Help Grown-ass rude adults

[madbananas]

So our work were doing secret Santa, was told it was to be limited to £15. So I have barely been there for long, didn't know people that well. So I got my person a gift which was based on a famous person she said she loved. Granted, the gift in itself wasn't fantastic, but I thought that she would at least think it was a thoughtful gift, as in someone had remembered a conversation where she was talking about what she loved etc. So anyway, she opens it, stands up and calls it "sh*t" in front of everyone and about starts crying. Other people also said it was rubbish. Someone else also said the same about the gift someone got them too.
I actually couldn't believe what I witnessed. Turns out, despite the £15 limit, everyone was just meant to know to spend at least double that. I know it may sound ridiculous, but I'm so upset, disappointed and humiliated. Hours later and I'm still feeling like crying. I can't believe how a bunch of adults responded to gifts, and how seriously they took secret Santa when it comes to receiving the gifts. I've been brought up to appreciate any gift, because someone's taken the time and spent the money in picking something out for you. I literally cannot believe what happened, I'm in shock.

 

[Brick In The Wall]

I've been brought up to appreciate any gift, because someone's taken the time and spent the money in picking something out for you. I literally cannot believe what happened, I'm in shock.

This is the most important part here. You were raised right. You actually remembered some inane fact about someone and put thought into your gift. Don't let this incident change that about you.

"Never look a gift horse in the mouth" applies perfectly here. It sounds like you work with a bunch of shallow and materialistic children. Hold your head up knowing you did right.

 

[Weather]

I'm sorry this happened. I think it was really great that you remembered something personal about the person you were assigned, and I would have been really touched had it been me.

Good grief, it's a work thing -- anyone that expects a spendy gift from a work event is out of their mind anyway.

 

[mlmc045]

Really sorry to hear about what happened :( You don't sound ridiculous at all. It sucks that your kindness wasn't appreciated Your work place doesn't sound very nice, but you sound lovely. Your feelings are valid, and I'd most likely feel the same way in your situation. Hoping your day/night gets better

 

[foxdie]

So our work were doing secret Santa, was told it was to be limited to £15. So I have barely been there for long, didn't know people that well. So I got my person a gift which was based on a famous person she said she loved. Granted, the gift in itself wasn't fantastic, but I thought that she would at least think it was a thoughtful gift, as in someone had remembered a conversation where she was talking about what she loved etc. So anyway, she opens it, stands up and calls it "sh*t" in front of everyone and about starts crying. Other people also said it was rubbish. Someone else also said the same about the gift someone got them too.
I actually couldn't believe what I witnessed. Turns out, despite the £15 limit, everyone was just meant to know to spend at least double that. I know it may sound ridiculous, but I'm so upset, disappointed and humiliated. Hours later and I'm still feeling like crying. I can't believe how a bunch of adults responded to gifts, and how seriously they took secret Santa when it comes to receiving the gifts. I've been brought up to appreciate any gift, because someone's taken the time and spent the money in picking something out for you. I literally cannot believe what happened, I'm in shock.

This is absolutely ridiculous. You have nothing to feel bad about. Those other so-called adults need to grow up. Hell, they have a job and can buy whatever they want, it's just a gift. So silly, don't beat yourself up over this nonsense.

 

[madbananas]

This is the most important part here. You were raised right. You actually remembered some inane fact about someone and put thought into your gift. Don't let this incident change that about you.

"Never look a gift horse in the mouth" applies perfectly here. It sounds like you work with a bunch of shallow and materialistic children. Hold your head up knowing you did right.

Thank you. I needed some support with this haha. And as you've said that, honestly, I've seen children act better receiving gifts. I'm just so in shock and feel so humiliated. It was like one of those moments where your surrounding closes in on you and you feel sick because of humiliation it was so bad. I managed to keep myself together until I left but then I was a mess. Thanks again for the comment, I feel a lot better.

I'm sorry this happened. I think it was really great that you remembered something personal about the person you were assigned, and I would have been really touched had it been me.

Good grief, it's a work thing -- anyone that expects a spendy gift from a work event is out of their mind anyway.

