Goodbye Thread?

[LostAllHope88]

So I've been taking meto every 8 hours according to Stan's guide since yesterday. By following the schedule that means 3 hours left until SN. I won't lie, it's scary. But I just keep reminding myself that life is probably scarier than CTB for me at this point.

I'm so in debt I'll never get out, tanked my credit, my vehicle is broken down, have $32 to my name, HIV positive and about to run out of my medication but no health insurance because my state took it away under false pretenses…it's just so messed up guys.

If it was one or two things maybe I could still try to turn things around, but there are too many things all at once. Mostly all my own fault too.

Now this wasn't meant to be a pity post, but just wanted to let you know I appreciate this community a lot. I've learned a lot here and had some great chats with some of you. It's a very welcoming place and really shouldn't get all the bad press.

I'll do my best to report my experience with SN for you all. And again, thank you

 

[nohopeleft69]

I also have a broken down rig, barely holding my job, have mental illnesses, haven't been allowed to see my kids for months and in some debt. Feel like shit, look like shit and today my sn arrived as if it were a sign. I hope things get better for you or you get peace however you need. I hope we all do.

 

[LostAllHope88]

I also have a broken down rig, barely holding my job, have mental illnesses, haven't been allowed to see my kids for months and in some debt. Feel like shit, look like shit and today my sn arrived as if it were a sign. I hope things get better for you or you get peace however you need. I hope we all do.

I hope things get better for you as well. Unless the SN fails somehow I think this will be my last night in this world so whether that's better or worse I don't know. But no one is here, just me so I won't be found in time to be revived. Well my brother's cats are here at least for some comfort before the final act.

 

[SpaceCadet]

We'll be here with you whatever you decide to do, i'm sorry that life's pushing you to this point, i also have a lot of debt which i don't plan paying, sending you some love ❤

 

[nohopeleft69]

I am sorry it came to this for you(me as well, soon enough). sending nothing but peaceful vibes your way. Take care no matter what you choose. You deserve peace.

 

[LostAllHope88]

Thank you guys, man I wish it didn't have to come to this for any of us

 

[SpaceCadet]

Thank you guys, man I wish it didn't have to come to this for any of us

Maybe do you want to wait for another day? Things can change drastically sometimes, speaking from experience

 

[LostAllHope88]

Maybe do you want to wait for another day? Things can change drastically sometimes, speaking from experience

What changed for you if you don't mind me asking?

 

[Graytaichi]

Sad to hear. I was in debt too 55k. Took a repayment scheme that offers low repayment but longer years and low interest rates. Before that the interest rates are killing me. Now im debt free , perhaps u can find some help.seems like your problem is money. I cancel all my cc ,cc are evil for me overspending on casinos etc.

 

[SpaceCadet]

What changed for you if you don't mind me asking?

Well, i'm not a role model at all, but after i got my last job things improved a lot, i started gym and taking care of myself, of course i wouldn't be here if my life was great, but it gave me reasons to push it through for some time. The bridge between hours sometimes bring major changes

 

[LostAllHope88]

Sad to hear. I was in debt too 55k. Took a repayment scheme that offers low repayment but longer years and low interest rates. Before that the interest rates are killing me. Now im debt free , perhaps u can find some help.seems like your problem is money. I cancel all my cc ,cc are evil for me overspending on casinos etc.

Yeah money is a big part of it, also chronic pain from a car accident in 2011. I'm just so tired of trying to keep fighting to stay alive when it seems like everything keeps getting harder and harder. My mom CTBed in the fall too so that's probably played a big role in my decision too.

Well, i'm not a role model at all, but after i got my last job things improved a lot, i started gym and taking care of myself, of course i wouldn't be here if my life was great, but it gave me reasons to push it through for some time. The bridge between hours sometimes bring major changes

Are you glad you decided to stay? You guys are making me think more about it, I'm not sure exactly what I will ultimately decide. 1h30 now until I'm supposed to drink the SN

 

[Bedrock48]

Yeah money is a big part of it, also chronic pain from a car accident in 2011. I'm just so tired of trying to keep fighting to stay alive when it seems like everything keeps getting harder and harder. My mom CTBed in the fall too so that's probably played a big role in my decision too.

Are you glad you decided to stay? You guys are making me think more about it, I'm not sure exactly what I will ultimately decide. 1h30 now until I'm supposed to drink the SN

Any hesitation then please postpone, no one will judge you for that. The sn will always be there if/when you want it down the road.

100% your decision alone, I hope whatever choice you make brings you peace and comfort.

 

[SpaceCadet]

Yeah money is a big part of it, also chronic pain from a car accident in 2011. I'm just so tired of trying to keep fighting to stay alive when it seems like everything keeps getting harder and harder. My mom CTBed in the fall too so that's probably played a big role in my decision too.

Are you glad you decided to stay? You guys are making me think more about it, I'm not sure exactly what I will ultimately decide. 1h30 now until I'm supposed to drink the SN

Honestly i'm glad i pushed it through, i had some good times after that. I'm not trying to influence you to do it or not, as people's situation are different, i just think if you're not sure you shouldn't end it too early, it won't hurt to wait a little bit more, i'll be here with you if you want to talk no problem ❤

 

[LostAllHope88]

Thank you everyone for the kind words and different perspectives. Even though it may not be entirely hopeless for me, I think I'm as ready as I've ever been for this. I'm so scared that if I don't do it now and things get worse that I won't be able to work up the same nerve again. Things could get better, but I'm about to be homeless and I just don't think I can go through with all of it. So I will drink SN in roughly an hour. If you were me, how would you spend your last hour?

 

[Bedrock48]

If you were me, how would you spend your last hour?

Anything that would make you feel contented, maybe something as a distraction. Watch a favourite tv episode, reflect on positive memories, listen to music, draw, look through photos. Whatever feels right honestly.

 

[NearlyIrrelevantCake]

I'm sorry life has just piled so much bullshit on you at once. I don't blame you one bit.

I hope you find peace and relief from your suffering.

 

[LostAllHope88]

Just took the double dose of antacids. A little nervous, but also hoping for a semi-peaceful release from everything.
Mixed 2 cups of the SN (22g and 23g for backup) and getting ready to drink

 

[onlyanimalsaregood]

I am so sorry that life has led you to this. It's unfair. I hope you find peace whatever your decision.

 

[LostAllHope88]

Extremely salty
Not the worst but I'm scared now

 

[NearlyIrrelevantCake]

Godspeed.

 

[Niirvana]

How do you feel? Hope its painless

 

[Shu]

I don't think that they will be responding anymore. May you be at rest.

 

[ShatteredSoul]

We're here with you. You're not alone.

 

[sealbabies]

I know I'm late, but best wishes on your way. May you find the peace you long for.

 

[ShatteredSoul]

I think they're gone. I hope you're at peace. X

 

[not-2-b-the-answer]

Sorry I missed you. I hope you are at peace. I will miss you.

 

[FuneralCry]

I'm sorry for all the suffering that has brought you to this point. Life really is so cruel and it is sad to hear how much some people suffer. I hope you find freedom from your pain in whatever happens.

 

[Graytaichi]

Feel sad and happy to see you gone. May u see light at tye end of the tunnel!!!

 

[bad luck]

Rest in peace

 

[TheWood]

R.I.P.