Venting half my problems will be solved if i lose weight.

[doireallywannadie]

Growing up, I was always a little chubby, I even knew it myself cuz everyone around me including friends and family were saying it to my face since the age of like 9. I never really put much thought into it until i was 12. The time where the only thing on my min started to be ctb or something to do w my looks. It was absolutely draining. I thought I was "average" or a "normal" weight until everyone around me started getting partners and experiencing their "teenage love" bs. That was when I knew I was the ugliest one of all my friends. Even know, at 18 years old I know I'm the ugliest one among my friends. The fattest one.

I know for sure that romance is not all there is to life, but however, a lot of my insecurities are tied to my weight, and it makes it hard to do everyday tasks.
I've had an eating disorder for years now. It is either binge eating until I get physically sick or starving until I'm physically sickk. It's gotten to the point that when I see physically unwell people, anorexic malnourished people, I start to get jealous of their body because my body isn't like theirs.

The fact that I wear a lot of makeup doesn't help the fact that I'm not skinny. I genuinely feel like a pig with lipstick on. I am such a catfish that it's not even funny. The proof of my ugliness is that almost everyone I've talked to or dated were online/long distanced. Nobody finds me attractive, and when my friends say that I'm pretty, they are all lying to make me feel better.

I know for a fact that if I js shed some pounds I'll feel a lot more better about myself.

I'm so insecure I need to die.

 

[elenaboo25]

If half your problems will be solved if you lose weight, why not try? I'll be trying to go to the gym next month. I'm classified as obese and already starting to feel the negative impact on my health and I want to try to improve that so as to improve my quality of life for the remaining time that I am forced to be here.

 

[chocone]

one trick that doctors in taiwan recommended me was just drink a shit ton of water (if you don't like plain water, tea or no cal flavorings do the same thing). When they say a shit ton they mean three to five litres a day (NOT ALL AT ONCE), and apparently it helps supress your appetite and increase your metabolism. another one is to eat your food separated by groups, so veggies first, protein, then carbs/sugars. it's called meal sequencing and it helps manage blood sugar and lots of other stuff. I was also told that fat/oils aren't the enemy either, because you actually need fats to absorb lots of vitamins properly. Vitamins A, D, E and K are all fat soluble and are found a lot in veggies, so adding a little bit of oil to those is essential if you tend to boil/steam veggies like I do. this was all from a weight loss program my mom made me do, but honestly a lot was in mandarin so i hope i remembered it correctly. i speak canto and english and my mando is kinda shoddy so hopefully i'm not spreading misinformation lol

but for how much weight seems to affect your self-esteem, there's a perspective on this that might help you, might make it worse, but I think it's important to know either way. Losing weight will not magically make you valuable as a person, nor will it automatically grant you a partner. A lot of people find that after losing weight, they might've gotten more attention but a decent chunk was objectification, not appreciation.

think about it this way. it's all just a sick ploy from those who have cultural power to control people. if you live in the english speaking part of the world you're living in a world designed by this one guy called jeffrey epstein who really liked little girls, and the thinner they were the easier they were to traffick and the easier their bodies were to bury. you don't need to love your body, it's just nice to be okay with it. understanding this helped me deal with my weight issues too, because why the hell am i getting sick to satisfy the desires of pedos? i don't know what your current weight is nor do i need to know, but whatever it is it's not a reflection of your morals or worth as a person.

 

[ilovenewyork]

You're in luck!
Look up GLP-1 drugs. They work, quickly, and they're very healthy.

 

[Zura]

i think you can maybe try skipping ropes its kinda fun and can maybe help with reducing weight as it is kinda cardio tho i am not sure since everyones bodies are different but do look it up maybe and give it a shot as it can be quite fun trying to set up small targets like maybe start from 50 consecutive skips and work your way up
also about the eating disorder i think you should maybe try dividing your meals in more intervals rather than eating a big meal all together at once maybe have small meals but at more intervals throught the day also starving yourself seems like a bad idea maybe eat as little as one bite but go have a snack tho easier said than done i wish you the best you got this

 

[Pepper]