Thank you. And I know! I thought it was just going to be a "fun" thing, more so about the giving and the opening, less so about what it actually is. Especially when they said the limit was £15 but then a lot of people obviously spent wayyy up from that. Thanks for your comment, I feel a lot better

 

[Brick In The Wall]

Thank you. I needed some support with this haha. And as you've said that, honestly, I've seen children act better receiving gifts. I'm just so in shock and feel so humiliated. It was like one of those moments where your surrounding closes in on you and you feel sick because of humiliation it was so bad. I managed to keep myself together until I left but then I was a mess. Thanks again for the comment, I feel a lot better.

If someone brings it up at work you say exactly what you just said. "I've seen children act better at receiving gifts." Don't let them brow beat you on it if it comes up again. Otherwise they'll turn on you like a pack of fucking wolves.

I know that initial shock feeling and all the flood of emotions that come with it. You did a good job holding it together, if you wouldn't have it would've made you look weak. It's okay to let those emotions out later on though and it's good that you did. I'm glad I could help even if it was just a little bit

 

[madbananas]

Really sorry to hear about what happened :( You don't sound ridiculous at all. It sucks that your kindness wasn't appreciated Your work place doesn't sound very nice, but you sound lovely. Your feelings are valid, and I'd most likely feel the same way in your situation. Hoping your day/night gets better

Thank you so much. I do feel a lot better speaking to yourself and everyone else who has commented on here. I had heard the workplace was childish at times but I honestly couldn't believe my eyes and ears when that happened today lol, I'm still shocked yet!

This is absolutely ridiculous. You have nothing to feel bad about. Those other so-called adults need to grow up. Hell, they have a job and can buy whatever they want, it's just a gift. So silly, don't beat yourself up over this nonsense.

Thank you Exactly, it's a joke how serious they took it. If everyone just stuck to the price limit it would have been easier and more fun, but hey I feel a lot better now that I have spoken with yourself and the other kind people on this forum.

If someone brings it up at work you say exactly what you just said. "I've seen children act better at receiving gifts." Don't let them brow beat you on it if it comes up again. Otherwise they'll turn on you like a pack of fucking wolves.

I know that initial shock feeling and all the flood of emotions that come with it. You did a good job holding it together, if you wouldn't have it would've made you look weak. It's okay to let those emotions out later on though and it's good that you did. I'm glad I could help even if it was just a little bit

Thank you! Yeah I'll definitely be saying that. Thankfully I'm more angry now than upset, mainly because of how they acted and how concerning it is given they are supposed to be professional, trustworthy adults. I mean I was angry earlier, but at first my anger always shows up as tears Which I hate because like you say, if I hadn't kept it together I'd have been seen as weak. I think it's maybe because now I don't feel so humiliated because obviously speaking to yourself and others on this has helped me rationalise that I've not been ridiculous . Thanks again for responding. Sending hugs!

 

[Despondent]

I'm so sorry. This isn't at all ridiculous that you're upset and if that happened to me, I would be just as upset as you are. People can be immature and unappreciative even when they're "adults." It is the thought that matters, not the price on the gift.

I really hope that they realize how much of an ass they made themselves look. The entire workplace -- the coworker you gifted, the other coworker that said the same thing about their gift, and anyone who didn't say anything for you whether they knew it was you or not.

 

[MindFrog]

This is why I dread exchange gift events. People give too much pressure on their secret santas on a gift that they won't use often. There's just a bigger chance of getting it wrong. Even if you hand a coupon, they'll say it boring. Gift giving only works on close knit friends and families.

 

[madbananas]

I'm so sorry. This isn't at all ridiculous and if that happened to me, I would be just as upset as you are. People can be immature and unappreciative even when they're "adults." It is the thought that matters, not the price on the gift.

I really hope that they realize how much of an ass they made themselves look. The entire workplace -- the coworker you gifted, the other coworker that said the same thing about their gift, and anyone who didn't say anything for you whether they knew it was you or not.

