Yes. Also I don't want to talk about it and I know it might happen again.
I do honestly believe I probably have a moral obligation to kill myself but there's a competing obligation to family. You do a bad enough thing and it hurts family anyway, always a balancing act.
Accepting you're the kind of person who can do bad shit when you are at your lowest is a bummer.
took the words right out of my mouth, honestly.
Sometimes i feel so guilty that i can't breath or sleep only medicine makes me calm down.
i'm the same but with weed lmao.
I did a shit ton of Petty theft and a ton of like general amoral things. I'm sorry you're going through everything :(
i appreciate it- i'm sorry for everything you're going through too. i've met a few people in mental health treatment who've had similar situations to you, i think.
i haven't really done anything ilegal but i got caught sleeping in my car drunk and have been dealing with the dwui i got from it and i very high chance of getting my probation revoked for the second time which means jail because i did not do the classes i need to do in time so id rather ctb before then
so fucking dumbbbb that getting caught just being/resting in your car under the influence can get you in trouble, like isn't that what you're supposed to do when you aren't well enough to drive? makes me think about people who live in their cars too.
Sometimes, telling someone what the crime was is enough to release yourself from feelings of guilt and self-hatred. The best option would be to tell a friend which you trust. Other options are your therapist or priest (they might be safer options because they are obliged to keep it secret).
I am Buddhist, and I believe all crimes are committed out of ignorance. And the only way to purify the bad karma of your deeds is through practice. You don't need to punish yourself - your bad karma will come back to you as punishment - unless you purify it.
Regarding your question, I have convinced my ex-girlfriend to have an abortion. I consider it a murder, and I felt guilt and shame until I told my friend and therapist about it.
i've already told the majority of people in my life. it's kind of a complicated situation, because i can no longer contact the person who i believe i committed the crime against. i've confronted this person directly about it before they requested no contact, but they've given me some mixed/unclear answers about their thoughts on it. the nature of their answers has led me to personally believe that i did commit that crime, but the person is too afraid to talk about it.
the people in my life who know all seem to unanimously believe that i did not/"could never do something like that". i've seen lots of therapists who also have had mixed opinions on it. i've been encouraged not to report it, either, but i'm planning on at least trying to confess to law enforcement soon, because i feel like i'm being enabled and i'm sick of it. i do want to change, and i feel like i can't change unless the situation is formally dealt with legally, because a lot of the resources for dealing with this kind of situation are hard to obtain without going through that route, from what i understand.
i think i agree with you in the sense that all crimes are committed out of ignorance. why wouldn't people do better if they truly knew better? and not just "knew" on a surface level, but truly understood and empathized. i think a factor in the way that i hurt this other person was ignorance.
i have my own feelings about the morality of abortion, but i do really appreciate how deeply a lot of buddhists and hinduists seem to value life.
yeah probably some involving drugs, idk if underage drinking is a crime, i thought it would only have legal consequences to those who helped me to drink, but idek. I also dont believe in such a thing as "bad people". I believe most of us here commited some kind of "crime" from what ive been reading, still, i find so many kindhearted people here. Ive seen you understood that you messed up, for me, thats a good act that only good people would do. So i hope you get your hopes up.
i appreciate this. i think i also agree that there is no such thing as someone who is wholly good or bad, there's only people, and everyone is complex. reading other people's experiences here also gives me a feeling of deep empathy. so much of what's written here is so vulnerable and authentic in a way that i don't feel like i see often irl, and i really admire that.
i feel like acknowledging that i messed up isn't enough to fix what i did. i don't think what i did will ever be fixed. i can only hope that the person i hurt hasn't been damaged forever because of it. i was a victim of the same crime before i met this person, so it hurts me a lot knowing that i've potentially caused someone else the same extreme pain that i had felt after i had experienced that.
