Guys

[rabbithole]

I really really want to live a good life and can't come to terms with the fact that my body and mind will not allow this. Especially my body. My mind was definitely marred by mental illness before last year but now it's totaled. And my body is wrecked. I have damage to my sacral nerves so no sexual function whatsoever, incontinence and really bad nerve pain. Luckily the pain has given me breaks.
Sorry just more venting. When the sun is out and I'm looking at my cats I just hate to think I have to give it up. Yet I have no options other than suffer endlessly or die. Frick. What a weird and unfortunate thing to happen. It's so damn rare for a lumbar puncture to go so wrong.

 

[WornOutLife]

Damn, I'm so sorry to hear you're suffering so much.
Hope you find peace someday and can finally relax.

 

[rabbithole]

Lol my car died with the nitrite in it and my dad almost found it. He still might because he's trying to get it started. In which case I'll be f'd beyond belief. Yeek.

Damn, I'm so sorry to hear you're suffering so much.
Hope you find peace someday and can finally relax.

Thank you so much. All I want to do is relax man. And it's not going to be possible for the rest of my life. Hard to face that reality.

hope you're okay today <3

 

[dontlookatme]

don't give up completely about sexual enjoyment. there's a lot to enjoy about sex besides receiving genital stimulation!
are you connected to a support group for people with nerve conditions like yours? that might support your coping with your physical condition.
but yo, I'm in the same boat as far as mental health goes

 

[stygal]

Im sorry youre in pain OP :(

Due to my health condition I'm a sufferer from some occasional nerve pain too...it's something that can literally drive you insane and there arent any meds to take the edge off.
It for sure plays a major part in my decision to ctb otherwise I might stick around longer and see what the future holds.

 

[rabbithole]

don't give up completely about sexual enjoyment. there's a lot to enjoy about sex besides receiving genital stimulation!
are you connected to a support group for people with nerve conditions like yours? that might support your coping with your physical condition.
but yo, I'm in the same boat as far as mental health goes

It causes a lot of discomfort and disassociating from my body that makes it hard to work with unfortunately. Plus my partner broke up with me due to my condition. But I get what you mean. I'm sorry you're struggling mentally. I hope you don't resort to ctb and try every possible treatment before you make a decision.

 

[Wrennie]

I really really want to live a good life and can't come to terms with the fact that my body and mind will not allow this. Especially my body. My mind was definitely marred by mental illness before last year but now it's totaled. And my body is wrecked. I have damage to my sacral nerves so no sexual function whatsoever, incontinence and really bad nerve pain. Luckily the pain has given me breaks.
Sorry just more venting. When the sun is out and I'm looking at my cats I just hate to think I have to give it up. Yet I have no options other than suffer endlessly or die. Frick. What a weird and unfortunate thing to happen. It's so damn rare for a lumbar puncture to go so wrong.

I'm so dreadfully sorry for what you're having to go through.
When problems are strictly mental it's incapacitating enough, but adding physical disability into the mix just pushes a person over the edge.
If it's any consolation, I lost my sexual function as well, so you aren't alone in that regard! *hugs*

 

[rabbithole]

I'm so dreadfully sorry for what you're having to go through.
When problems are strictly mental it's incapacitating enough, but adding physical disability into the mix just pushes a person over the edge.
If it's any consolation, I lost my sexual function as well, so you aren't alone in that regard! *hugs*

Thank you <3
It definitely does drive one over the edge. It's just too much for my tangled mind to figure out. Before I had the luxury of peaceful moments but I don't now. I'm so afraid I won't have the courage to ctb until things get truly horrific. My family situation is bad. I don't know. I want to fall asleep and never wake up so damn badly.
Hugs to you also and I'm sorry you lost your sexual function. It's definitely a quality of life issue.

 

[freedomfreezerstar]

I really really want to live a good life and can't come to terms with the fact that my body and mind will not allow this. Especially my body. My mind was definitely marred by mental illness before last year but now it's totaled. And my body is wrecked. I have damage to my sacral nerves so no sexual function whatsoever, incontinence and really bad nerve pain. Luckily the pain has given me breaks.
Sorry just more venting. When the sun is out and I'm looking at my cats I just hate to think I have to give it up. Yet I have no options other than suffer endlessly or die. Frick. What a weird and unfortunate thing to happen. It's so damn rare for a lumbar puncture to go so wrong.

Maybe exhaust all of your options, alternative therapists, sound healing, sacral sound healing, reiki, whatever. I would want to stay in this life too because of minecraft, but it is hard yet not imoossible