Quite honestly, I think if someone has done really terrible, cruel things there isn't a button to press that can miraculously make it go away. I think you will always have that guilt inside you in some form. To know better and to know that it was wrong and to still do those cruel things was a choice you made that may always live inside you. There are some things that you can never move on from and that can never be made up for. You show guilt in your post heading and talk as if it bothers you. You know better and so even if you have no empathy and you don't think you can be a good person, you do have a brain that knows what is wrong and when it's wrong. Don't add anymore things that can torment you as you stated it's one of the reasons you want to CBD. Also, not everyone can get past you telling them all the cruel things you have done, if you can't, how will they? I think it's part obsessive thoughts that make you need to say everything and you wanting to be forgiven for what you have done and told that it is okay and that's not going to happen with most people, in my opinion. As stated earlier you do show quilt and you do show that it bothers you in some way so I think that you could be a better person. If this is one of the reasons you want to CTB than you are in some way sorry for what you have done and that shows some care inside of you. You can't change the past, you might not ever even be able to forget it, but you can start today to not add anymore torment to yourself.
