fantasticalreality
Member
- Sep 29, 2025
- 5
Im 19 now, ill be 20 by next halloween. That seems too old to trick or treat. i couldnt get my costume right, i got so frustrated id just cry and i decided to give up on it. didnt make friends with the same friends ive trick or treated with the past few years, finally checked in and they all had plans anyways. i didnt even want to do anything, im just so sad today. im getting older but im still so stupid and scared. and lonely, even with a boyfriend for the first time since i was 13. but im still sad. im off my medication, i dont know why i stop taking it. when i run out its a pain in the ass to refill, theres so many issues contacting the pharmacy and my doctor. everything is against me. therapy appointments end up so far apart they arent even useful, thats why i stopped going. and the fact that it just consists of me mostly picking at my fingers awkwardly in silence until they finally ask "what do YOU want out of therapy?" gee i dont know, to not want to kill myself? Why the fuck does it always feel like i fail therapy? Im so sad. everything makes me cry. losing in a video game makes me cry. seeing a stray cat outside makes me cry. ive lost my point. im just miserable and i want someone to notice and feel bad for me. ill never be free.
