vipatherappa
Student
- Feb 28, 2023
- 35
hey everyone,
This is my first ever post in the community so I guess I'll introduce myself a little. 20M, international student in the UK. I feel like my whole life is hinging on one massive assignment that I can barely ever get the motivation to work on properly and I felt like I've regressed in my personal development and self-assuredness that it seems every functioning adult has. I'm the least fit I've ever been in my life. I have barely any motivation to do anything other than slack off or jack off if my parents aren't around, and I'm apprehensive about being active because of my anxiety. I hate myself, and I take it out on other people so often.
I don't know if I have any prospects at all if I don't finish this fucking assignment and while there are a lot of supportive people in my university (including my thesis supervisor) that I think might be willing to help me, my anxiety means that I always fear that they will judge me and scold me, especially as I've done a couple things that might have pissed him off this year. I don't know why but I've always so deeply feared getting scold at by authority figures. I can't bear the shame I will feel if I fail this year. I'm the golden child in my extended family, I've been given everything a young person would want, and I did fuckall with it.
I've already told so many people that I have and will change, and I haven't. I need a way out, a plan B. It would be great if someone could point me to a source for SN in the UK, (for example IC and CCS, but I don't know what they mean) plus methods to help ease the pain, deal with seizures from methemoglobinemia etc. Is there a thread that people usually consult?
CTB in the woods, wrapped in my favourite bedding, thinking of sweet thoughts seems idyllic to me.
I hope everyone here finds a way out of their pain, whether it be recovery or a peaceful final rest.
This is my first ever post in the community so I guess I'll introduce myself a little. 20M, international student in the UK. I feel like my whole life is hinging on one massive assignment that I can barely ever get the motivation to work on properly and I felt like I've regressed in my personal development and self-assuredness that it seems every functioning adult has. I'm the least fit I've ever been in my life. I have barely any motivation to do anything other than slack off or jack off if my parents aren't around, and I'm apprehensive about being active because of my anxiety. I hate myself, and I take it out on other people so often.
I don't know if I have any prospects at all if I don't finish this fucking assignment and while there are a lot of supportive people in my university (including my thesis supervisor) that I think might be willing to help me, my anxiety means that I always fear that they will judge me and scold me, especially as I've done a couple things that might have pissed him off this year. I don't know why but I've always so deeply feared getting scold at by authority figures. I can't bear the shame I will feel if I fail this year. I'm the golden child in my extended family, I've been given everything a young person would want, and I did fuckall with it.
I've already told so many people that I have and will change, and I haven't. I need a way out, a plan B. It would be great if someone could point me to a source for SN in the UK, (for example IC and CCS, but I don't know what they mean) plus methods to help ease the pain, deal with seizures from methemoglobinemia etc. Is there a thread that people usually consult?
CTB in the woods, wrapped in my favourite bedding, thinking of sweet thoughts seems idyllic to me.
I hope everyone here finds a way out of their pain, whether it be recovery or a peaceful final rest.
