I can't tell you how many times in a day I think about CTB. I just walked myself down to the lake. I know I can't swim. I tried to drink something. I just know I can't swim and I can't do that. I am looking for quick and fast and have given up painless. I messed up my life and I am confident no one around me can help. I keep messing up others lives and I just want it to stop. I have a gun I bought some years ago. I only when yo the shooting range once, and shot it probably one more time. I am not sure about where to aim. But I want to be sure I am gone. It's a Springfield hellcat. I imagine I only get one shot. I want to do it in the dead of the night. I plan to drive my car somewhere and pull the trigger. I have extreme social anxiety and can't stand talking to anyone. I have told people I want to kill myself so no one should see it as a surprise. I live with my boyfriend but I'm not going to put him through this. I would love a gun expert to talk to me and let me know where I can aim. Again, other options have been considered. I don't have money for SN nor the means to acquire it. I can't hang myself there's no place to do it, partial or full suspension. If anyone is up. I live in the United States and I can't want to log out now.
knowledgeseeking
Member
- Apr 5, 2025
- 29
Sorry for your pain bro. Gun is actually one method I have been considering. I've also got a 9mm. I read people that don't live in places like where I'm at in TX wish they had our kind of access to guns, but like all methods a gun has several major downsides. Ideally you'll want to hit your brainstem. That is the quickest way out. Most people I have read have tried to accomplish this by going through the roof of the mouth and pointing up towards the brain. I don't know that I would personally choose this position as I personally feel that if you don't aim correctly you could just disfigure yourself horribly. My plan would be shoot just behind and a little above the ear. I choose that position thinking that I would have more control and it would be effected to go through both hemispheres of the brain. I have often thought about using my gun to end it, but I do worry about being saved or ending up disabled, but honestly I think a shot where I mentioned would more than likely do the job. I also thought taking a handful of acetaminophen 20 minutes before would be a way to thin the blood, increasing the rate I would bleed out. It's considerate of you not to do it where anyone you love has to find the mess. That has been a main reason for me not to do this method. Seeing me with a gun shot to the head or even the mess left behind would be traumatizing.
I wish you peace in journey.
I wish you peace in journey.
