, like swimming against a current.

Another time I drank cough syrup for the second night in a row, and I think it was too much too soon. I think I poisoned myself and almost died.
I had an out of body experience. The room I was in just spiralled away from me and I was flying around the house. But I could look down and see myself puking and crying while my friend tried to help. Flying me was aware of physical me, and vise versa. The feeling of duality is impossible to explain. Flying me was ecstatic with freedom and only slightly pitied physical me, and physical me was certain he was dying and was terrified. I still have both sets of memories from that night, two distinctly different experiences that happened simultaneously.

And I don't believe we chose our lives. Who would choose this loveless life of rejection and alienation and loneliness and abuse? I wouldn't wish this on anyone, much less choose it for myself. It's absolute hell watching everyone around you take for granted the thing you so desperately want - need, even - but for some reason are not allowed to have. No one would choose this.

 

[Unspoken]

I just tripped on mushrooms. I'm severely suicidal, my date is approaching. I felt so much peace about death but wept for the pain I'd leave behind. Death felt peaceful, comforting like floating. I leaned into those feelings.

 

[falloutcarter13]

No one would choose this.

To oversimplify it, I think the reason our essences may have chosen an existence like this is pretty much why some people choose to play a video game on the hardest difficulty setting. If you believe we have a soul, then in the form we are now, our souls are competing with the fact that we're in a biological body that belongs to a mostly-illogical, murderous, but also somehow brilliant creature. Just because we can't find the answers here in this life doesn't mean we'll never find them after its over.

Disclaimer: I don't know shit and I'm a moron. These are just some random thoughts of mine lol.

I just tripped on mushrooms. I'm severely suicidal, my date is approaching. I felt so much peace about death but wept for the pain I'd leave behind. Death felt peaceful, comforting like floating. I leaned into those feelings.

Yup, there's no getting around that pain you'll leave behind you. I tell myself all sorts of comforting things about how my loved ones will be better off, how they'll move on quickly, how I'll be more pleasant to them as a memory than actually being here...but no matter how true these things are, they're still justifications and if we *choose* to leave, we're going to cause some pain. I try to think of it like we're all kids at summer camp, and my friends are upset because I'm getting my parents to pick me up early because I'm homesick lol

 

[mellow]

Thanks for sharing your out of body experience (OBE). Does it make you less afraid to die? Do you think we have free will, or our lives are already mapped out / predetermined?

 

[Pryras]

I've taken psychedelic mushrooms once and it was interesting.

I remember my head vibrating every time I clenched my jaws shut. The more pressure, the more sound it caused. It was like a rumbling, vibrating noise. In that moment I thought dying might carry a similar experience of senses.

 

[Meditation guide]

I've had a couple of psychedelic experiences without any substances.

I was really depressed one time, standing in my kitchen. I was suddenly in this completely other place. Golden mist was falling all around and over me. There was a beautiful white city in front of me and I was looking down a very wide boulevard. I felt so much love peace and joy to be there. I was silently begging "please don't make me go back. Please don't make me go back there" over and over, hoping wherever I was I could stay there. But then a circular closing in of the kitchen happened and back in the kitchen I found myself.

The way it ended with the edges closing in over the scene in a round circle, was just wild. At the end it was like looking at it through a telescope, a little round window getting smaller and smaller.

I've never done psychedelics of any kind or been psychotic.

 

[esse_est_percipi]

I've had a couple of psychedelic experiences without any substances.

I was really depressed one time, standing in my kitchen. I was suddenly in this completely other place. Golden mist was falling all around and over me. There was a beautiful white city in front of me and I was looking down a very wide boulevard. I felt so much love peace and joy to be there. I was silently begging "please don't make me go back. Please don't make me go back there" over and over, hoping wherever I was I could stay there. But then a circular closing in of the kitchen happened and back in the kitchen I found myself.

The way it ended with the edges closing in over the scene in a round circle, was just wild. At the end it was like looking at it through a telescope, a little round window getting smaller and smaller.

I've never done psychedelics of any kind or been psychotic.

That's amazing.
Why do you think you had that experience?
Maybe your depressed mind tuned in to some alternate reality to give you some kind of hope?

 

[falloutcarter13]

Thanks for sharing your out of body experience (OBE). Does it make you less afraid to die? Do you think we have free will, or our lives are already mapped out / predetermined?

It made me feel like...maybe our life path here and in places like it is predetermined, but its us ourselves who predetermine it? That feels closest to being able to say it right. Also that there are unlimited possibilities for everything and everyone. I feel strongly that we are all individuals and at the same time, we're all part of the same thing, the same universal collective consciousness. Like maybe these human bodies on this tiny, insignificant planet are just probes for this universal collective to inhabit, use to collect information, and then discard/recycle/replace when they expire. This is not just happening in every corner of our unlimited universe, but on the unlimited levels of dimensions that contain universes like this one all the way to places our minds cannot comprehend with their current limitations. I intuitively believe that some higher force makes up each of our souls/spirits/essences/whatever you're comfortable calling it. I believe this force is pure energy, and that's the source that powers what we call consciousness. I believe we're here to do a job, which is to experience things to add to the collective knowledge and understanding of the All. Just because we drew a shit assignment this time and were assigned to collect data on suffering and pain by experiencing it firsthand doesn't mean its always like that, or that it will even matter to us after our release. All of this makes me less afraid to die, and I'm fully aware these could all be simply delusions I want to believe in for personal comfort, they may be the grown-up version of a fat man shimmying down your chimney once a year to spoil you with things you didn't earn. But in my heart, I believe these things, and I will hold on to the comfort of that until I am gone.

Man, what a ramble. And I'm not even on drugs right now

I think Jake said it best in The Gunslinger by Stephen King. "Go, then...there are other worlds than these." Short, to the point, and with a ring of truth that my soul recognizes and respects.

 

[checkouttime]

Not directly death. but once someone had put 40 LSD tabs in our breakfast and me and a friend had took 9 ecstasy tablets in the 45 mins and they all kicked in together i think. my mate freaked out and i was dragging bin bags....thinking they were dead bodies. oh and their were skeletons driving VW golf GTI's it didn't actually freak me out at all!!!