Had to let my cat go last night

[WinterFaust]

He's gone. It's been a little over 24 hours. I was with him when he passed but I still keep expecting him to loudly push my bedroom door open and jump on my bed. But he's not here.

He was 8 and I've had him since he was only a few weeks old. I loved him so much but I failed him. He was my best friend and for the past year the only one I had for support in person.
It was a tough week. Last night was the third and final vet visit since Sunday. He had a urinary blockage on Sunday which I paid to fix and then he became blocked again two days later. I didn't really have much money to spare but I had him hospitalized yesterday anyway and try. He was my best friend, I couldn't let him go without a fight, even though I'm unemployed and my housing situation is not stable. (Thank you to the kind folks in the chat last night who talked the decision over with me when I had no one else to turn to) My cat was ill but the prognosis was hopeful at first. It was incredibly expensive but he was worth it. After some blood work, it turned out that my poor boy was very sick and had other long standing health issues before the blockage. I had to let him go. He was all I had and I failed him... I miss him so much.

 

[lost guy]

Sorry to hear that. Pets/animals are truly a gift. I lost my dog of 14 years January 15th this year. I'm still not over it. I could really use his comfort right now.

 

[SipSop]

He's gone. It's been a little over 24 hours. I was with him when he passed but I still keep expecting him to loudly push my bedroom door open and jump on my bed. But he's not here.

He was 8 and I've had him since he was only a few weeks old. I loved him so much but I failed him. He was my best friend and for the past year the only one I had for support in person.
It was a tough week. Last night was the third and final vet visit since Sunday. He had a urinary blockage on Sunday which I paid to fix and then he became blocked again two days later. I didn't really have much money to spare but I had him hospitalized yesterday anyway and try. He was my best friend, I couldn't let him go without a fight, even though I'm unemployed and my housing situation is not stable. (Thank you to the kind folks in the chat last night who talked the decision over with me when I had no one else to turn to) My cat was ill but the prognosis was hopeful at first. It was incredibly expensive but he was worth it. After some blood work, it turned out that my poor boy was very sick and had other long standing health issues before the blockage. I had to let him go. He was all I had and I failed him... I miss him so much.

Omg dude. I just cannot read the whole thing.
I stopped at the part when he was pushing the door. Because my cat used to do this too.
I am sorry for your loss. Best regards.

 

[Deleted member 1465]

Ahh I'm sorry. It sounds like you did the right thing: fight as hard as you can for him, then let him go when his life would only have been suffering. But yes, it is hard to suffer the loss. I still remember my childhood dog, remains my best friend to this day.

 

[Sprite_Geist]

Losing a pet is the worst. Once they're gone you can't get them back. You are left with only memories of them, and it makes you wish more and more that they didn't die.

 

[BitterlyAlive]

I'm so sorry for your loss.

 

[VIBRITANNIA]

i'm sorry that happened to you.

you didn't fail him. you did the best you could - you couldn't have known.

 

[WinterFaust]

Thank you all for your kind words. I loved him so much and I spent as much time with him as I could in the end but this past year while I've been severely depressed, I spent less time with him. He was still happy but he deserved better. It hurts so much.

 

[BitterlyAlive]

Thank you all for your kind words. I loved him so much and I spent as much time with him as I could in the end but this past year while I've been severely depressed, I spent less time with him. He was still happy but he deserved better. It hurts so much.

Did you feel irritated by him? If that's the case... I love my cat to bits, at least I think I do? It can be hard to tell because of depression. But I've been very irritable at her lately because all she does is follow me around and meow for attention. And I just desperately want to be left alone irl.

But cats, at least in my experience, tend to be forgiving. And as someone else said earlier, you couldn't have known what would happen.

 

[WinterFaust]

Did you feel irritated by him? If that's the case... I love my cat to bits, at least I think I do? It can be hard to tell because of depression. But I've been very irritable at her lately because all she does is follow me around and meow for attention. And I just desperately want to be left alone irl.

But cats, at least in my experience, tend to be forgiving. And as someone else said earlier, you couldn't have known what would happen.

Honestly sometimes yeah. I loved him to bits but we could both irritate each other. And on my worst days when I couldn't get out of bed to drink water, my family had to feed him. He was a handful even during my best moments but he was very loving and forgiving, even in the end when he was upset about the medicine he had to take to try to get better. He hated it and I felt awful but as weak as he got, he still spent his time with me.

 

[deadgirlahsatan]

So sorry. Going through that is hell. I hate losing at animal. I get more depressed and it is so hard to handle.

 

[WinterFaust]

So sorry. Going through that is hell. I hate losing at animal. I get more depressed and it is so hard to handle.

I'm sorry you've had to suffer through that as well. It really is hard. I think the only that kept me from spiraling too badly was partial denial. I kept distracting myself and sometimes when I thought about it, it didn't feel real even though I always get this sinking feeling.

But it's hitting me hard right now. I don't know what to do with this, it hurts worse than before. How is that possible? I received his ashes and paw print a week ago and I just felt so sad but numb. But now... I can't, I can't handle it. I don't know what else to do with these feelings so I'm posting here again. If anyone sees this, I hope it's not too annoying. Right now, I'm trying to cry quietly because my bedroom walls are thin and the neighbor would probably hear. Trying to breathe through it.

All I have are his ashes now and pictures I can't look at. I don't want his ashes, I want him but that's not... He's never coming back. I failed him. The one living creature that loved me despite it all. All I had to do was care for him but I couldn't even do that right. All I do is waste space and bring misery around me. I'm sorry for this post.

 

[BitterlyAlive]

I'm sorry you've had to suffer through that as well. It really is hard. I think the only that kept me from spiraling too badly was partial denial. I kept distracting myself and sometimes when I thought about it, it didn't feel real even though I always get this sinking feeling.