Just because you're overweight, it doesn't mean that you are ugly. Beauty is subjective. Do you know how many women I see (and also follow) on social media, whether that be Instagram, TikTok, or YouTube that are overweight but are absolutely stunning? Quite a bit of them. Actually, two of the ones I watch consistently are Samantha Jo on TikTok and YouTube and Sierra Ann who is also on TikTok and YouTube since they're my comfort content creators. Both of them have had a baby in the last year, both of them have also been on a weight loss journey before having a baby and now after having a baby. If I'm not mistaken, both of them have also been around or over the 300lb (I know for sure Samantha Jo was over the 300lb because she mentioned it in a recent video).
I know how horrible it can be to have family, friends and to I have even had bullies mention my weight growing up, especially in my teenage years and it affected me and made me insecure. I quite literally had one "friend" tell me that I "needed to go run laps." It absolutely hurts. During my teenage years, I also only dated/talked to long distance/relationships. You're right, that romance is not all there is to life, but I understand wanting to be comfortable in your body to be able to do the things you need and want to do helps tremendously, and if you ever do want to get into a relationship without you constantly doubting yourself inside your head with nagging insecurities or thoughts or even doubting your partner. However, don't think that someone won't love you just the way you are because you're overweight, either!! From what I read, you're still young and your 20s is for experiencing life and finding yourself. You've got a lot of time to settle down.
May I ask if you've ever seeked support such as therapy or even medication for your eating disorder? In my personal experience, I know that I dealt with binge eating growing up and neither one of my parents were quite the best with healthy meals, but it took me up until a few years ago to be diagnosed with adhd alongside binge eating disorder. Adderall has helped some with suppressing my appetite, but I do know it's important that I have to eat because starving yourself isn't healthy either. Seeing someone like Eugenia Cooney or similar isn't a good role model to become skinny. She's dealing with a lot, and last I knew, she couldn't hold water down, which isn't a good sign. In all honesty, I am surprised she is still here with us and I hope she receives the help that she needs. Your body starts shutting down at that point. Hair falls out, your menstrual cycle stops, and it's a slow and not so great way to die.
If you're not seeking treatment, I do hope that you do. Work on your mental health regarding your eating disorder first and if you can, a registered nutritionist would also be able to help as well with calorie deficit and macros such as protein, fiber, etcetera. You would be surprised how much eating healthy can help shed some weight without even exercising yet. Incorporate exercising when you're ready. Even getting 10k steps in helps. Losing 1-2lb a week if the safest way to go, too. You will get to your goal in no time. Don't forget to have a cheat day, too, because you deserve it!
If you need any inspiration, I follow a lot of women on Instagram and some on TikTok who have gone from 600lb+ to less than 200lb. They also provide what helped them reach their goals just by diet and exercise alone with certain exercises and meal prep recipes or simply just by still eating the things they love, but in a healthier way. A good majority of them also become trainers and have programs as well.
I hope I was able to help a bit, and you're more than welcome to dm me if you want. I'm also starting my fitness journey at a higher weight than what I was before when I lost weight the first time around (I got really sick and gained all the weight back a few years later and then some).

You're in luck!
Look up GLP-1 drugs. They work, quickly, and they're very healthy.

I sincerely hope you are joking. Giving someone a GLP-1 when dealing with an eating disorder without seeking help first for said eating disorder isn't going to be the greatest outcome for their mental health. Not to mention, a lot of people don't realize you need to put in the work of eating healthy and exercising alongside using a GLP-1. GLP-1s are also not "very" healthy. They all have side effects, and 82 deaths have been linked to adverse reactions alone in 2025. Three more deaths that weren't properly investigated and reported were also reported within the past week.
In America, you also need to have a diagnosis or meet specific clinical criteria in order to have insurance pay for GLP-1s such as cardiovascular disease, diabetes, high cholesterol, hypertension, obstructive sleep apnea, PCOS, etcetera. Obesity alone doesn't get you a prescription without comorobities. Unless paying out of pocket, which can run hundreds of dollars to over a thousand dollars a month, and even then you still meet with a medical professional to see if it's the right and safest option for you.

 

[doireallywannadie]

If half your problems will be solved if you lose weight, why not try? I'll be trying to go to the gym next month. I'm classified as obese and already starting to feel the negative impact on my health and I want to try to improve that so as to improve my quality of life for the remaining time that I am forced to be here.

I have lost weight from my fastss but i cant keep them up long enough due to being super busy with classes, studying etc etc

but for how much weight seems to affect your self-esteem, there's a perspective on this that might help you, might make it worse, but I think it's important to know either way. Losing weight will not magically make you valuable as a person, nor will it automatically grant you a partner. A lot of people find that after losing weight, they might've gotten more attention but a decent chunk was objectification, not appreciation.

think about it this way. it's all just a sick ploy from those who have cultural power to control people. if you live in the english speaking part of the world you're living in a world designed by this one guy called jeffrey epstein who really liked little girls, and the thinner they were the easier they were to traffick and the easier their bodies were to bury. you don't need to love your body, it's just nice to be okay with it. understanding this helped me deal with my weight issues too, because why the hell am i getting sick to satisfy the desires of pedos? i don't know what your current weight is nor do i need to know, but whatever it is it's not a reflection of your morals or worth as a person.

