• Hey Guest,

    If you would still like to donate, you still can. We have more than enough funds to cover operating expenses for quite a while, so don't worry about donating if you aren't able. If you want to donate something other than what is listed, you can contact RainAndSadness.

    Bitcoin Address (BTC): 39deg9i6Zp1GdrwyKkqZU6rAbsEspvLBJt

    Ethereum (ETH): 0xd799aF8E2e5cEd14cdb344e6D6A9f18011B79BE9

    Monero (XMR): 49tuJbzxwVPUhhDjzz6H222Kh8baKe6rDEsXgE617DVSDD8UKNaXvKNU8dEVRTAFH9Av8gKkn4jDzVGF25snJgNfUfKKNC8

1043169

1043169

I put the HOT in psychotic
Jul 9, 2024
92
Anyone grow up on the internet watching crazy shit and graphic videos? I'm talking BestGore, LiveLeak.

Do you feel this has wrecked your sense of judgement and your actions with defying societal norms (such as… idk, being on this forum?).

I'm mid-30s and I feel that growing up watching 9/11 live on TV and hostage videos and videos of public suicides etc have really warped my sense of reason of adhering to societal norms. Desensitized me to death and gore.

Maybe that's part of the reason why I am the way I am.
 
  • Informative
  • Hugs
  • Like
Reactions: GoatHerder, Nothing87, pilotviolin and 2 others
Fleki

Fleki

Machine Elf
Jul 7, 2024
19
My dumb shithead kid brain wouldn't have known where to find anything like that. I killed time by reading the articles for every color of Yoshi on the Mario wiki. With that said though it's worth noting that we're a little distant in age haha.
 
  • Love
  • Like
Reactions: 1043169 and Saturn_
Saturn_

Saturn_

I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead.
Apr 22, 2024
392
Oh absolutely. Saw a lot of gore at ages 10-12 or so. It desensitized me alright, but as I grew up, I decided to try and use that desensitization to help people. I would always listen to people vent for hours and hours about their deepest darkest traumas if they needed to, because I've seen and heard a lot worse, and I felt like I was able to handle that. I'm kind of glad that I've been emotionally blunted, because if I didn't have the ability to tune out, I'd probably be dead by now. I guess it can be a double-edged sword.
 
  • Like
Reactions: 1043169 and DefinitelyReady
DefinitelyReady

DefinitelyReady

Life is definitely not a song...
Mar 14, 2024
888
Oh absolutely. Saw a lot of gore at ages 10-12 or so. It desensitized me alright, but as I grew up, I decided to try and use that desensitization to help people. I would always listen to people vent for hours and hours about their deepest darkest traumas if they needed to, because I've seen and heard a lot worse, and I felt like I was able to handle that. I'm kind of glad that I've been emotionally blunted, because if I didn't have the ability to tune out, I'd probably be dead by now. I guess it can be a double-edged sword.
It can be easy, being a decent person, for others to catch on and try to use you for sympathy and an ear. It's hard to say no, bjt I think you need to learn fast that it's not selfish to put up boundaries and say "no" to preserve what you can for yourself and your sanity.
 
  • Hugs
Reactions: Saturn_
Saturn_

Saturn_

I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead.
Apr 22, 2024
392
It can be easy, being a decent person, for others to catch on and try to use you for sympathy and an ear. It's hard to say no, bjt I think you need to learn fast that it's not selfish to put up boundaries and say "no" to preserve what you can for yourself and your sanity.
They didn't use me though. I did lots of that stuff out of my own free will, and because I wanted to get to know them better as people. I think once someone pushed it way too far and treated me like shit in the process, and I just stopped talking to that person. The rest were respectful and reasonable about it.
 
  • Informative
Reactions: DefinitelyReady
DefinitelyReady

DefinitelyReady

Life is definitely not a song...
Mar 14, 2024
888
They didn't use me though. I did lots of that stuff out of my own free will, and because I wanted to get to know them better as people. I think once someone pushed it way too far and treated me like shit in the process, and I just stopped talking to that person. The rest were respectful and reasonable about it.
Guess I'm just far more stingy and picky with the people I interact with😂
Such a "Karen..."😉
True to my pfp🤣
 
  • Hugs
Reactions: Saturn_
Dr Iron Arc

Dr Iron Arc

Into the Unknown
Feb 10, 2020
20,139
I was never fascinated enough with gore to delve deep into the content so I am still pretty sensitive to any gore I see if I happen to come across it. From my early days on the internet, I am way more traumatized by "screamers" or other blatantly terrifying horror things like creepypastas and stuff. I'm glad I didn't grow up a zoomer or I might have gotten bullied for not appreciating Five Nights at Freddy's or Poppy's Playtime or whatever weird indie horror game the kids are into these days. One time I saw a jumpscare and I couldn't move out of my bed for three days (this was back in my university dorm when I was already skipping classes).