But it's hitting me hard right now. I don't know what to do with this, it hurts worse than before. How is that possible? I received his ashes and paw print a week ago and I just felt so sad but numb. But now... I can't, I can't handle it. I don't know what else to do with these feelings so I'm posting here again. If anyone sees this, I hope it's not too annoying. Right now, I'm trying to cry quietly because my bedroom walls are thin and the neighbor would probably hear. Trying to breathe through it.

All I have are his ashes now and pictures I can't look at. I don't want his ashes, I want him but that's not... He's never coming back. I failed him. The one living creature that loved me despite it all. All I had to do was care for him but I couldn't even do that right. All I do is waste space and bring misery around me. I'm sorry for this post.

You're not being annoying at all, you're going through a hell of a lot. I wish I could give you a big hug irl. I'm so, so sorry

 

[deadgirlahsatan]

I'm sorry you've had to suffer through that as well. It really is hard. I think the only that kept me from spiraling too badly was partial denial. I kept distracting myself and sometimes when I thought about it, it didn't feel real even though I always get this sinking feeling.

But it's hitting me hard right now. I don't know what to do with this, it hurts worse than before. How is that possible? I received his ashes and paw print a week ago and I just felt so sad but numb. But now... I can't, I can't handle it. I don't know what else to do with these feelings so I'm posting here again. If anyone sees this, I hope it's not too annoying. Right now, I'm trying to cry quietly because my bedroom walls are thin and the neighbor would probably hear. Trying to breathe through it.

All I have are his ashes now and pictures I can't look at. I don't want his ashes, I want him but that's not... He's never coming back. I failed him. The one living creature that loved me despite it all. All I had to do was care for him but I couldn't even do that right. All I do is waste space and bring misery around me. I'm sorry for this post.

Thank you. It is hell for sure.

Ur post is not annoying at all. Ur going through horrible pain. Losing an animal friend hurts so bad. It is torture.

It's not ur fault he died. U didn't fail him at all. He knows that.

I like to think animals are in a better place after they pass. Idk if there is an after life but it would be nice if there is one and all the animals are healthy and happy forever. I also hope to see my animals one day but idk if that will ever happen of course.

 

[mmt]

Very sorry for your loss.

 

[melancholy_lily]

I'm sorry, 8 is young for a cat I'm sorry you've lost your fur baby so soon. I lost mine a couple years ago and it was the saddest day of my life.

I haven't got another one yet cause of my living situation but look into getting another one if you can, it may give you the strength to keep going and I believe you will honor your cat by continuing to love another of its kind, pets truly are miracles to our mental health.

 

[Mr2005]

I got upset reading that. He's one of the few things I live for. Him and my girlfriend. I know how demanding it is though and how I can't provide for either of them. I also know if I go first it avoids a lot of heartache (for me) further down the line

 

[Soul]

@WinterFaust, I'm so sorry your sweet cat is gone. You did your best for him - he knows you love him and he's not suffering now, which is a good thing. It isn't your fault he was sick - cats hide their illnesses as long as they can, it's in their genes to do that.

You did your best for him. He knows that. His purrs stay in your heart x

 

[Final Escape]

 

[sufferingalways]

He's gone. It's been a little over 24 hours. I was with him when he passed but I still keep expecting him to loudly push my bedroom door open and jump on my bed. But he's not here.

He was 8 and I've had him since he was only a few weeks old. I loved him so much but I failed him. He was my best friend and for the past year the only one I had for support in person.
It was a tough week. Last night was the third and final vet visit since Sunday. He had a urinary blockage on Sunday which I paid to fix and then he became blocked again two days later. I didn't really have much money to spare but I had him hospitalized yesterday anyway and try. He was my best friend, I couldn't let him go without a fight, even though I'm unemployed and my housing situation is not stable. (Thank you to the kind folks in the chat last night who talked the decision over with me when I had no one else to turn to) My cat was ill but the prognosis was hopeful at first. It was incredibly expensive but he was worth it. After some blood work, it turned out that my poor boy was very sick and had other long standing health issues before the blockage. I had to let him go. He was all I had and I failed him... I miss him so much.

Sorry for your loss. You haven't failed him, it sounds like you did all you could.

I'm sorry, 8 is young for a cat I'm sorry you've lost your fur baby so soon. I lost mine a couple years ago and it was the saddest day of my life.

I haven't got another one yet cause of my living situation but look into getting another one if you can, it may give you the strength to keep going and I believe you will honor your cat by continuing to love another of its kind,

pets truly are miracles to our mental health.

Amen to that sentiment. My 2 teenage cats are my support too.

I'm sorry you've had to suffer through that as well. It really is hard. I think the only that kept me from spiraling too badly was partial denial. I kept distracting myself and sometimes when I thought about it, it didn't feel real even though I always get this sinking feeling.

But it's hitting me hard right now. I don't know what to do with this, it hurts worse than before. How is that possible? I received his ashes and paw print a week ago and I just felt so sad but numb. But now... I can't, I can't handle it. I don't know what else to do with these feelings so I'm posting here again. If anyone sees this, I hope it's not too annoying. Right now, I'm trying to cry quietly because my bedroom walls are thin and the neighbor would probably hear. Trying to breathe through it.

All I have are his ashes now and pictures I can't look at. I don't want his ashes, I want him but that's not... He's never coming back. I failed him. The one living creature that loved me despite it all. All I had to do was care for him but I couldn't even do that right. All I do is waste space and bring misery around me. I'm sorry for this post.

Sending you big hugs. There's nothing to be ashamed of regarding how you feel. I'm scared of the day that will come with my cats who are 17 and 16. I'm already a mess, can't imagine feeling worse with yet another death.

 

[wanttodie]

sorry for yourloss