Thank you so much for the advice! And also holy shit this actually made me realize some stuff. Ofc it will be hard to accept myself the way i am but im still willing to try. Doesnt mean it will be successful but what matters is that im gonna try. Thank youu, im fully aware im falling for the patriarchy but i js cant help the way i feel ykk

i think you can maybe try skipping ropes its kinda fun and can maybe help with reducing weight as it is kinda cardio tho i am not sure since everyones bodies are different but do look it up maybe and give it a shot as it can be quite fun trying to set up small targets like maybe start from 50 consecutive skips and work your way up
also about the eating disorder i think you should maybe try dividing your meals in more intervals rather than eating a big meal all together at once maybe have small meals but at more intervals throught the day also starving yourself seems like a bad idea maybe eat as little as one bite but go have a snack tho easier said than done i wish you the best you got this

Thank youu for the adviceee i have no motivation or drive to work out so js not eating seems the easiest for mee. But i always make sure to eat over 300calorie breakfastt so i dont passnout during the dayy

 

[Lost Impact]

I feel your pain. Most, if not all of my problems stem from how horrifically ugly and obese I am. "Beauty is subjective" doesn't mean anything to me because it's not beauty to ME. It's a cope term if anything. I've tried diets, the exercising I can do, I can't afford a gym membership. I've never lived a real life because I've hidden myself away from all the normal people in the world because something as disgustingly hideous as me should never mingle with prettier and more normal looking people. I stick out like a sore thumb. I've been taking tips from everyone and everything I can but the weight never changes. I feel like I'm stuck looking this way forever and I'll never be beautiful which is the only thing I want. It wouldn't make me less suicidal, but I could at least live just a little bit in the real world without being so hideous.

I've been trying intermittent fasting but I don't know much it's helping because I'm deathly afraid of checking scales but I can physically see nothing changing. It's a struggle. People bigger than me can lose weight but I feel as though I'll be stuck this way forever.

 

[Matchaaa]

I hope you succeed in losing weight and find inner peace and a sense of security. I'm also overweight and have felt that same sense of frustration. If you're looking to make a change, you might want to start with your diet. There are plenty of recipes and exercise tips online that you can try. Wishing you good health!

 

[doireallywannadie]

Just because you're overweight, it doesn't mean that you are ugly. Beauty is subjective. Do you know how many women I see (and also follow) on social media, whether that be Instagram, TikTok, or YouTube that are overweight but are absolutely stunning? Quite a bit of them. Actually, two of the ones I watch consistently are Samantha Jo on TikTok and YouTube and Sierra Ann who is also on TikTok and YouTube since they're my comfort content creators. Both of them have had a baby in the last year, both of them have also been on a weight loss journey before having a baby and now after having a baby. If I'm not mistaken, both of them have also been around or over the 300lb (I know for sure Samantha Jo was over the 300lb because she mentioned it in a recent video).
I know how horrible it can be to have family, friends and to I have even had bullies mention my weight growing up, especially in my teenage years and it affected me and made me insecure. I quite literally had one "friend" tell me that I "needed to go run laps." It absolutely hurts. During my teenage years, I also only dated/talked to long distance/relationships. You're right, that romance is not all there is to life, but I understand wanting to be comfortable in your body to be able to do the things you need and want to do helps tremendously, and if you ever do want to get into a relationship without you constantly doubting yourself inside your head with nagging insecurities or thoughts or even doubting your partner. However, don't think that someone won't love you just the way you are because you're overweight, either!! From what I read, you're still young and your 20s is for experiencing life and finding yourself. You've got a lot of time to settle down.
May I ask if you've ever seeked support such as therapy or even medication for your eating disorder? In my personal experience, I know that I dealt with binge eating growing up and neither one of my parents were quite the best with healthy meals, but it took me up until a few years ago to be diagnosed with adhd alongside binge eating disorder. Adderall has helped some with suppressing my appetite, but I do know it's important that I have to eat because starving yourself isn't healthy either. Seeing someone like Eugenia Cooney or similar isn't a good role model to become skinny. She's dealing with a lot, and last I knew, she couldn't hold water down, which isn't a good sign. In all honesty, I am surprised she is still here with us and I hope she receives the help that she needs. Your body starts shutting down at that point. Hair falls out, your menstrual cycle stops, and it's a slow and not so great way to die.
If you're not seeking treatment, I do hope that you do. Work on your mental health regarding your eating disorder first and if you can, a registered nutritionist would also be able to help as well with calorie deficit and macros such as protein, fiber, etcetera. You would be surprised how much eating healthy can help shed some weight without even exercising yet. Incorporate exercising when you're ready. Even getting 10k steps in helps. Losing 1-2lb a week if the safest way to go, too. You will get to your goal in no time. Don't forget to have a cheat day, too, because you deserve it!
If you need any inspiration, I follow a lot of women on Instagram and some on TikTok who have gone from 600lb+ to less than 200lb. They also provide what helped them reach their goals just by diet and exercise alone with certain exercises and meal prep recipes or simply just by still eating the things they love, but in a healthier way. A good majority of them also become trainers and have programs as well.
I hope I was able to help a bit, and you're more than welcome to dm me if you want. I'm also starting my fitness journey at a higher weight than what I was before when I lost weight the first time around (I got really sick and gained all the weight back a few years later and then some).

