Got to find a way

[Susan Caswell]

I have to find a way to peace i can stand a lot but not this deafening roaring hammering drilling hissing tinnitus and hyperacusis so bad i cant take my own voice anxiety of it crippling why wont it stop and let me get well on with my life that was just perfect why this me now had so much to do i never thought id have to consider taking my own life and ive tried to live with this but can you imagine jet plane roaring in you ears 3 years never stops i just want to be at peace now why isnt there one fatal pill i always thought there was is there such a thing a cyanide pill there must be something still terrified only option is jump but what if i dont die and crippled and still deafening tinnitus i was always so happy busy loving life this is cruel x

 

[noname223]

Tinnitus must be horrible. I am sorry for you. I was always more a pessimist about life. Is there anything that helps?

 

[Susan Caswell]

Tinnitus must be horrible. I am sorry for you. I was always more a pessimist about life. Is there anything that helps?

Nothing and boy have i tried ive spent £10,000 trying to get to the bottom of this and well i had a life lovely perfect happy just dont know where this came from or why came on from nowhere wish just stop id take some getting well now but could at least try but deafening roaring hammering both ears day and night its taken terrible toll i was so healthy ate well lived well very calm happy this is suffering i never knew possible wish just go bang and stop dear god i need help its torturing me to death i dont even know how to go its cruel i cant stand a lot ive survived cancer a back operation a breast operation but this is too much for me i dont know if anyone else could stand this ive tried and tried i coped with it at first but when the amplifying started i couldnt stand the noise or mask it im so very tired can you help me i thought there was one pill take it gone like the films not so it seems i so valued life and lived mine all i wanted was rest of my life as i was i was so fit busy out every day have everything i could want then this i thought id had all my medical quota and more but never this i knew of tinnitus had hissing years never bothered me but this different beast altogether i want my life back me back healthy doing all i planned

 

[Spitfire]

My heart goes out to you.

 

[Susan Caswell]

My heart goes out to you.

Thank you just wish it would stop and i could message its down stopped could kick myself getting so unwell but wish never touched any meds this would have been ok might even have stopped by now but when it started i could cope one ear one noise im sure all the toxic meds have made it so bad and damaged my ears all i want is it to stop and id get well just wish with this much anxiety i just go to sleep and never wake up its tragic just not this nothing would have got me like this i can stand pain had many operations but this both ears never stops roaring but theres a hammering i can feel what did i do for this i ate well lived well no stress was happy please someone make it stop

 

[noname223]

You are in this forum since February 2019. I think you you know some pro and cons of different ways how to ctb. If you really want to ctb. I think it is a matter of preference which suicide method one chooses. There are some medications or other drugs one can take to end one's life peacefully.
For me i want to try many, many medications/ therapies in order not to ctb.

 

[Spitfire]

I can not imagine it?

How long has it been since it began amplifying?

It sounds like you have been dealing with this for awhile, and nothing helps, it never gets better?

I wish something would work to help for you, this would just go away.

 

[DeadButDreaming]

I'm sorry to hear of your suffering. The only solace I get from my situation is the thought that I'm not enduring physical pain.

 

[Susan Caswell]

I can not imagine it?

How long has it been since it began amplifying?

It sounds like you have been dealing with this for awhile, and nothing helps, it never gets better?

I wish something would work to help for you, this would just go away.

The tinnitus deafening for 3 years and the amplifying came pretty much straight away so both for over 3 years but the tinnitus wasnt like this it was one ear one noise but got so much worse as soon as doctors just kept throwing anxiety meds at me my gut instinct was dont take them i could scream id have been ok i think anxiety is now unreal and ive been calm all my life ive tried to get well get it down stopped cope i want my life but i cant even function like this want to die and dont know how to can only think jump or stop eating never thought it wouldnt stop but never thought get anything like this loud i know people will say there are worse things but not for me its dementing day after day takes your sanity im damned if i will end my days insane they tortured people with noise drove them mental to never have quiet peace calm i so loved the quiet valued it and my health and life never knew so hard to end it i suppose i just keep hoping it just stops and can get well and built up im skin and bone and i was just right didnt have it to loose no sadly nothing helps and ive tried everything possible best specialists tinnitus clinics therapies supplements vitamins all i want was normal life as i was cant believe its happened ot why just came from nowhere