Google Is So Frustrating

[KafkaF]

One of the biggest things I'm dealing with right now is that I know I should kill myself and I want to, but I'm having to mentally prepare for it and trying to overcome my survival instinct and fear of non-existence.

To this end I've tried to find information that can help me do this a few times now, but I never seem to be able to. Because even when you pretty straight-forwardly search stuff directly asking for stuff about HELPING you end things and coming to terms with CTB, you just get bullshit pro-life stuff.

Also, can people and corporations stop with the suicide hotline stuff? I've been dealing with depression for over 10 years and been suicidal an uncountable number of times, I know what the freaking suicide hotline is. I just don't want to use it. F off with that shit.

It's just so frustrating that all of these corporations feel the need to write their algorithms in such a way that they only ever allow you to easily find content that tries to talk you out of ending things, rather than actually allowing you to find what you're looking for and what would ACTUALLY help me.

I don't need another 500 word page telling me about how life is worth living, and people care, and all the pretty butterflies and all that bullshit. I just need information on how I can finally be at peace with things ending so I can finally accept it and go through with the thing I know I have to do.

 

[FuneralCry]

Pretty much the whole internet is always and only pro-life so I would personally see it as pointless trying to search for that. Sadly we exist in this society where there is so much brainwashing into trying to make people believe that wanting to die is "irrational" despite the fact that it's anything but as ultimately the society needs slaves, it disgusts me how suicide isn't accepted as a valid option despite all the suffering existing causes.

 

[KafkaF]

Pretty much the whole internet is always and only pro-life so I would personally see it as pointless trying to search for that. Sadly we exist in this society where there is so much brainwashing into trying to make people believe that wanting to die is "irrational" despite the fact that it's anything but as ultimately the society needs slaves, it disgusts me how suicide isn't accepted as a valid option despite all the suffering existing causes.

I might get crucified for this but, personally, I think it depends.

I certainly do think that there are people who temporarily find themselves in a bad place and then, over time, get better and are glad they didn't CTB. I've talked to people like that. So I think it's fair for society to protect people from making too rash a decision when it comes to this stuff.

That being said, not EVERY suicide is irrational. Sometimes suicide can be a reasonable way out of further, intolerable and untreatable suffering. If you've been through a decade or decades of pain, tried therapy, tried all kinds of meds, tried this and that and still find yourself in a terrible and hopeless situation then I think that question has to be at least reasonably able to be discussed.

And it annoys me that both of these get treated as if they're the exact same thing. When they're NOT.

It's not like I was even searching for suicide methods. Just a question about how I might come to terms with it.