Thank you! "Gross" is the exact right word for it! I'm still a bit in shock lol, like I'm actually just lying in my bed right now like "did that just happen" kind of feeling.
I then felt bad because I had to really put an act on when I opened mine, and I love mine but it was definitely over £15. But the reason I had to act was because I was feeling so hurt by what had happened when the person I had bought for opened theirs. Thankfully I think I still came across as appreciative as I noticed the colours of the gift and pointed out it was my favourite colour etc. I just never thought it was going to turn into such a serious event

 

[Ghost2211]

That's really messed up, I'm sorry you went through that. It was really cool you remembered the person's specific interests, and got something personal for them. It's really sad your coworkers are entitled spoiled brats. If they set a price limit then it was reasonable and logical to stay in that limit, and it's pretty disgusting your coworkers shamed people for doing so.

 

[madbananas]

This is why I dread exchange gift events. People give too much pressure on their secret santas on a gift that they won't use often. There's just a bigger chance of getting it wrong. Even if you hand a coupon, they'll say it boring. Gift giving only works on close knit friends and families.

Exactly, there's far too much pressure. Which is ridiculous, because if everyone had just stuck to the £15 limit then at the very least we would all be in the same boat. I just can't get my head around how Christmas (as adults) is still about what the gifts are and their value, rather than just the fun aspect of giving and receiving! But hey, I reckon it's a sign of societal values. Money rules the world. And you're certainly not alone about hating gift exchange! Sending hugs.

That's really messed up, I'm sorry you went through that. It was really cool you remembered the person's specific interests, and got something personal for them. It's really sad your coworkers are entitled spoiled brats. If they set a price limit then it was reasonable and logical to stay in that limit, and it's pretty disgusting your coworkers shamed people for doing so.

Thank you, I feel a lot better from speaking with kind people like yourself that are here. I've been shocked before by things in my life but the shock of the behaviour of these adults was just immense If I had acted like that when receiving a gift as a child, I'd have been told to go to my room and to not come out until I learn to appreciate what matters. I mean, in my opinion and experience, secret Santa at work is really just a festive activity that is meant to be fun, not taken so seriously.

 

[puppy9]

Once I filled a bag of coal and wrapped it nicely for a Secret Santa event.

For me Secret Santa is all about the prank.

 

[madbananas]

Once I filled a bag of coal and wrapped it nicely for a Secret Santa event.

For me Secret Santa is all about the prank.

That's brilliant!! I would have laughed so much if I received that

 

[Bigpink]

That is just absurd, the correct thing would have been for this person to have accepted graciously. Don't worry about this spoilt adult child.

 

[madbananas]

That is just absurd, the correct thing would have been for this person to have accepted graciously. Don't worry about this spoilt adult child.

Thank you. It absolutely is absurd! I wish I'd opted out of secret Santa, but at the same time, yourself and everyone else here have made me feel a lot better and more justified in my gift giving, that I am not stupid like this woman's behaviour led me to feel.

 

[BitterlyAlive_]

Wow, their behavior is appalling. It was clear you put a lot of thought into your gift, and the "norm" to spend 2x the set monetary limit is stupid, seems like virtue signaling and kinda smug to me.

You have the right to be upset, it was an an awful and embarrassing situation. Thank you for coming here and sharing instead of keeping it bottled up, it sounds like it's had a really negative effect on you and I'm glad you reached out. Just read your most recent post, and you are not stupid at all. I'm so sorry she and the others made you feel that way, and I'm sorry they ruined what is meant to be a joyful and thoughtful gift exchange.

 

[HopelessBorderline]

If one thing I have learned from my shitty existence is to not give a flying fuck what others think.
Heck I hate my life and I know not to take life so seriously.
So they didn't like their gift, so what? The ungrateful bastard. What matters is you hardly know this person and you still got them a gift, not only that but a gift you put thought in to. You did a lovely gesture and it is unfortunate that it went unnoticed.
At the end of the day, nothing really matters. Stick your middle finger up, tomorrow is another day. Just remember that you know you did a nice thing. People are shit.

 

[WornOutLife]

There are some people who suck and never change. You have nothing to be sorry for. You did an excellent job and I would've loved your gift.

Anyway, avoid the wrong crowd from now on. They're not worthy of you.