sannoji

sannoji

dreaming of flying
May 4, 2023
55
it actually feels crazy, to have them back. we hadn't spoken since late last year (i was hanging out with someone who hated them, and since i stopped speaking to that person i can speak to them again) and it almost feels like an exaggeration but it's like i can breathe again.

technically they've wronged me before but i've never really been a vengeful person. it's almost like i get bored of the grudge, and i have a strange mindset where someone being boring is often the deciding factor in whether i stop talking to them, over actually being wronged by them. i guess we'll see how that goes, but i think we as people have changed a bit, so.

i don't know, i always missed them and i'm glad to have them back. it's like they're the only person in the world who understands me without trying, and i understand them back. we both consider ourselves rotten people, the things we consider important are probably at odds with a lot of the rest of the world, but it's so easy to speak to them. it's like love but never romantic, just a deep understanding. i never know how to explain what i have with them, it's like even if i'm mad at them i still know we're alike, i still want to keep being their friend. i know i can talk to them at any time and they'll respond and for once in my life those responses help. it's like they're always and truly on my level.

it's odd, it makes me want to live a lot more. they know how i am about death, i've told them, but i feel like i could talk to them about it. i feel like even if it was the decision i took they would speak to me honestly about it.
 
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Reactions: Suicidal Ideation
itsoverforme

itsoverforme

New Member
May 31, 2023
4
Friends can definitely help with these thoughts, I hope that you stay on this path and don't distance yourself from them! :)
 
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