B
brokenbirb
New Member
- Jun 5, 2023
- 2
Hi everyone. Short time lurker and new member. I am wondering if anyone else struggles with intense grief from relationship losses, and has acquired anhedonia as a result.
My losses are many: both parents, husband, all grandparents, several friends, cousins, aunts & uncles. Most of the deaths were suicides, overdoses, complications with alcohol, or COVID. I struggle with flashbacks and ruminations associated with these events and have been diagnosed with CPTSD.
I also have treatment resistant MDD (name it, I've tried it) and total anhedonia which certainly makes it hard to push forward with life. I was once a very emotional person...not exactly a "normie" as I was very sensitive and concerned with the needs of others, especially my family, which is now almost gone. I don't believe in an afterlife (maybe there is one, I don't know) and I never feel closure (grief therapy hasn't been helpful.)
I don't want to CTB but I also don't really want to live anymore and was wondering if anyone at all could relate, on any level.
My losses are many: both parents, husband, all grandparents, several friends, cousins, aunts & uncles. Most of the deaths were suicides, overdoses, complications with alcohol, or COVID. I struggle with flashbacks and ruminations associated with these events and have been diagnosed with CPTSD.
I also have treatment resistant MDD (name it, I've tried it) and total anhedonia which certainly makes it hard to push forward with life. I was once a very emotional person...not exactly a "normie" as I was very sensitive and concerned with the needs of others, especially my family, which is now almost gone. I don't believe in an afterlife (maybe there is one, I don't know) and I never feel closure (grief therapy hasn't been helpful.)
I don't want to CTB but I also don't really want to live anymore and was wondering if anyone at all could relate, on any level.