Has anyone else been suicidal since childhood?

[insectontrial]

Since around seven or eight years of age. I'm autistic, and I've read that for many of us, that is when such thoughts start. I also started self-harming (beyond just hitting my head) at around this age too, by using a piece of wood which came loose from my toy box which had splinters coming out of it.

The earliest I can remember was when I was 6 years old, and I ran across the street with a friend to get to the school doors, almost getting hit by a car.

My dad reprimanded me obviously, But I thought that if I wasn't alive I wouldn't have made him so mad.

When I was 7 I told the teachers that I wanted to kill myself and I was written up and sent home. Ever since then, My parents never took it seriously, especially my dad, he didn't want to accept that me or my brother were mentally ill.

I told my parents at that age I wanted to kill myself. Their response was to tell my teacher and teaching assistant (aide) and they told me off for saying "silly things".

I was then stopped from jumping out of my first-floor bedroom window aged eight.

I'm now 26 and have had two attempts since.

 

[tired93]

I've been dreaming about suicide since I was 12 or 13. My first attempt was at the age of 14 with the ingestion of psychotropic drugs.

 

[princexhhn]

Since forever!! I can't even recall an age, but I've always had thoughts of killing myself even before I really knew what "suicide" was. Being a little 5 year old and fantasizing about bleeding out using the kitchen knife:P

 

[pieceoffox]

It all started when I was 12, and now I live with these thoughts constantly. I'm not sure why, I think I've just always had a hard time existing in this world. I haven't attempted suicide to this day, but I regularly engage in self-harm.

 

[zeldasheikah777]

Like a lot of autistic people here also around 8 years old—or at least that's when I had ideation. Made my first real attempt at 13 with a belt. I've just always felt incompatible with life.

 

[StoneCactus]

I'm autistic and I was EXTREMELY suicidal from as far back as I can remember (maybe 6 or 7) until my early 20s. After that I wasn't except for when I dropped out of grad school at 25 and attempted with chloroform and ether. Now I'm suicidal at 43 but for specific concrete reasons.