Has anyone ever given up so much they don't even have the energy to cob?

[dimgobaith]

For a second there i thought i had something to live for. Things were going to be hard but doable. Tiny bits got bitten off and eroded away and now the only little bit that was still there has blown up.

I give up, I really do. Whatever I do, whatever I try it either goes wrong or isn't good enough. It has always been a case of people willing me to fail and having to prove them wrong, now even more so.

I'm not sure if this is a vent or what. I want to go, I want to die but I don't have the energy to get materials together for inert gas, or access to drugs for overdose. But if there was a cliff outside my front door right now I'd walk straight over that edge.

The first time I tried to CTB i made sure I had everything in order. Now I don't care. Let people scrap over what assets and possessions I have, little as they are. I just want out. I'm sat here wondering if anyone would even notice. I used to care that I'd upset some people I care about...
Now it doesn't really matter to me. It sounds harsh but yeah... I don't know.

Maybe I can find a rope somewhere, I've never had the courage for hanging but now I don't have any feelings toward it at all

 

[divinemistress36]

Ya I have no energy to ctb. Im to depressed to plan . I wish I could become more stable so I could plan it

 

[Electra]

Yep

 

[wham311]

Body has deteriorated so much and my face has gotten so fucked up that I'm limited in how I'm able to attempt

 

[Forveleth]

I have made myself laugh over the irony of being too depressed (and therefore having no energy) to kill myself.

 

[Manic Panic]

I have moments where I get so low that I want to but I have no energy to do it.

 

[flutebloom]

Coming up with a plan seems to take so much effort and acquiring all the materials. It's like I want to escape the suffering but can't even make myself do it

 

[Pale_Rider]

I dont think I gave up, even though it feels like that. Just the way it is.