I guess maybe in terms of long term damage the kinds of smut and sexual content I was exposed to on the internet may have also had lasting consequences on my psyche as well but I don't consider my interests to be too depraved or degenerate, a little embarrassing but nothing outwardly violent or concerning either.
 
pilotviolin

pilotviolin

five lives too late, and there's blood in my hair
Jan 27, 2024
246
Anyone grow up on the internet watching crazy shit and graphic videos? I'm talking BestGore, LiveLeak.

Do you feel this has wrecked your sense of judgement and your actions with defying societal norms (such as… idk, being on this forum?).

I'm mid-30s and I feel that growing up watching 9/11 live on TV and hostage videos and videos of public suicides etc have really warped my sense of reason of adhering to societal norms. Desensitized me to death and gore.

Maybe that's part of the reason why I am the way I am.
yes. grown up all my life on the internet, infinitely more satellites, cameras, algorithms, data analysts watching over us than angels. there is gore, pedophilia, murder, awfulness everywhere and almost normalised online. the internet is a manmade god and not many people understand the extend of their own offerings and sacrifices to it, not even myself. my fake sense of judgement is random bullshit the contradictory consensus generates and it takes me awhile to have a proper sense of self and values.
 
  • Love
Reactions: Saturn_
lamargue

lamargue

pugilist
Jun 5, 2024
196
letting a child browse the internet unsupervised is like letting him pry open the jowls of a sleeping lion
 
  • Like
Reactions: wCvML2
enduringwinter

enduringwinter

flower, water
Jun 20, 2024
113
I grew up in third world squalor with almost no access to computers. The country was still sanctioned when I was born. Would have rather seen stuff on the internet than live its reality
 
Nothing87

Nothing87

Goodbye for now
Jun 5, 2024
60
Anyone grow up on the internet watching crazy shit and graphic videos? I'm talking BestGore, LiveLeak.

Do you feel this has wrecked your sense of judgement and your actions with defying societal norms (such as… idk, being on this forum?).

I'm mid-30s and I feel that growing up watching 9/11 live on TV and hostage videos and videos of public suicides etc have really warped my sense of reason of adhering to societal norms. Desensitized me to death and gore.

Maybe that's part of the reason why I am the way I am.
When I was a kid I used to browse the internet unsupervised and It absolutely fucked me up. I saw a lot of messed up things at that time and it mentally scarred me. What I experienced in real-life and online is the reason why I am this way, mentally disturbed and trying to catch up to societal norms/trying to be a normal person. Being a grown up, I felt jealous on people who lives a normal and innocent life and I felt ashamed of myself on why is my life like this.
 
AmericanMary

AmericanMary

Arcanist
Apr 30, 2024
438
This is an interesting topic.

I went down a gruesome horror movie path for a while when I was a teenager. Nothing really got to me. Except one. A S F are the initials of this 3 worded horror movie. That one definitely messed me up as a teenager.

The path I followed was like cannibal holocaust, I spit on your grave series, dead girl, girl next door, martyrs, salo, human centipede series, etc.

Homie from human centipede 2 was at an event I attended. I asked him to autograph sandpaper when I was a teenager. He did and said "where is your dad?" Hahahahah ooops. Iykyk

Later in life I turned to some very alternative communities and I'm curious if this didn't play a role.

I've rewatched some of these movies as a traumatized adult and don't understand how I casually watched these with friends as kids tho.

today, like nothing rly bothers me to see if I'm not involved. I am also soooo desensitized to pain. Unsure of what's going on in the noggin.
 

Similar threads

goodoldnoname923
Replies
45
Views
2K
Suicide Discussion
Eternal Eyes
Eternal Eyes
A
Replies
4
Views
372
Suicide Discussion
CTB Dream
CTB Dream
Redleaf1992
Replies
3
Views
508
Recovery
jarik
jarik
A
Replies
0
Views
185
Suicide Discussion
AnyWonderBR
A