Got a shot of Risperdal today

[Crows]

I got a shot of Risperdal today from my nurse. I felt like telling nurse if I could decline it because what's the point if I'm going to ctb. Everyday while I wait just gets more intense. I finally ordered my SN today and the low motivation I've had to do anything has been tremendous since I've been depressed. I don't think most people understand is that when your depressed doesn't mean you cry alot. For me it's like I've been in a terrible wreck and I haven't died yet, coming to terms with cbt cause there ain't anyway out. I don't think I will cry. I've done most of my crying in my 30s. But back to the medicine, does it make it harder to cbt with certain meds , like mentally ? What do y'all think?

 

[Polly]

I got a shot of Risperdal today from my nurse. I felt like telling nurse if I could decline it because what's the point if I'm going to ctb. Everyday while I wait just gets more intense. I finally ordered my SN today and the low motivation I've had to do anything has been tremendous since I've been depressed. I don't think most people understand is that when your depressed doesn't mean you cry alot. For me it's like I've been in a terrible wreck and I haven't died yet, coming to terms with cbt cause there ain't anyway out. I don't think I will cry. I've done most of my crying in my 30s. But back to the medicine, does it make it harder to cbt with certain meds , like mentally ? What do y'all think?

Yeah I'm out of tears. Out of motivation.

Yet I keep making vegetable soup.

 

[Hoopali]

I got a shot of Risperdal today from my nurse. I felt like telling nurse if I could decline it because what's the point if I'm going to ctb. Everyday while I wait just gets more intense. I finally ordered my SN today and the low motivation I've had to do anything has been tremendous since I've been depressed. I don't think most people understand is that when your depressed doesn't mean you cry alot. For me it's like I've been in a terrible wreck and I haven't died yet, coming to terms with cbt cause there ain't anyway out. I don't think I will cry. I've done most of my crying in my 30s. But back to the medicine, does it make it harder to cbt with certain meds , like mentally ? What do y'all think?

I think it depends on the meds. I don't know if it would make it harder to ctb with them, but it would certainly make what may be your last few days harder without them. Especially as your body as well as your mind may rely on them now.

 

[ritsulover]

Risperdal sucked for me. Had erectile dysfunction and was insanely tired all day. Not to mention it didnt really help my bipolar. Antipsychotics are the devil. If it works for you though that's cool.

Meds have done nothing but hurt me, except effexor which is my anxiety meds. That's helped a bit. Not to mention getting prescribed lorazepam was fun considering I just abused it. Tbh meds have made it easier in my decision to ctb cause they never worked for me.

 

[Crows]

Im running out of time. I can enjoy myself until the SN gets here but before I know it, it will be here. I will prolly drink SN couple of days after I get here. I've tried poisoning myself with antifreeze didn't work cause it was so nasty. I tried drinking it with lots of water to get the taste out but it didn't help. Guess lots of people sell Antifreeze with a special liquid that makes it virtually undrinkable.

 

[Crows]

I've decided as my last meal I'm going to order myself a very nice pizza with Dr pepper make it easy and less complicated.

 

[Hoopali]

I've decided as my last meal I'm going to order myself a very nice pizza with Dr pepper make it easy and less complicated.

Makes sense, as long as the stomach is empty by the time the SN goes in, especially with the gaseous Dr P. I keep thinking I might order a pizza instead of going out food shopping but then do neither and don't eat at all.

Remember though, you don't have to rush. It's ok to back out. Don't put pressure on yourself

 

[Crows]

Makes sense, as long as the stomach is empty by the time the SN goes in, especially with the gaseous Dr P. I keep thinking I might order a pizza instead of going out food shopping but then do neither and don't eat at all.

Remember though, you don't have to rush. It's ok to back out. Don't put pressure on yourself

It's time and I'm wanting to do it on a cool day . So April may be the last time I'm able to. Might wait until May. Time is my pressure.

 

[Crows]

I wonder if I could mix my sn in a cold pitcher of pink lemonade

I wonder if I could mix my sn in a cold pitcher of pink lemonade

That sounds like heaven
I figured out what I want my last meal to be.A big juicy pizza.

I wonder if I could mix my sn in a cold pitcher of pink lemonade

That sounds like heaven
I figured out what I want my last meal to be.A big juicy pizza.

I've been making things seem like heaven today. I guess because I've finally decided cbt is the best way for me to go

 

[Crows]

I'm actually writing a suicide note but more like book. I've decided that I'm going to filll out a binder of paper with my daily goings since I have decided to cbt