Imo, it doesn't matter if you tie your hands or not. If you thrash enough you'll break free if you've done something wrong. Make sure regardless of method you're using to hang, that you compress the carotid and jugular. If you succeed in doing that you'll have the best chance at ctb. If you choke your air way, you'll likely just have a bad time and survive. Unless you've done a full suspention with the proper ligature and anchor of course.
I hope you find peace friend.