• Hey Guest,

    We wanted to share a quick update with the community.

    Our public expense ledger is now live, allowing anyone to see how donations are used to support the ongoing operation of the site.

    👉 View the ledger here

    Over the past year, increased regulatory pressure in multiple regions like UK OFCOM and Australia's eSafety has led to higher operational costs, including infrastructure, security, and the need to work with more specialized service providers to keep the site online and stable.

    If you value the community and would like to help support its continued operation, donations are greatly appreciated. If you wish to donate via Bank Transfer or other options, please open a ticket.

    Donate via cryptocurrency:

    Bitcoin (BTC):
    Ethereum (ETH):
    Monero (XMR):
MyPropellerWontSpin

MyPropellerWontSpin

Member
Feb 4, 2026
32
My dreams are usually very incoherent and vague so this might not make a lot of sense but I'll try my best to explain it clearly. Just wanna preface that my preferred method was CO, isn't anymore due to varies reasons.

I was in an unfamiliar dark room, a place I've never been at before, I was inhaling CO but there wasn't really any evidence of that, no charcoal around me, but my brain knew I was. Most of my dreams feel like that, the events occurring don't entirely match up with what my brains perceiving. I felt super foggy and panicky in the dream and at some point I saw this open window which was just a few steps away from and in my mind I was repeatedly telling myself to close it because the CO was escaping, but my body wouldn't move. An awful wave of helplessness washed over me and I was scared, really scared. I think after that I woke up, if I'm recalling it correctly. It all does sound a bit stupid now that I've written it out.

It just hit me that I should probably be referring to this as a nightmare instead of a dream, lol. Anyways this has probably affected my likelihood of going through with this method, which seems irrational I know, dreams are nothing but meaningless brain activity but I just feel like I'll constantly think about this when I'm actually going through with it. And this isn't the only reason of course, I can't attempt this method in a car or a tent (the two main ways to go about it) and initially I had planned to do it in a small compartment in my closet which I thought was perfect but I live with my family and I wouldn't want to harm them, turning the fan on in my room and opening the windows might not be enough, man...I've already bought the charcoal, what a waste. But if anyone knows if it could be done without harming anyone else let me know. Thanks for reading, hopefully this wasn't all over the place.
 
  • Hugs
Reactions: aufrechtm7, Yogih212 and Left to rot
Y

Yogih212

Member
Feb 3, 2026
50
I had a dream today too about CBT'ing by drinking poison, but I had a partner lol, was quite soothing funny enough ( I have SN actually and plan to use that ) Cool that you dreamt about CBT'ing too, also just strange how the subconcious start to show that more and more as it becomes more of a reality in the waking life
 
  • Love
Reactions: MyPropellerWontSpin
MyPropellerWontSpin

MyPropellerWontSpin

Member
Feb 4, 2026
32
I had a dream today too about CBT'ing by drinking poison, but I had a partner lol, was quite soothing funny enough ( I have SN actually and plan to use that ) Cool that you dreamt about CBT'ing too, also just strange how the subconcious start to show that more and more as it becomes more of a reality in the waking life
happy to hear that urs was soothing, sounds nice :)

I too am considering SN but I really REALLY don't want to chug an entire glass (maybe even two) of gross salt water and I most definitely don't want to vomit my guts out
 
  • Hugs
Reactions: aufrechtm7

Similar threads

M
  • Question
Replies
22
Views
706
Suicide Discussion
Liebestod
Liebestod
raikko
Replies
5
Views
221
Suicide Discussion
tonicer
tonicer
burninghill
Replies
2
Views
125
Suicide Discussion
meddle
meddle
apistatcommander
Replies
4
Views
107
Suicide Discussion
VegasLyra
VegasLyra