Im not really overweight, i am 5'4 and 130lbs. Its just in my head, i feel like unless i become under 100lbs everyone will still see me as the big person. I know people are gonna say "oh thats a healthy weight, lower than that will make you look like a skeleton" and stuff like that but thats what i want. Thats the thing im aiming for. For people to look at me and be worried.

From my experience calorie deficit and purging really helped me. I lost 10lbs in three weeks bc of it and i js cant do it again for some reasonnn.

Ive never received any professional help from anyonee. And im not sure if i want to. My parents dont know about my struggles with food. They just thought it was due to stress when i lost the 10lbs.
I mean im on eating disorder/ self harm communities on different platforms like twitter and discord but they mostly dont really tell you to stop, or help you get better yk. Everyone is struggling so on those platforms, everyone is just looking for people they can relate to. Even this is like that for some people and mee.

But having a weight loss friend sounds nicee although im not sure if i can commit to the healthier way to do it

I feel your pain. Most, if not all of my problems stem from how horrifically ugly and obese I am. "Beauty is subjective" doesn't mean anything to me because it's not beauty to ME. It's a cope term if anything. I've tried diets, the exercising I can do, I can't afford a gym membership. I've never lived a real life because I've hidden myself away from all the normal people in the world because something as disgustingly hideous as me should never mingle with prettier and more normal looking people. I stick out like a sore thumb. I've been taking tips from everyone and everything I can but the weight never changes. I feel like I'm stuck looking this way forever and I'll never be beautiful which is the only thing I want. It wouldn't make me less suicidal, but I could at least live just a little bit in the real world without being so hideous.

I've been trying intermittent fasting but I don't know much it's helping because I'm deathly afraid of checking scales but I can physically see nothing changing. It's a struggle. People bigger than me can lose weight but I feel as though I'll be stuck this way forever.

Progress doesnt show fast. If you stay committed you will definitely be able to see it. I understand how you feel and it is one of the shittest feeling someone can feel.

But i promise you, you can do it. Calorie deficit, 10k steps a day, will make u lose 10lbs in like 3 weeks!

I hope you succeed in losing weight and find inner peace and a sense of security. I'm also overweight and have felt that same sense of frustration. If you're looking to make a change, you might want to start with your diet. There are plenty of recipes and exercise tips online that you can try. Wishing you good health!

Thank you ! I wish you good health too!

 

[Pepper]

Im not really overweight, i am 5'4 and 130lbs. Its just in my head, i feel like unless i become under 100lbs everyone will still see me as the big person. I know people are gonna say "oh thats a healthy weight, lower than that will make you look like a skeleton" and stuff like that but thats what i want. Thats the thing im aiming for. For people to look at me and be worried.

From my experience calorie deficit and purging really helped me. I lost 10lbs in three weeks bc of it and i js cant do it again for some reasonnn.

Ive never received any professional help from anyonee. And im not sure if i want to. My parents dont know about my struggles with food. They just thought it was due to stress when i lost the 10lbs.
I mean im on eating disorder/ self harm communities on different platforms like twitter and discord but they mostly dont really tell you to stop, or help you get better yk. Everyone is struggling so on those platforms, everyone is just looking for people they can relate to. Even this is like that for some people and mee.

But having a weight loss friend sounds nicee although im not sure if i can commit to the healthier way to do it

The "all in my head" is the eating disorder talking. Yes, being 5'4" and 130lb is healthy weight. You could lose another 20lb, and you would still be at a healthy weight which would definitely be better than less than 100lb. Exercising by weight training effectively improves body composition, often resulting in smaller clothing sizes and a leaner physique as well. People being worried about you could also not work in your favor either because it could possibly end with wellness checks or being involuntary committed.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but losing that 10lb and maintaining that loss comes from calorie deficit and exercise.
Please be careful with the purging, as the acid will erode the enamel on your teeth.
Yeah, eating disorder communities don't tell you to stop or help. If anything, it can glorify having an eating disorder and it's common to be in competition with others who suffer from the same thing. Hence me recommending a therapist or psychiatrist in my previous post.
I have to lose my weight the healthy way to keep it off and not gain it back again. I wish you luck on your endeavor.